Reportorters [Archive] - Glock Talk


View Full Version : Reportorters

12-09-2006, 08:50
Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Cokie Roberts, and a tough old

U.S.Marine Sergeant were all captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of

the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request

before they were beheaded.

Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowl

full of hot spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and

returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die


Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to hear the song

"O Canada" one last time." The leader nodded to a terrorist who had

studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag

Musicians and played the anthem. Jennings sighed and declared he could now

die peacefully.

Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out

my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen.

Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the


The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and

Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."

The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your

final wish?"

"Kick me in the butt," said the Marine.

"What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"

"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the butt," insisted

the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the


The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm

pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting

confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine and sprayed

the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis were either dead or

fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings, and Roberts, they asked

him, "Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask

them to kick you first?"

"What," replied the Marine, "and have you three A-holes report

that I was the aggressor?