Alternate word meanings....... [Archive] - Glock Talk

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WINGS
01-12-2007, 08:26
WASHINGTON POST NEOLOGISM CONTEST

Once again, the Washington Post has published the winning submissions to
its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate
meanings for common words. The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3 . Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your soul flies
up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Jewish men.

silky
01-15-2007, 09:45
Originally posted by WINGS
...
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your soul flies
up onto the roof and gets stuck there...

Does George Carlin know that the Wa Post is stealing his jokes? From 30 years ago!