Wal-Mart Urine Test [Archive] - Glock Talk


View Full Version : Wal-Mart Urine Test

Nowhere Man
12-29-2006, 07:17
Wal-Mart Urine Test
In the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine
sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart"

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe
began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
>> >
>> >He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from
>> >his
>> >wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
>> >
>> >Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits
>> >dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits
>>the results.
>> >
>> >The computer prints the following:
>> >
>> >1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
>> >2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
>> >3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
>> >4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
>> >5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
>> >better.
>> >
>> >Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.