Interesting Reflections on Life [Archive] - Glock Talk

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doubletap1
05-08-2002, 11:11
1. Never raise your hands to your kids. It
leaves your groin unprotected.

2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy
is no pain, no pain.

3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

4. I'm desperately trying to figure out
why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

5. Do you think illiterate people get the
full affect of alphabet soup?

6. I've always wanted to be somebody, but
I should have been more specific.

7. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's
face he gets mad at you, but when
you take him in a car he sticks his head out
the window?

8. Ever notice that anyone going slower
than you is an idiot, but anyone
going faster than you is a maniac?

9. You have to stay in shape. My mother
started walking five miles
a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we
have no idea where she is.

10. I have six locks on my door, all in a row.
When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter
how long somebody stands there
picking the locks, they are always locking
three of them.

11. One out of every three Americans is
suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your
best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

12. They show you how detergent takes out
bloodstains. I think if you've got a tee
shirt with bloodstains all
over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

13. Ask people why they have deer heads on
their walls and they
tell you it's because they're such
beautiful animals. I think my wife is
beautiful, but I only have photographs of
her on the walls.

14. A lady came up to me on the street,
pointed at my suede jacket
and said, "Don't you know a cow was
murdered for that jacket?" I said, "I
didn't know there were any witnesses. Now
I'll have to kill you too."

15. Future historians will be able to
study at the Jimmy Carter Library,
the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald
Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
;a ;a ;a

Twisted Steel
05-08-2002, 11:42
Maybe we need to get someone to check the validity of each of these items. I find some of them hard to believe.;e

Dennis in MA
05-08-2002, 13:26
I recognize at least 1 George Carlin, a Jay Leno and a Seinfeld in that. ROTFLMAO!

AllenTC2
05-10-2002, 06:40
What about Steven Wright?