Understanding Engineers [Archive] - Glock Talk

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Nowhere Man
06-01-2007, 05:58
UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take One
>>
>> Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when
>> one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
>>
>> The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,
>> minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,
>> threw
>> it
>> to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you
> want."
>>
>> The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the
>> clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
>>
>> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Two
>>
>> To the optimist, the glass is half full.
>>
>> To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
>>
>> To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be!
>>
>>
>> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Three
>>
>> A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
>> particularly slow group of golfers.
>>
>> The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been
>> waiting for fifteen minutes !"
>>
>> The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept
>> golf!"
>>
>> The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with
>> him." He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead
> of
>> us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
>>
>> The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire
>> fighters.They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
> year,
>> so we
>> always let them play for free anytime."
>>
>> The group fell silent for a moment.
>>
>> The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
> for
>> them
>> tonight."
>>
>> The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
>> colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
>>
>> The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night ?"
>>
>>
>> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Four
>>
>> What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil
>> engineers?
>>
>> Mechanical engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
>>
>>
>> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Five
>>
>> The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
>>
>> The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
>>
>> The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
>>
>> The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
>>
>>
>> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Six
>>
>> Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
>> possible designers of the human body.
>>
>> One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
>>
>> Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
>> has many thousands of electrical connections."
>>
>> The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.
>> Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational
> area?"
>>
>>
>> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Seven
>>
>> Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
>> Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
>> features yet.
>>
>>
>> UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - Take Eight
>>
>> An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him
>> and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
>>
>> He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
>>
>> The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back
> into
>> a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
>>
>> The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
> returned
>> it to the pocket.
>>
>> The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
>> Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
>>
>> Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back
> into
>> his pocket.
>>
>> Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
>> beautiful
>> princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you
>> want. Why won't you kiss me?"
>>
>> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
>> girlfriend, but a talking frog that I can carry around in my pocket,
>> now that's really cool !!! "

Cali-Glock
06-01-2007, 10:36
I had seen most of those before, but the last one was both new to me and it just killed me!:rofl:

Now this is sig line material!

"I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog that I can carry around in my pocket, now that's really cool !!! "

cougar_guy04
06-02-2007, 22:36
Originally posted by Cali-Glock
I had seen most of those before, but the last one was both new to me and it just killed me!:rofl:
I've seen it before . . . it (and the rest of them) is so funny because it's so true. I love the ME's build the weapons and the Civies build the targets one . . . only because I want to build them for the Navy/DOD :supergrin:

<-- Going into his senior year for mech. engineering . . . what was I thinking!:shocked: