Wisdom From Johnny [Archive] - Glock Talk

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Glockrunner
05-11-2002, 03:37
Little Johnny On Math...

Little Johnny returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father."

"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied Johnny.

"But that's right!" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the *******ing difference? " asks the father.

"That's what I said!"

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Little Johnny On English...

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"

Johnny says " Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful."

Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

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Little Johnny On Grammar...

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!"

Then, she reluctantly called on little Johnny.

"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just *******ing beautiful!"