A Woman's Dictionary [Archive] - Glock Talk

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Glockrunner
06-26-2007, 07:12
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.
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A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Bar-be-que (bar*bee*q) n.
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You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but he "made the dinner".

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n.
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Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes Dryer (cloze dri*yer) n.
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An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.
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A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&M's.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
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The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v.
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To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.
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What you spend a half hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
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Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again.

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n.
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Similar to a black hole in space---if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Lipstick (lip*stik) n.
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On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear!

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n.
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A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
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Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.