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PrincessCelica
05-28-2007, 16:44
Convince an ex-boyfriend that he needs to move out.... NOW?

It's been two months, and he's still here. I've mentioned to him I'd be perfectly alright with him moving out before the lease is up, but that doesn't seem to have inspired him to leave.

I've been doing my best to be a trooper and make the best of the situation. But that's getting harder and harder to do. :crying:

Atlantya
05-28-2007, 21:39
Do you want (a) the fastest or (b) the most tactful way to tell him to move out?

Fastest? Get a new boyfriend, have sleepovers with the new boyfriend. Old Boyfriend will be out the next day. Just make sure you keep a couple of loaded glocks on hand at all times until he does, though.

Most tactful? Well, honestly, in a situation like this, tact is probably not the most effective - honesty is. Just tell him straight up, no bull****. "I thought I could handle it with you still living here, I can't, it's too hard. I want you to move out by June 1." And then, repeat that over and over and over. Don't add anything, don't "discuss" the issue, as most women like to do, don't try to fix his feelings, don't try to make anything better. Just tell him you want him out and by what date. And then shut up (which is the part we girls have trouble with - we love to explain ourselves). It may take several days, but eventually, he'll get the idea and move.

Bottom line, he's not moved because it's too easy and comfortable for him right now. Make it less comfortable. Be polite, but every time you see him, say the same thing. "John, I thought I could handle it with you still living here, but I can't, it's too hard. I want you to move out by June 1st."

Over and over and over and over. And over.

He'll move. Quickly.

Mrs. Tink
05-29-2007, 08:38
If you're both on the lease, you can't force him out. You'll depend on his goodwill to remove himself from the premises. But otherwise, Atlantya has it right.

The other alternative is that you discuss it with the landlord and YOU move out. It might be worth it for you to pay extra to break the lease.

SouthernGal
05-30-2007, 13:29
Originally posted by PrincessCelica
Convince an ex-boyfriend that he needs to move out.... NOW?

It's been two months, and he's still here. I've mentioned to him I'd be perfectly alright with him moving out before the lease is up, but that doesn't seem to have inspired him to leave.

I've been doing my best to be a trooper and make the best of the situation. But that's getting harder and harder to do. :crying:

Sounds like he's waiting on you to pack his things for him or something :upeyes: Does he think he's doing you a favor by sticking around?

The best solution to the problem (going forward) is to never get yourself in the situation to begin with. This is why I own my own place and live alone. Slumber parties are okay though :supergrin:

You gots my sympathy, that's for sure :)

Desert_Scorpion
05-30-2007, 16:50
Originally posted by SouthernGal
This is why I own my own place and live alone. Slumber parties are okay though :supergrin:



Apparently, my invitation got lost in the mail. Even though I'm on the other side of the country, please feel free to include me in your next "All girls plus Pimp Okie" slumber party.

Desert_Scorpion
05-30-2007, 16:57
Originally posted by PrincessCelica
Convince an ex-boyfriend that he needs to move out.... NOW?

It's been two months, and he's still here. I've mentioned to him I'd be perfectly alright with him moving out before the lease is up, but that doesn't seem to have inspired him to leave.

I've been doing my best to be a trooper and make the best of the situation. But that's getting harder and harder to do. :crying:

Princess,

Does he still harbor the hope of getting back together with you? Maybe he's hanging around, hoping to salvage things. I don't know the specifics of your situation, but it's going to be hard for him to get a date when he tells the new girl "Let's go back to my place. Don't pay attention to my roomate, who happens to be my ex-girlfriend." If the lease is in your name, tell him that it's time to go, immediately. If it is in his name, start looking for a place of your own. If it's joint, flip a coin, or reach some agreement. No matter what, the problem won't solve itself, so get busy on solving it yourself.

The Doc

PrincessCelica
05-30-2007, 16:59
An update. To clarify, both of our names are on the lease, so kicking him out is not an option. I brought up the idea of him moving out before the lease was up, and he was a real ass. I did my best to be tactful with how I worded it, but I guess that didn't work. Which is somewhat typical of our communication patterns.

But I did find out (from a mutual friend) that he has plans on moving in with a friend. This can't happen until August (when the lease is up), so looks like I need to be patient. Or find plenty to do outside of the house. Thanks for the advice. I've learned a valuable lesson. No matter how "in love" we might be, no cohabitation until after marriage!:wavey:

kcb
05-30-2007, 19:22
Originally posted by PrincessCelica
An update. To clarify, both of our names are on the lease, so kicking him out is not an option. I brought up the idea of him moving out before the lease was up, and he was a real ass. I did my best to be tactful with how I worded it, but I guess that didn't work. Which is somewhat typical of our communication patterns.

But I did find out (from a mutual friend) that he has plans on moving in with a friend. This can't happen until August (when the lease is up), so looks like I need to be patient. Or find plenty to do outside of the house. Thanks for the advice. I've learned a valuable lesson. No matter how "in love" we might be, no cohabitation until after marriage!:wavey:

Good plan!

:hugs: :thumbsup:

ATL Peach Girl
05-30-2007, 23:10
Originally posted by Desert_Scorpion
Apparently, my invitation got lost in the mail. Even though I'm on the other side of the country, please feel free to include me in your next "All girls plus Pimp Okie" slumber party.
we *really* wanted you there!!!

R didn't believe me when I told her I had NO clue what a "deer stand" was.......

Pimp Okie!! :animlol: :supergrin:

sweetatergal
05-31-2007, 08:11
Originally posted by ATL Peach Girl
Pimp Okie!! :animlol: :supergrin:

And he was soaking it ALL in!!!! :supergrin:


I guess now you know what a deer stand is. :tongueout:

:wavey:

SouthernGal
05-31-2007, 08:21
Originally posted by PrincessCelica
I've learned a valuable lesson. No matter how "in love" we might be, no cohabitation until after marriage!:wavey:

Just to throw this out there...

If you're the home owner and he's moved in with you, YOU are in control of the situation.

I can't name the number of times I was thrown out on my ear when I was married. I learned a valuable lesson from that 7 years. I own my own place now and I say who stays and who goes. Nobody else gets a vote.

Put yourself in the situation of being in control of your own life...always.

SouthernGal
05-31-2007, 08:23
Originally posted by ATL Peach Girl
we *really* wanted you there!!!

R didn't believe me when I told her I had NO clue what a "deer stand" was.......

Pimp Okie!! :animlol: :supergrin:

Glad I could edumacate you on what that thing was :supergrin:

I'll be sitting in one this fall. Just wait and see.

SouthernGal
05-31-2007, 08:25
Originally posted by Desert_Scorpion
Apparently, my invitation got lost in the mail. Even though I'm on the other side of the country, please feel free to include me in your next "All girls plus Pimp Okie" slumber party.

Somehow I'd imagine that Okie would be down with this.

ryanm
06-01-2007, 11:11
Originally posted by Desert_Scorpion
..."All girls plus Pimp Okie" slumber party.

I doubt that he'd complain... much.

SouthernGal
06-01-2007, 14:25
Originally posted by ryanm
I doubt that he'd complain... much.

Somehow I doubt you would either!

:rofl:

PrincessCelica
06-03-2007, 22:02
We put both of our names on the lease. We didn't foresee there ever being any issues. I was looking forward to perhaps getting engaged soon.

When it comes time for the lease to be renewed, that will change. My name will be the only one on the lease and no matter how much a boy may try to sweet-talk me, he's not gonna be privy to being on my lease.

Lesson learned the hard way.

ryanm
06-17-2007, 14:11
Originally posted by SouthernGal
Somehow I doubt you would either!

:rofl:

You'd better believe it!