Help Me Revise and Edit My Fiction Story [Archive] - Glock Talk

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Gregoriev
06-18-2006, 11:55
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MrsKitty
06-18-2006, 15:27
What do you work in? M$ Word?

If so, I will email you as soon as I have time to read it and REFLECT before making comments the way my editor does me. (I am going to take my father to eat for Father's day so I don't have time to do it right now)

If you use something else, I can send it to you as a .pdf but you just can't work within the file itself. It will work but you can't add your notes to the actual document. What we have found works best is for the author's comments to be in black and the editor's comments be in a differnt color and the author's thoughts when working to be in a third color when working something over via email. Or we simply use the Add Comment option with M$ Word and a second color for other things. Whatever route you go, you will find what works best for YOU. Stick with it.

My editor doesn't "fix" things persay, he instead asks "why?" or "WTF?" or "would so-and-so be better here?" or occasionally I get a "great" from him. He can slaughter me if I need it, and he has before by saying "I appreciate all the hard work here but this just ain't gonna work. Let's try again with something entirely different. Don't bother trying to use this NOW, save it for something else and write this over differently" with some suggestions as to how to start. (Don't ever trash anything you wrote--add it to a file somewhere and some day you just may be able to reuse it or at least springboard off the idea you had when you wrote it.

And you are only 18? :faint:

:)

MrsKitty
06-18-2006, 15:35
Oh, one little thing, a nitpick.

I haven't poked around this site any, other than to grab your first chapter but seeing the font made me think of something you may not know.

The font used on the site is a sans serif font which means the "tails" to the letters are missing. It is a cleaner looking font but it is also harder to read. Try to always work with serif fonts when you have the chance as the tails draw the eyes to the next letter which prevents/reduces fatigue.

Why do you think Times New Roman is so damn famous? :freak: :clown: :)

Gregoriev
06-18-2006, 22:14
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Miss Maggie
06-19-2006, 06:18
Gregoriev, I'll be glad to offer some suggestions on your first chapters. If Missk is going to edit it for you, why not consider the changes she suggests, incorporate the ones you decide to use, and then I'll go over it for you? It might be more helpful that way than if we both read and comment on the same version. What do you think?

If writing your story is anyways like writing my novel was for me, this is only the first of many edits you'll be doing anyway. Don't put too much work into the first chapters before going on, because what I've found is that further into the novel as new ideas hit, you'll want to make major changes, and that will cause you to have to go back to the beginning and rewrite anyway. Also, as you progress through the story, your own writing ability is going to improve until when you near the end, you'll want to go back and re-do the beginning anyway.

I read some of your work. You've got a lot going for you!

Gregoriev
06-19-2006, 06:29
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MrsKitty
06-19-2006, 10:44
That works!

You have email. It is the first chapter. If anything is unclear, just ask.

If I could figure out a SIMPLE way to put it here for others to see, I would. But I think I would have a nervous breakdown if I tried and Eric would strangle me if I broke the database with all the coding it would take :supergrin:

MrsKitty
06-19-2006, 10:51
Originally posted by Gregoriev


Thank you very much for your support. I think your idea is very good, and we should use it. so, here is what I gather so far:
1) I revise a chapter
2) missk edits that chapter
3) Miss Maggie goes over it last


Miss Maggie will see things that I will miss. Whoever you get to read it next will find things that she misses. You look for your own most common mistakes in other people's work out of habit from looking for your own. You will see a few things I marked grammitical even though that was not what I was editing specifically that just jumped out at me as I make the same mistakes.

Also, you repeat certian words often. For a lot of people a frequently repeated word is "that" so I got to where I would print out a copy of whatever I was working on be it a research paper or a short story and read the entire document highlighting just the word "that" question. Then I went back and decided if I needed that word or another in the place or if it could be cut completely. Then I switched colors and did another problem word for me.

You will find your own method that works best for you in time, whatever it will be. Once you find it, just stick with it.

Gregoriev
06-26-2006, 07:36
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major
06-30-2006, 06:47
Gregoriev, I think it is great that you are writing this much material at such a young age. You obviously have talent and will only get better as you continue to write. Just write, write, write. Most "writers" simply don't do enough of that.

Good luck to you.

Miss Maggie
06-30-2006, 07:39
Originally posted by major
Gregoriev, I think it is great that you are writing this much material at such a young age. You obviously have talent and will only get better as you continue to write. Just write, write, write. Most "writers" simply don't do enough of that.

Good luck to you.

+1.:)

Gregoriev
06-30-2006, 19:12
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Miss Maggie
07-02-2006, 06:31
Did you get my email?

Gregoriev
07-02-2006, 23:17
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MrsKitty
07-03-2006, 06:00
Gregoriev,

You need to edit your post ASAP to remove that email address, unless it is your own or a publically published company contact.

In the future, such questions should be asked privately via PM or email.

Gregoriev
07-03-2006, 06:51
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Miss Maggie
07-03-2006, 07:17
Originally posted by Gregoriev
Sorry about that. I didn't know email accounts like yours were something to keep as private as possible. :embarassed:

Common sense! And I asked you twice to edit it yourself before I went looking for help elsewhere! You were on line last night when I pm'ed you asking you to remove the address, too, because I checked. You simply ignored the pm and then you ignored the email.

You probably have no idea what a chapter editing like I gave you from a published writer would have cost if you paid for it. You might want to check and see what you blew.

Let other writers be warned. Take your time to send Gregoriev private editing suggestions and he'll post your email address.

Sadly, I'm beginning to think Manonmars was right, at least about some things!

Thanks so much, Eddie C. for taking care of this.

Gregoriev
07-03-2006, 07:58
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MrsKitty
07-03-2006, 10:50
Originally posted by Gregoriev
Sorry about that. I didn't know email accounts like yours were something to keep as private as possible. :embarassed:

Sharing that email address publically like that on the board opens it up to being captured by bots, spiders and whatever else there is which in turn gets the holder endless spam, virii and headaches. I am suprised that you have yours listed in your sigline for this very reason! Think about how many times you have seen people post their address as somename at yahoo.com or some other way that would prevent it from being captured as easily.

What if that address had her last name in it? That combined with a location could have very dire consequences being placed on the board. Also, say it was a member that everybody freely addresses by first name and the address had the last name and was a .gov which could be traced back to who the person actually was? You could have just blown the cover an officer worked a very long time to establish. Likewise, you could have just made a woman's identity known who could be preyed upon or who had come here seeking to learn how to protect herself from the abusive husband she had just left.

Why do you think we create user names? How many people use their real name as their user name? Sure a few do, but out of the 50K plus here, I would say less than 500 do. Some people have no problems with making such information public but some of us do. Call us paranoid, overly sensetive, intelligently cautios, whatever you want, just respect it.

Just think. OK? :)

Gregoriev
07-03-2006, 11:22
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Miss Maggie
07-04-2006, 16:42
Originally posted by Gregoriev

Please dont over react to this. I dont like making excuses, but I really wasn't thinking when I posted that, and I honestly didn't know the consequences. What on earth would I have to gain from posting your email?

I truly am sorry if You were inundated with emails from people on this board, and it will never happen again.

Once again, I am very sorry for what happened here, and I will be sure nothing like it happens again. [/B]

Gregoriev,
I do believe you just didn't think and I appreciate your remorse for what you did, and I believe you'll never do it again; but that doesn't change the results. It was a shock to see my email address posted like that and an inconvenience staying on line for half the night trying to catch a mod who had the power to delete it. I mistakenly thought everyone got PM notices and chose to ask you to delete privately while you were online hoping to keep what has happened off the board, so I was at fault jumping to the conclusion you'd ignored my PM.

Concerning other GTers, I was not worried any of the time about emails from other members of the board. Mostly, they are a great bunch of people and I don't know of even one who's sent emails or PMs that were not welcome. I was worried about other unsavory sorts picking up the address and I was not over reacting in that worry because since the address was posted, I've received around 25 emails daily for various sexual enhancers. I feel sure that is only the beginning and I truly hope I do not have to do away with an email address I've used every day for more than five years, but I'll deal with that if I have to.

On the matter of when someone does send you a ctitique, it would be a courtesy for you to send them a reply telling them you've received it even if you don't have time to look at it then. As of right now, I know you received an email from me because you posted my address, but I do not know if the criticism came in attached and that was all I wanted to know when I wrote you to start with. Doing a critique takes quite a long time, as you've pointed out in other areas yourself, and the effort deserves a response so the one sending it knows it has been received.

Happy writing, and I hope I gave you at least a tip or two that will help you in your work. As I said in the email, you're welcome to use or you're free to ignore any suggestion I offered. One thing I did not tell you in the email but that I've found out for myself if that if a criticism makes you bristle, give it close thought, because for sure there's something to learn in that part. Your story in the early drafts shows a lot of promise. Keep up the good work!

Miss Maggie

Gregoriev
07-26-2006, 10:43
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Miss Maggie
07-26-2006, 15:58
Originally posted by Gregoriev
Thank you all for you help, especially Ms. Maggie, for revising and editing my story. I have brought chapter 1 up to version 1.5 and have updated it on FF.net so everyone can read it.

Please go read it and tell me what you think. I tried to make use of more tag lines, though I fear I may have misused them in a few places. Please tell me what you think.

I am currently going to spend the entire day working on chatper 2, and with any luck I will have that updated soon as well. I thank you all for your kind words and support while I work on my novel.

EDIT:
I just brought chapter 2 up to Version 1.0!!! I will be working on Chapter 3 today and tomorrow. Thank you all for your support!!!:rollsmiley:

You're most welcome. But all I did was to offer you suggestions for editing and revising. You're the one doing the revisions. :) I'm looking forward to reading your changes.

Keep on writing.

Gregoriev
07-28-2006, 12:46
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blinddog
08-01-2006, 17:06
Greg, I looked at some of the first part of what you have. I have a small suggestion, try doing some of what you are discribing. Like shooting a styrofoam ice chest with wolf 7.62x39 jacketed ammo. The discriptions of the FTF's was right on more or less, the older stuff did misfire about that often, but a styrofoam box will not split into sections like you are discribing they usually get a small hol;e in one side (entry then a slightly larger one on the exit)Now if they were partly waterfilled and you were useing soft points they might split or fall apart on one shot. All in all it is pretty good though, I always check those little details though. I write some scy fi and western stuff.
You may want to remember that in sci fi you have to follow the laws of physics, if you do not it becomes fantasy.
;)
I will be looking im on this from time to time but right now i have a deadline to meet and am working on my own story, so I do not have the time to get into more detail.
Oh yes; I noticed that the style you are writing in would fit a screen play, perhaps better than a novel.
Keep up the good work though and do not get discouraged.

Gregoriev
08-01-2006, 20:41
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blinddog
08-01-2006, 21:54
I read part of what ever version is on the website you posted about five or six pages. As I said I am working against a deadline right now and didn't want to go off on a tangent to what I am doing. I am not in a Sci Fi thing right now. I am doing a series of westerns, I find it better when writing to get my mind set into the period I am writing about. So I limit my TV viewing, and reading, to subject specific areas. But with the current world events
I am watching the news more than I should be. I get on the internet to places like Glock Talk to get totally away from what I am working on when I get blocked, then I can come back and start over. I had not gone that far down in Glock Talk before and so finding the reading room was a surprise.
As I understand you are 18? If so you are way ahead of where I was at your age, but we didn't have computers then not even word processors, every thing was done with a type writer.:freak: So editing was a real pain much more than it is now. It looks like you are getting a lot of help from the people at Glock Talk, one bit of advise I want to give you. Be careful of what help you get, listen, but take any thing with a grain of salt. From what i read you have a good style starting out that usually takes time to develop. You have a good idea and have a sense of how it needs to flow. Do not worry so much about charicters they will develop as the story is flowing.

About your target shooting, why not the empty booze bottles? From the story line i get the feel that these guys are maybe twelfth grade or just out of High School right? What do a bunch of seventeen or eighteen year olds do with a hot boat and booze? How would they act?
You have some good caricters started with the one who is noise and recoil shy, is he a mama's boy? Or just a whimp? In my experiance a group like that will usually have a leader, sort of a bully, the rest go down the food chain to the whimp who is kept around because he has cash a car or access to somthing, some one in the group usually has some common sense and trys to keep the others out of trouble. Others are hangers on to be "cool".
These are just suggestions, I prefer to not allow any one to see what I am doing until I have finished and proofed, then my wife proofs and makes some editorial suggestions, I edit and make revisions where I think they are needed. Then my Agent and Publisher get a shot.
Keep at it you will get there if you can keep your desire up.

Gregoriev
08-01-2006, 22:41
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Gregoriev
08-29-2006, 13:22
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Miss Maggie
08-29-2006, 18:15
Originally posted by Gregoriev
est assured, as long as I get a critical review from somebody for one of my chapters every once in a while I will keep revising and writting...but if nobody's reading, then what's the point?

In the months after I placed the story online I havce gotten like 10 reviews total. A very disheartening figure...without everyone here I may very well have just stopped writting the story entirely. Dont abandon the thread now...

The point is you should be writig for you and for the satisfaction it gives YOU. Writing can be a lonely sport, and that's why it would be good if you could get into a local writer's group with others who share your passion.

Don't think about quiting writing, because the more you write, the better writer you will become. So never give up because of what someone else has done or has not done, or has said or not said. Write for the satisfaction it gives you!

Are there any creative writing classes on campus you could take? It would be wonderful if you could. These classes usually offer encouragement and criticism and can be very good.

One thing to remember is that not everyone likes the same genre. Some people may be into zombies, some not. That could be one of the reasons for not getting as many comments as you'd hoped, but ten seems like a pretty good number. Just keep up the good work!

Miss Maggie:)

Gregoriev
08-29-2006, 22:05
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blinddog
08-29-2006, 22:21
Get your first three or four chapters the way you want them and send them to a few publishers on spec. You need to get a copy of writers markets for 2007 I think it is out by now it will have all the names , addresses and a lot of other information related to selling your work, but do not be disapointed if you do not sell anything right away somtimes it takes years. But perseverance is the name of the game.
Oh yea I remember from one of your original posts, somthing you said about a display katana not being sutible as a weapion. I beg to differ with you. As long as you were not fencing with it fighting sword to sword but just using it to chop up dead fleash it would be very good. Most of them are 440 steel while not the best, it is used a lot in knife makeing and will take a pretty good edge. Just my take on it if I was going to do a zombie story, someone in that position is going to use anything, and every thing they can find. Good luck with your work

Gregoriev
08-29-2006, 22:47
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blinddog
08-30-2006, 14:35
I should have known that somplace on the internet would be a bunch of zombie hunters. You do know that zombies, werwolves, vampires, and all them other type creatures are FICTON don't you?
:laughabove: From what I say in that sight they are very confused about the differance between fact and fiction. The only reason I brought up the display swords was that if your back is to a wall you use ANYTHING you can find. Chainsaws have been done so many times that they are getting to be expected, if you want to be freash figure out somthing unique. Some thing that is common and not usually thought of. Like maybe one of them string trimmers with a brush blade attached in place of the spool. After all zombies are reanimated dead, in my experiance a dead body that is untended to only lasts a couple days before it starts coming apart, dead flesh begins sloughing off in less than 72 hours in hot weather and if it is humid it goes faster as long as flies can get to it anyway, maggots do a lot in the decomposition process.
You mentioned an ending well Romero had the normal Humans hunting down and killing off the Zombies, and later movies have them capturing them and storing them for experamentation, But Dawn had all the normal humand getting killed off in the end so you just need to choose what you want to happen, I think it would depend on where the Zombies came from to begin with or how they came, an accident ina weapions lab an attack so that the cause is generally spread out. A combination you can find a seanario in the evening news if you look for it. Oh yes do not forget the sex angle you need a few females, preferabliy busty and scantilly dressed, remember T&A sells.
PM me if you want any more suggestions I do not do horror fantasy so this is really a good escape for me. Maybe I can come up with a Zombie western :banana: :rofl: keep up the writing you do have talent:thumbsup:

Gregoriev
08-30-2006, 17:05
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DriBak
09-21-2006, 19:04
:supergrin:

Gregoriev
09-22-2006, 05:29
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