View Full Version : Advice for me ladies? 18 year old on her own soon ...
I could use a female perspective from firearm friendly folk, the gals I work with (save 1) and mom are pretty skeerd of weapons.
We are giving my niece my grandpa's old house to live in. She will be 18 soon, she was born 6-7-89 (an easy one to remember). Her dad has had nothing to do with her for her entire life, so she is stuck with me.
I've had her shooting since she was 10, I can safely hand her my G30 carry piece, she can render it safe, field strip it, put it back together, safely chamber it for carrying, and replace the round she cleared into the mag when she rendered it safe.
Every range trip, I make her recite the 4 rules, and she knows them by heart. I have a 9mm she shoots that will be transfered to her when she hits the legal age, but the state we live in is 21 years old for a handgun possession, and I'm planning on transferring one of my SKS's to her for her birthday.
She is familiar with the rifle, and can strip, clean and reassemble it. I have no worries with her owning it, nor her ability to use it in a defensive situation.
Now for the tough part ... I'm putting a lock on her bedroom door for her to have a safe place to retreat to if the situation ever arose. I keep my rifles mags loaded but not chambered near by.
I've figured out a good place for her to stash it while sleeping, and will leave it up to her on weather to keep it loaded as I do, or unloaded with stripper clips handy.
She will have a roommate, and I've told her that she (the niece) is the only one in the house who is to know a firearm is present, and to keep it in the safe while she is not in the house.
Do ya'all ladies think an 18 year old has the maturity to responsibly carry out my wishes, without wanting to be the "cool kid" with a gun in the house and show it off? She is very mature, and I'd trust her with my life, but my mom and the GF have reservations about me legally transferring her a firearm at such a young age.
If you couldn't own a handgun, would you feel safe with a long gun for home defense?
Would you be willing to critique my proposed storage plan and provide constructive criticism? She is a pretty gal with a good head on her sholders, and I wnat her to be safe.
Thanks for reading this lengthy post and providing feedback.
How mature do you feel she is?? I think people who grew up with and respect guns tend to feel less of a need to show them off. I would think as long as she has a safe and is properly using it, she should be fine. When I was 18 almost every guy I knew had a handgun, and the girls didn't think it was a "big deal". Is the roommate someone she knows, of a random selection?? If the roomie already knows she shoots, it probably won't even be an issue. thank you for letting me ramble!:supergrin:
If you are giving your niece a house to live in then why would she have roomies that do not hold the same values as she does? It seems like the place is under your control and her control, so she can choose her roomies. If she is living with people that she trusts so little that she can't tell them the defensive plan then she has a problem. It is important to be able to discuss possible emergencies, such as fire or break in with the people in your residence. The roomies should understand the concept of a safe room, a need for a cell phone and a flash light in the safe room, the existence of a defensive weapon, other aspects of security in the home that may possibly prevent the break in.....The first thing that your niece should do to secure her safety is find roomies that she can really trust. Another good idea would be to get her some literature that is geared toward women that will nurture and further her education in security and gun ownership. Women and Guns is a great magazine, and is stickied in our resources thread. I am sure there are other resources that could be recommended. But again, please start with a living situation based on trust.
BabyTaz and Lady27,
Thanks for your insight. She is much more mature than I was at 18! I was a jock football player who barely graduated, had a 2.3 gpa in undergrad school, but grew up and graduated in the top 5% of my MBA program (yep, playing sports and partying was a hard habit to break, I matured in my late 20's).
Her room mate is a long time friend that is pretty well known to me, but her folks are pretty anti-gun (she is not, but until she is on her own, I will not allow her to make range trips with us). But the niece has let it be known that she visits the range with me monthly and is proud of her shooting ability and firearms knowledge, so it will not be a surprise to the RM.
While the house is mine, I want it to be her home, and for her to feel safe in it. Thanks for the tip on providing her literature geared toward women, Lady27. I email the niece good articles on preparedness, firearms, and defensive techniques, but, I am a guy ... I'll check out Women and Guns magazine.
I trust the niece implicitly, and she has safe firearm handling drilled into her from an early age, but other young adults and firearms in the home makes me want to ensure I'm overly anal about getting her set-up.
Thanks again for the feedback.
She knows guns safety and you trust her, so why shouldn't she have a "equalizer" on hand if someone invades her home with malicious intent?
I would suggest she have a deadbolt on her bedroom door that she keeps locked when out of the house.
My only caveat would be if she starts celebrating her independence by having a lot of parties with alcohol involved, she should have the gun locked away and stay sober.
Your niece will need a dependable flash light. Many times young people are night owls, which means that the bump in the night that she hears may or may not be an intruder. It could be a roomy that got hungry or came in late. Make sure she understands the importance of always identifying her target. This is complicated by the fact that roomy may bring in a friend that your niece has never met, so your niece may see a stranger in the night that is not a threat. This is one more reason that it is better if the roomy is aware of the gun. A simple phone call that informs the household that roomy is bringing a friend home would be good information. In our home we give each other calls informing each other as to when we can be expected home or the fact that we are getting late. It's tough to get that level of communication from youth, as they think they are without need of such a buddy system. But they miss out on the security that comes with cooperation and they don't understand what they are missing. All the same, really stress the use of a flash light and explain why.
Two-Gun Mary - as of "now" she does not drink, but she sees me disarm myself when I do, and knows that alcohol and firearms don't mix.
Lady27 - funny you should mention flashlights ... I gave her and the whole family keychain LED lights to hang off their keyrings, some good LED flashlights for christmas, one to keep in the car, and one to keep on the nightstand. The 4 rules are drilled into her, and "verify your target and what is beyond" includes a positive ID of the target in our drills.
The communication aspect is something I had not considered, but is something I will mention, that is an excellent point, thanks!
I think if she's old enough and mature enough to trust her to live on her own, it would be almost criminal NOT to give her a means to defend herself. She's lucky to have an uncle who cares so much.
I got my niece a SIG Sauer P239 when she was only 16.
Originally posted by fnfalman
I got my niece a SIG Sauer P239 when she was only 16.
Thanks Mrs VR :hugs:
fnfalman - I picked up a Hi=Point C9 to transfer to her when she reaches 21 (legal age for handgun ownership in our state), and to my surprise, it is very fugly but is an excellent range/home defense weapon. She handles it well.
The house is in my name, so technically it is mine with the niece occupying it, but I want her to learn to respect the law and am not comfortable from a legal perspective keeping my handgun in that house if I am not an occupant.
That is why I'm giving her a long arm to begin with, I'm no lawyer and want to keep it legal. The SKS is a fine rifle, and should suit her home defense needs.
What is ya'all thoughts on the SKS if you have any experience with one?
If she has a roommate you should buy her a Gun vault or something similar for the handgun and the rifle. It is not realistic to think she will lock the bedroom door every time she goes somewhere else in the house or goes out, and no matter how mature she is, there's no way to know for sure about her roommate.
And more importantly, you and she have no way of knowing about the people the roommate might bring over. The lock on the bedroom door is a good idea, it's just not enough. If the house is in your name you could find yourself in court easily if someone finds one of the guns and hurts themselves or someone else.
Hiding the rifle is asking for trouble. It doesn't work. Teenagers are curious people and tend to share clothes, shoes, books, movies, etc., and go looking through one another's stuff.
I also think it's unrealistic to think she won't tell people about her firearms, although it's a good idea to encourage her not to say anything. For instance, she might point out something stupid in a movie, or they might be discussing break-ins, or dangerous men, and the topic would come up. Prepare her for people's reactions.
I'd feel better with a shotgun for home defense than with an SKS. I'd feel safer knowing my neighbors were using shotguns for home defense, instead of rifles.
Is that bedroom door solid? I could kick a hole through the hollow core doors in lots of houses now.
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