Stupid things your Soldiers, Airmen, Sailors and Marines "accomplished".... [Archive] - Glock Talk

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16vmkII
03-28-2007, 09:49
I think it would be relaxing to read about your problem soldier, as I'm dealing with probably the dumbest private I've ever had the opportunity to mentor.

Just a small amount of things he does:

1. Looks at gay classified ad type websites on gov computer
2. Fails to report in when on Quarters...he's a sickcall ranger
3. Totalled his brand new car just after allowing his insurance to lapse.

This is from this week and it's only Wednesday. :upeyes:

Enlighten me on your wonderful troops...:tongueout:

Blitzer
03-28-2007, 12:07
Time for a section eight?

16vmkII
03-28-2007, 14:37
Originally posted by Blitzer
Time for a section eight?

I wish my commander would just chapter his ass. Unfortunately, there's some 'drug deal' between my SGM and his old unit. I don't know what the issue is, but he's basically untouchable. No AR15's, etc..it's a bunch of bs. :upeyes:

I've built up a papertrail that's about a quarter inch thick in 3 months of negative counseling statements...

proheromk1
04-01-2007, 10:13
Leaving the ship while on a restricted status to go "work out" and walking to the local pub to knock a few back.

Stealing and photo-copying someones engineering drawings and passing them off as thier own.

Gun-decking engineering logs.

Missed movement while in an recall status because said member decided he had enough and drove to phillie.

And what does the masterchief do? Send him to "A" school, which is the CG's AIT so he can become a petty officer and future leader of the CG.

10-32
04-01-2007, 10:55
Laying outside on a concrete barrier talking on a cell phone while the rest of the company is inside prepping the barracks for inspection. And continues to talk on the phone after the BDE CSM rolls up. (That's a no-go).

People in BCT having sex in the mop closet.

Going to sick call, skipping out, and getting caught at the class 6 trying to buy 2 logs of dip. Then lying to the DS about company affiliation, and saying he was in AIT....for 88R. (Now known as the combat retard) THEN getting sent back to the company to report to the 1SG, and lying to him as well. In week 8 of BCT. He got restarted and lost his MOS.

One guy stole another Soldier's rented car, hit another Soldier with it, and went AWOL. Unfortunately for him, he forgot his cocaine in his wall locker before he left. He'll be spending some time in Kansas.

A couple guys got caught making out with each other in the barracks, and that's just icky.

fxdwngflyr
04-03-2007, 15:03
Join the army to be medically chaptered out, while on med hold for back problems and diabetes(sp) the individual decides to start a tree service and climbs and pulls and cuts large trees.
SM (service member) stayed in the Army long enough to qualify as being in a "star" mos and is promoted to SGT automatically. I decided to call DA promotions and spoke to a staff SGM. Explained the soldier and was told "it doesnt matter Sergeant, promote him"

Female soldier gets caught with a male in her barracks room. Lies to everyone and says he just came to wake her up. By the way the guy was crawling out of her window when he was caught. Next she is crying in my office talking about how much she loves her husband who is 6 states away.

Female soldier comes to PT formation a little drunk. It is pool day so she says she is "bleeding" and needed to go and change her clothes. Me being a male, I dont challenge her. I trust, but verify. I bring in a female SSG in the counseling and ask the soldier why she never returned to PT. She said it was so bad that she spent the 1.5 hours cleaning herself up. She then challenges me to "come and see if you dont believe me then." I answer "No, I wont look. Its not my place. But, SSG XXXXX will." The soldier walked all the way to her door. When she unlocked it she admited she was lying. A breathalyzer test later and a .9 results just bought her a "loss of rank and pay". I love letting them set themselves up for failure.


Notice in all these instances the word Soldier is lowercase!

25May
04-06-2007, 21:08
Originally posted by 10-32
Unfortunately for him, he forgot his cocaine in his wall locker before he left. :rofl:

SergeantC
04-07-2007, 18:47
We had a few good ones in Iraq:

Soldier defecated into a Pringles potato chip can, and threw it out his second-story barracks window. Somehow, his fellow Soldiers got wind of it, and when his Platoon Sergeant asked him about it, soldier denied it -- claimed it was just a rumor. However, PSG found the can. Soldier got a Company-Grade Article 15.

NCOs caught drinking alcohol. One got it in his mail, and he and another NCO drank it.

Soldier caught looking a pornography on a NIPR-net computer. (Computer is rated for Secret informaition.)

Soldiers lost weapons and lied about it.

A female soldier was having sexual relations with another soldier when a rocket attack occured. She broke her arm jumping out the barracks window. Later, I think she went home and filed for divorce from her husband, also a soldier.

GraveroberA1
04-08-2007, 04:33
16vmkII, SergeantC

Inform your Information Assurance Security Officer (IASO) Or Regional Computer Emergency Response Team (RCERT) regarding the Porn and the spillage. Looking at porn on Uncle Samís network is prohibited by AR 25-2, and should also have been in the User Agreement everyone is required to sign.

And moving a SIPR computer to NIPR is bad enough, but doing it to look at porn?!

The system might be a little slow on the porn, but the spillage will be taken care of quickly. The Army has started to take computer security seriously in the last few years. Report it and it should be dealt with. And if your worried about reprisals, you are required to report security violations to your IASO or RCERT (note, command is not mentioned) per AR 25-2.

https://www.rcert-c.army.mil/ (Requires CAC login)

From there you can go to the links and they have links to all of the RCERT's, they should all have a 24/7 contact DSN and/or email address. Or if you need any help let me now.

Grave
Senior Information Assurance Analyst / IASO

nothing
04-10-2007, 09:42
The absolute dumbest thing I've ever seen came from a decent soldier I had in Iraq. He got a hernia and didn't go on sick call or tell anyone. We didn't find out until he was in such severe pain he couldn't move. It turns out the hernia got so bad it strangulated one of his testicles. We had to fly him out so he could have his nut amputated, spend a couple of weeks recovering in germany before being returned to us. His new nickname was UNO.

I can't help but to feel bad for him. I really think he just didn't want to cut out of patrols to go to sick call, but really, it's not like he's a sick call ranger.

Of course I've had my share of dirtbags, one E-4 caught by the 1SG behind the orderly room getting hammered. Another already in rehab for drug abuse (admitted to it prior to drug screen) shows up so intoxicated he couldn't stand. He was dumb enough to stumble up to me to ask me about a pay problem. Best I could get for these two was an Article 5.

.40 caliber
04-11-2007, 06:47
Got a good one. We had a soldier 2 weeks ago steal a pair of NVG from the tower we do guard duty at. He stuffed them in the bottom of his duffel bag. When they found out it was him and they searched his room and found them they asked why. His answer, "because I am infatuated with them"

hokieglock
04-11-2007, 07:02
had a ssgt ask my wife (an rn) to get him some date rape drug.

DriBak
04-17-2007, 16:27
Originally posted by hokieglock
had a ssgt ask my wife (an rn) to get him some date rape drug.
:laughabove: :rofl:
Damn, here is a pic of the CO's HUMMER after a dumb arse SP4 was trying to use NVG at Ft. Chaffee, ARK JRTC circa 1990, it is a pic of a pic so sorry for the quality

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j282/DriBak/Picture046.jpg

xxiv
05-07-2007, 22:36
Cherry going on leave, visiting Vegas, calling me two days after leave started telling me he's engaged to a girl he met...in Vegas.

Too many other retarded acts to list.

16vmkII
05-07-2007, 23:42
I'm in the middle of 30 days of leave and I get a call about my wonder-private. Turns out he lied to the CDR about his whereabouts during a PT formation. I think the cap's about had enough of his bs too.

xxiv
05-08-2007, 00:11
Originally posted by 16vmkII
I'm in the middle of 30 days of leave and I get a call about my wonder-private. Turns out he lied to the CDR about his whereabouts during a PT formation. I think the cap's about had enough of his bs too.

No block leave?

xxiv
05-08-2007, 00:12
Originally posted by DriBak
:laughabove: :rofl:
Damn, here is a pic of the CO's HUMMER after a dumb arse SP4 was trying to use NVG at Ft. Chaffee, ARK JRTC circa 1990, it is a pic of a pic so sorry for the quality

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j282/DriBak/Picture046.jpg

:animlol:

Juell
05-11-2007, 12:47
As of late, the "Stupid thing" soldiers have been doing here is drinking. One soldier about a month ago decided to drink too much, and beat on peoples doors inviting them to fight him so they would send him home.
Another soldier, after drinking, vomited all over himself and passed out in the door of his CHU where the 1stSgt found him.
Our 1stSgt is cool as hell, and drug him into his room and cleaned him up, but when the soldier woke up, he pretty much begged for an AR15 because of the smoking that was inevitable.:animlol:
Back in the rear before we deployed, one of our soldiers accused the ENTIRE 1st floor of our barracks of assraping him, and he walked bow legged for about three days. The Spc. who he said held him down was being med'd out, because last deployment he was wounded, and his right arm is parylyzed. CID came out and investigated, found out it was bunk and then "private assraped" went AWOL. The turd got chaptered out later.:thumbsup:

16vmkII
05-30-2007, 12:25
Originally posted by xxiv
No block leave?

During block leave I took 14 days. I waited until now to take the 30 days, because I was getting married. In 3 weeks, I'll start terminal leave unless they **** with my life some more and extend me another 365 days. :upeyes:

16vmkII
05-30-2007, 12:30
Originally posted by Juell

Another soldier, after drinking, vomited all over himself and passed out in the door of his CHU where the 1stSgt found him.
Our 1stSgt is cool as hell, and drug him into his room and cleaned him up, but when the soldier woke up, he pretty much begged for an AR15 because of the smoking that was inevitable.:animlol:

You have a good 1SG.

Originally posted by Juell

Back in the rear before we deployed, one of our soldiers acc
used the ENTIRE 1st floor of our barracks of assraping him, and he walked bow legged for about three days. The Spc. who he said held him down was being med'd out, because last deployment he was wounded, and his right arm is parylyzed. CID came out and investigated, found out it was bunk and then "private assraped" went AWOL. The turd got chaptered out later.:thumbsup:

This is just retarded. :supergrin:

Blitzer
05-30-2007, 13:09
Originally posted by proheromk1
Leaving the ship while on a restricted status to go "work out" and walking to the local pub to knock a few back.

Stealing and photo-copying someones engineering drawings and passing them off as thier own.

Gun-decking engineering logs.

Missed movement while in an recall status because said member decided he had enough and drove to phillie.

And what does the masterchief do? Send him to "A" school, which is the CG's AIT so he can become a petty officer and future leader of the CG.

Maybe the SPs will find drugs in his kit? You never know how those things happen. ;)

jobe1911
06-01-2007, 20:03
My driver had personal issues with his girlfriend and had second thoughts about showing up for the next to last drill before we shipped. He was arrested and spent a few days in jail before he was released to the unit.

Later on I had to actually go to his house, read off the packing list and eventually had to purchase some items for him at the store.

He wasn't the brightest but I stayed on his butt until the end and we all came home in one piece....he thanks me now for being so mean.

However, a unit from Alabama had my entire unit scared to death. A combat arms unit being relieved in place by a "chemical company" being sent to do route reg....in Baghdad...

Multiple sexual misconducts throughout the entire unit that the female commander couldn't get a handle on.

One female private got mad and drew her pistol on another soldier before attempting to load...

To be honest, about 75% of the unit was nothing but crap-bags....useless.

We pencil whipped most things and got the hell out of dodge.

fxdwngflyr
06-02-2007, 16:01
I had a LT decide he was above the regs and started to hold a weekly poker game with the lower enlisted in the barracks. He really sucked at poker and when he would not pay his debt the PV2 he owed money to reported him to IG.

He made Captain.

Just finished with a Captain from ROTC that attempted to run his company using the "friend" technique. He continually wondered why his Soldiers were in trouble and why his senior NCO's wanted to punish them. Came back crying about how his Soldiers did not listen to him on missions and how they disobeyed orders but would never give up thier names.

He has been in 5 years and is excited about retiring as at least a LTC. "It is a gimme rank as long as I dont have any bad marks"


Thank God my retirement is soon.

kikr
06-04-2007, 05:21
PFC fires flare in the ASP.

1SG caught having sex with a SPC.

CSM crashes the gate and then demands that the SGT who finally stopped him (at gunpoint) receives an Art 15. Come to find out the CSM is drunk on duty and DUI. LOL I had a heck of a time explaining why I decided to lock and load on a command vehicle. LOL

Funny thing is, that I always had better soldiers than I did Chain of Command.

Was on the way to a demo range. The 5 ton carrying the engineering platoon was broadsided by a semi. I'm the only medic in the convoy and I'm ordered by my CO to get back on the truck so that we can get to the range. (NO Medic/NO Range) I had to explain to the BN CO why I was so disrespectfull to to my Company CO.

1Lt who thought that the PROJO bunker was a great place to sneak a smoke.

2 PFC's and a Spc who steal a car, drive it on to the newly rebuilt golf course and decide to do donuts on the fairway after they finnish drinking a case of beer apiece. All of them underage.

A PV2 who sneaks a pistol into the barracks and thinks he's going to use it to get out of cleaning detail.

A femaile PV2 who didnt understand why we were upset about why she was charging guys for sex in the barracks.

Had an E2 that admitted at his courtmartial that the only reason he had enlisted was to establish a drug pipeline from what ever coast he ended up on back to Chicago.

Had an ammo 1SG that didn't know about the thumb safety on grenades and didn't understand that you could unscrew the fuse from the grenade body.

I'm kinda unique in that I went through 11B AIT before I went through Army basic. I had a drill sgt that I had to explain land nav to.

During PLDC, had a troop fail every test, written and practical, marching, pt, land nav, everything. They still promoted him.

Had a 1SG that wanted to give one of my soldiers an ART15 for missing formation. Even after he was told that she had been at the hospital following being raped the night before.

Had a troop that had not qualified with her weapon since basic, had not taken an APFT for over 18 months, had not gone through any CTT since basic but was promoted to E-5 because she was on the Army Track team. She was eventually chaptered out for fraternization. LOL

Had a guy that was in pretty much the same condition but he was promoted because he was a mason.

Had 2 drill sgts at Combat medic AIT, true hard cases, absolute morons, did nothing but talk bad to and about the troops, wanted to crucify me for holding study sessions on the quad with my squad. They got courtmartialed for banging each other in their office. LOL

Same AIT had a Senoir drill who was booted for drunk on duty.

Had a 1sg in Korea who wanted me to drive an expando van that was deadlined for brakes to or BNHQ 8 hrs south so they could put new batteries in it.


LOL I could go on forever.

RENEA
06-05-2007, 04:08
I had a soldier at Ft.Hood that decided to dress up in drag, get drunk and urinate on the BDE CSM's POV was was caught in the act by the sergeant major! He got a Field Grade for that one and was no longer permitted to perform MP duties.

I had two joes that got into a fight one night on guard duty while working the gate ands they each pepper sprayed eachother. Both got UCMJ'ed.

Another soldier that pawned his CIF issue prior to a deployment in OEF I and claims a thief stole it all...:upeyes: His wife ended up reporting him.

ADK
06-05-2007, 10:24
My SPC who reenlists then goes AWOL the next day. On Day 29 he calls me to tell me that he's in CA (my caller ID pins him down in the area), and will come back if I cut him a deal (no UCMJ). He eventually showed up the next day (to avoid a desertion charge). Later charged, given a FG Art 15, and chaptered.

One of my section chiefs that told the Battery Commander he had cancer. Turns out it was to get out of an FTX so he could have an affair. When the BC finished his inquiry and found out the guy was lying, paid someone at the hospital to falsify his medical records, was committing adultry, and was about to charge him he went AWOL. No one in his family claimed to know where he was. On Day 31 his wife calls to ask why she's not getting any money. On Day 35 his wife disappears. On Day 40 his brother (an AF SP) calls and says he's at their parents house with the mistress, wife, and kids. Later picked up by MPs, transported back to post, charged, and convicted. Did a stint in the RCF.

Section chief who took block leave and came back and pissed hot. NCO had 17 years in the Army. Asked why, he replied "I'm tired."

My two high speed PFCs that missed the bus between CP Greaves and CP Casey in Korea proceeded to make their way to the Greaves PX/CL VI and buy a fifth of Jack while waiting the hour for the next bus. They finished the bottle by the time the bus arrived. About fifteen minutes from the Casey gate one decided he needed to urinate and couldn't hold it. He urinated on the bus two seats away from a mother and daughter.

My low drag PFC and SPC that started drinking in the barracks at CP Hovey at 1000 on a Sunday. The eventually went to the Casey PX and took a cab back. As they were going through Hovey Cut, one vomitted in the cab. The driver pulled over, kicked them out and demanded payment. One proceeded to batter the driver because he didn't have any money.

One LT who was briefed about GO #1 who was caught drinking by an MP. Asked by the MP if he had been drinking alcohol, the LT replied "no." When the the MP asked for his military ID, the LT proceeded to verbally berate the SPC, and was about to take a swing at the MP before his partner pepper sprayed him. I sacked the LT shortly afterward.

Glock 21 Dan
06-18-2007, 22:07
I absolutely can not believe what I am reading on this thread. In the army I was in, (1966-1969) 90% of these people would have spent time in Leavenworth. At least we didn't have to worry about women soldiers having sex in the barracks, there weren't any. The WACS were kept in locked compounds.

kikr: What is a thumb safety on a grenade. Ours had a safety pin and a spoon.

Bren
06-19-2007, 05:57
Originally posted by Glock 21 Dan
I absolutely can not believe what I am reading on this thread. In the army I was in, (1966-1969) 90% of these people would have spent time in Leavenworth. At least we didn't have to worry about women soldiers having sex in the barracks, there weren't any. The WACS were kept in locked compounds.

kikr: What is a thumb safety on a grenade. Ours had a safety pin and a spoon.
'66-'69? I admiyt I wasn't in the Army until the 80's, but unless everybody else's picture of history is upside down, wasn't that the height of the draft, discontent, drug use, etc? I'm thinking that, given the passage of time and some wishful thinking, you remember things a little better than they were. You're not going to convicne many people that a draftee army in the 60's was better disciplined than the volunteer Army today.

As for grenades, there is a wire safety clip that holds the lever ("spoon") down if the pin is accidentally pulled.

kikr
06-19-2007, 08:21
Originally posted by Glock 21 Dan
I absolutely can not believe what I am reading on this thread. In the army I was in, (1966-1969) 90% of these people would have spent time in Leavenworth. At least we didn't have to worry about women soldiers having sex in the barracks, there weren't any. The WACS were kept in locked compounds.

kikr: What is a thumb safety on a grenade. Ours had a safety pin and a spoon.

Grenade thumb safeties kinda remind me of the wire in a clothespin. As Bren stated they are meant to keep the spoon down incase the pin is accidently pulled.

Glock 21 Dan
06-19-2007, 09:45
I didn't say anything about the '60's army being better disciplined than the army of today although it very well might have been. Most draftees just wanted to serve their time, get out and get on with their lives. There probably was as many enlistees as there were draftees during the Viet Nam War.

What I did say was that I think most of the offences that I read in this thread would have been considered quite serious and the offenders would be looking at some major confinement time or an article 15. They sure as he** wouldn't have been promoted.

Of my 3 years in the army I personelly only knew 1 person who spent time in the stockade and that was for AWOL. I knew no one who got court marshaled and only a few who got article 15's.

The grenades came packed with the body and fuse seperated. Todays "thumb safety" was what we called "safety clips" and were removed when the grenade was assembled and issued.

ADK
06-19-2007, 12:12
I cannot speak of the Army in the Sixties or the Eighties. I can only speak of what I've encountered in the past 12 years. I'm not sure if it's a direct result of the current force being an "All Volunteer" force, but I suspect that has something to do with it.

Much of my experience thus far is that most commanders are reluctant to go to court-martial, even in cases that clearly warrant it, in order to keep the monthly Unit Status Report manned at or near 100%.

Based upon my experience, you have to "overkill" your proof/counseling packet for chapters and courts martial. Far easier to do an Art 15 or admin action, e.g. rehab transfer, letter of reprimand, bar to re-enlistment, etc., where the burden of proof is less. Is it the right answer? Maybe not. It sort of goes back to the adage that you spend 99% of your time on 1% of your Soldiers. Given a choice between spending 99% of my time getting 99% of my Soldiers prepared to go to war or 1% of my time preparing for a court martial to get the 1% of Soldiers sentenced to the stockade, I'll choose the time for training.

Bren
06-19-2007, 14:14
Originally posted by Glock 21 Dan
I didn't say anything about the '60's army being better disciplined than the army of today although it very well might have been. Most draftees just wanted to serve their time, get out and get on with their lives. There probably was as many enlistees as there were draftees during the Viet Nam War.

What I did say was that I think most of the offences that I read in this thread would have been considered quite serious and the offenders would be looking at some major confinement time or an article 15. They sure as he** wouldn't have been promoted.

Of my 3 years in the army I personelly only knew 1 person who spent time in the stockade and that was for AWOL. I knew no one who got court marshaled and only a few who got article 15's.

The grenades came packed with the body and fuse seperated. Todays "thumb safety" was what we called "safety clips" and were removed when the grenade was assembled and issued.

I agree that some of the stuff I hear about privates getting away with now, even in basic training, amazes me. So I'll agree that while the Army may be more motivated in general, it does seem like they are taking less serious disciplinary action for the people who are screw-ups.

Yes, I also call the grenade safety a "safety clip" rather than "thumb safety."

fxdwngflyr
06-20-2007, 06:15
I totally blame USAREC (USAWRECK)for the problems. After having been a recruiter and seeing what the army is happy to get it is no wonder that we have what we have. The standards have been lowered by TRADOC in order to keep the mediocre to poor enlistee's in so that the "numbers game" looks good on someones OER. The problem with this thought process is you pick up the welfare soldier (lower case on purpose) who is only here to collect a check. You spend all your time perfoming corrective training on this one enlistee and the other Soldiers are forsaken. After 19 years in I cannot wait to get out. This "mans" army is lacking leaders and worse yet they are happy about it. "As long as my OER is alright I will make LTC"

What a joke.

By the way, thanks SGM's for nothing.

syne_24
07-17-2007, 23:34
Lets see here, we had a guy that was suspicious of his wife cheating on him while he was deployed. So instead of waiting to go on block leave to resolve this issue, he goes AWOL on the day we sign out for leave. He also stole his roommate credit card and used it when he was AWOL.

We also had a lot of drunks and people acting crazy to get out too. Had a guy who would tried everything he could to get out, like saluting the CDR with his left hand, showing up to PT with boots, and kissing one of the female cooks at the chow hall. There was an E-5 who was just straight up alcoholic when off duty. When SGM came through the barracks to confront him, he told SGM to go at ease! Had another guy that ran out of PT formation during the morning run to go straight into to the PX to pick up a forty.

Batesmotel
07-18-2007, 01:08
One kid I was in bootcamp with snorted the anti-coagulant powder from a blood sample tube. A simple cut would have killed him. He spent time in sick bay then shipped home.

A guy I went to high school with went Army and got duty in an armory packing weapons to be sent for factory rebuild. He started sending M16's home instead of sending them to Colt. His mom turned him in. He went to prison.

I knew one Marine who was going to barracks duty in London when he finished ITS but he went UA to see his girlfriend so he was reassigned to 1/19. At the time they were the most humping Marines in the first division, I mean they walked everywhere. He hated life when the girl dumped him. She wanted to go to London not Camp Pendleton.

A Navy corpsman we had at PTA Hawaii passed out and split his head open on a sharp piece of lava when he went to help a Marine who fell on a knife. The corpsman couldn't stand the sight of blood. It was the first injury he had to deal with for real without help.

The list goes on and on. It's funny now but 20 years ago....

Batesmotel
07-18-2007, 01:10
Edgar Allen Poe was a West Point Cadet. He showed up to formation naked. That ended his life in the Army.

jeff copeland
09-02-2007, 08:04
has anyone heard anything good after this statement?

Well Sir/SGT(i have heard it a few times), i married this stripper,Right?........................

BADSBSNF81
09-02-2007, 22:47
After 27 years, my experience has been that 10% of the troops take up 90% of my time. Most of the 10% are courtesy of the chain of command that had the individual before I got them. Seems it's always eaiser to pass along a problem child than to do what has to be done. A very few will shape up. Most end up in jail, chaptered out or being DFR'd.

deadday
09-03-2007, 11:55
Originally posted by jeff copeland
has anyone heard anything good after this statement?

Well Sir/SGT(i have heard it a few times), i married this stripper,Right?........................

...and she is a really nice guy, she only has 5 kids....

(fill in the blanks, everybody has heard this story at least once)



drew

fourdeuce2
09-03-2007, 12:14
I was stationed in Germany with this guy who had signed up for a 2-year commitment. His mother was German, so he spoke German fluently, so when he got to Germany, he hit the ground running. His 2-year tour went quick, and just a couple of days before he was due to ETS out of the Army, he decided to rent a car and run over to Amsterdam and pick up a little hash(to bring back as a souvenir of his "vacation" in Germany). He had his passport, so he drove over there, bought his hash, then got busted by German customs at the border on the way back.:tongueout: I saw him Monday morning as he was sitting by the 1SG's office. I asked him "Why are you still here? Weren't you supposed to fly back to the states this morning?" He didn't answer. Just sat there looking embarrassed. He had his hands in his laps and there were a couple of MP's standing nearby. Then I noticed that he had handcuffs on.:upeyes: He didn't fly out that day.:wavey:

Juell
09-03-2007, 13:00
A month ago, our SMAJ witnessed a TC throw a piss bottle out of his stryker onto the side of the road in Baquoba (with all the other garbage) And SMAJ decided to teach us all a lesson in littering by having us drop ramp and police call around the vic........
Bacause we all know garbage heaps in Iraq don't contain IED's or anything.....:upeyes:
And once upon a time as we crossed the tigris river, one of our guys AD's an HEDP 203 round INSIDE the vic. (thank god for minimum arming distance) one of the guys grabbed the 40mm round and chucked it into the river.

deadday
09-04-2007, 11:53
Originally posted by Juell
A month ago, our SMAJ witnessed a TC throw a piss bottle out of his stryker onto the side of the road in Baquoba (with all the other garbage) And SMAJ decided to teach us all a lesson in littering by having us drop ramp and police call around the vic........
Bacause we all know garbage heaps in Iraq don't contain IED's or anything.....:upeyes:
And once upon a time as we crossed the tigris river, one of our guys AD's an HEDP 203 round INSIDE the vic. (thank god for minimum arming distance) one of the guys grabbed the 40mm round and chucked it into the river.

I'd be willing to bet a couple simultaneously pissed their pants on that one..


drew

paper warrior
09-11-2007, 13:17
Hmm, in my squad, theres been:
Belching while at attention,
three people wearing each other's hat and not realizing it,
seeing who can chuck a stone the farthest,
when right face was called, a C/B turned left, about 6 times,
an Airman caught two unidentified birds, and still has them,
finger stuck in water bottle,
you get the idea...

fourdeuce2
09-11-2007, 13:30
Near the end of my first tour, I had been a PFC for a LONG time, and I had seen a LOT of people get promoted around me(even though there was supposed to be a promotion freeze in effect) so I went to the PX and bought some CSM rank, cut off the top 2 stripes and the bottom 2 rockers and pinned them on my uniform and wore them out to formation. I told them I was tired of being a PFC. I wanted to go up or down, I didn't care which way. :D

Jammer Six
09-11-2007, 15:12
What's "gundecking"?

paper warrior
09-11-2007, 18:08
Originally posted by Jammer Six
What's "gundecking"?

A modern navy term for falsifying documents.

Jammer Six
09-11-2007, 18:13
Thanks.

I didn't know you could have sex in a mop closet. At least, sex with a partner...

paper warrior
09-11-2007, 18:14
Maybe not, but you can sure try.


Heres a good one I just remembered. A few years ago, an NCO in my unit was patrolling at the LHC air show. What you are about to read is called the butterfingers story.

3 Officers, doing their runs, one has to go to the bathroom. The port- o - pot is the closest, and cleanest thing around. So, he tucks his hat under his left arm and proceeds to do his business. He gets up and takes the hat out from his arm to put it on, or not. So, he walks outside, not wearing his wet hat. A superior officer tells him to put his hat on. "I can't, sir." "Why not?" "Its wet sir" "Why is it wet?" "ummmm...". And guess what, the Major is right around the corner. He got a new hat.

kawalerzysta
09-20-2007, 11:15
One of my Privates left his rifle at the range. After we got it back, he spend rest of the night in prone unsupported fighting position in front of Troop HQ.

deadday
09-21-2007, 08:24
Originally posted by kawalerzysta
One of my Privates left his rifle at the range. After we got it back, he spend rest of the night in prone unsupported fighting position in front of Troop HQ.



I will never understand how soldiers can lose or leave behind weapons...I've seen it happen several times, everything from an M9 to a friggin 50cal+tripod (funny Lt. sorry about that one)...When we were in the field or at a range, if you saw a weapon lying around, you were told (if you could) to strip the firing pin, remember the buttstock number and turn it in to the SCO..



drew