Help me make this gal confident! [Archive] - Glock Talk

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mr00jimbo
12-19-2006, 16:01
So I know this girl. She's 5'8, 230 pounds. She doesn't look it though. At almost 20, she's never kissed a boy or been on a date. It's weird, because I swear to God she's beautiful and she is very smart too.

So I told her that I want her to be confident and stop having such low self esteem. But I need ideas.

Things I told her to highlight physical attributes;
-lip gloss. IMO it looks very good on any gal
-"nice" panties. Not for anybody else to see, just for herself. Somehow she does not want to listen to me for this.

I'm not doing this for my own benefit. She also said that she has this "weird medical thing" where she cannot lose weight.

So I need help from some of you gals to get her self esteem up so she can be happy.

K thanks. :supergrin:

Lynn D
12-19-2006, 20:07
Originally posted by mr00jimbo
So I know this girl. She's 5'8, 230 pounds. She doesn't look it though. At almost 20, she's never kissed a boy or been on a date. It's weird, because I swear to God she's beautiful and she is very smart too.

So I told her that I want her to be confident and stop having such low self esteem. But I need ideas.

Things I told her to highlight physical attributes;
-lip gloss. IMO it looks very good on any gal
-"nice" panties. Not for anybody else to see, just for herself. Somehow she does not want to listen to me for this.

I'm not doing this for my own benefit. She also said that she has this "weird medical thing" where she cannot lose weight.

So I need help from some of you gals to get her self esteem up so she can be happy.

K thanks. :supergrin:

I read your post earlier today, and knew it would take me a while to write this....so here goes.

Self esteem comes from within....It is hard for someone with low esteem to get "better" esteem on someone else's suggestion. A lot of it has to do with the fact that our esteem is formed based on our early years and how that affected us.

I struggle with insecurity and esteem issues. I have sought and received therapy for this and learned a great deal about how to deal with my "issues". And everyone has "issues" to deal with, it's just a matter of how we choose to deal with them.

Thank you for wanting to help your friend. Unfortunately, there is little you can do to help her as she needs to determine that she wants better esteem. Essentially, she needs to decide that she deserves better, to feel better, to be better. And depending on her upbringing, this may be entirely opposite of what she is accustomed.

Please, continue to encourage her. But understand that you may see not one bit of change. If she's receptive, discuss the subject of some therapy with her. It may change her outlook. The lip gloss and "undies" are also good suggestions, too. A lot of times, feeling good inside comes from looking good outside.

And the "weird thing" with her weight....I can relate. I have a hormonal imbalance called PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) that causes, among other things, absent periods; elevated male hormones; oh, and weight gain (with difficulty losing). She may want to check with her doc to see if this (or something else) might make her have difficulty losing weight.

Be supportive. Be a friend. When she's ready to date, she will. Try to avoid pressing her on that account....I also know what that feels like.

She's luck to have someone like you concerned about her.