Anyone think this premise would work?

[ArodJohns]

I'm working my way through a plot and I'd like another person's thoughts about it.

The Premise: 8 or 10 years in the future, there's been no peace in Israel. So the US government and a couple other governments get together and decide to just make Israel a "communal" state instead of it having the government it has now.

Since it has no government of it's own, they would need a police/military force. Since we're the US, we decide that the officers/soldiers would HAVE to speak English, have mostly US military weapons and equipment and have customs and courtesies loosely based on the American military. Anyone from any nationality can join with exceptions for criminals, drug addicts etc.

The Plot: A man who's spent most of his life failing at one thing after another finally looses all of it. His wife, his house, his kids etc. He decides to join this group and through nearly constant fighting he sort of comes into his own and accepts himself as he is instead of being too hard on himself and those around him.


Any comments, questions or constructive criticism?

[Sgt. Rambo]

Write, write , write...Don't look for anyone's opinion yet, it's all you. Simply enjoy the art of writing and the story you have in your head. You may want to outline it more on your own, but write it and don't stop. Do at LEAST 100 words a day (it will flow to where you can blast out 1000-2000 at a sitting) when it's done, then decide what you want to do, in the mean time, get that keyboard burning, all the best.

[Mwinter]

An easy 'in' to that sort of international intervention would be some sort of calamity, with the Israelis unable and Arabs unwilling to step in and take control. Something tragic and abrup that reduces enough of the population on both sides of the conflict to make intervention appealing even to dove/sheep folk like the UN.

Even something as non-biased as a natural disaster or bio/disease event could give you the 'vacuum' needed to have the US stepping in.

Most folks I ran into over there, Izzie/Arab/tourist already spoke passable English, and many of their wep systems from small arms to aircraft are already US made or designed.

Your main character should either have a little bit of raising or background to be sympathetic to the plight of one or both sides of the Arab/Israeli conflict....maybe a lost friend/relative, or moral conviction that the fighting will hone and bring around.

I'd also look into having a scary-smart/ruthless faction of Israeli intel guys, maybe operating outside the country at the time of the calamity.....they'd serve either as a nasty enemy or a helluva ally.

Best of luck

Just my 2 cents!

[ArodJohns]

Write, write , write...Don't look for anyone's opinion yet, it's all you. Simply enjoy the art of writing and the story you have in your head. You may want to outline it more on your own, but write it and don't stop. Do at LEAST 100 words a day (it will flow to where you can blast out 1000-2000 at a sitting) when it's done, then decide what you want to do, in the mean time, get that keyboard burning, all the best.

Thanks for the advice, I've got about 500 words of back story on the main character so far.

What's odd is that I can see part of myself in him and I never intended for there to be any, aside from the both of us being American. Another odd thing, is that it seems as though I think up something, or I watch the news and think "What would he do in that situation?"

[ArodJohns]

Your main character should either have a little bit of raising or background to be sympathetic to the plight of one or both sides of the Arab/Israeli conflict....maybe a lost friend/relative, or moral conviction that the fighting will hone and bring around.

I'd also look into having a scary-smart/ruthless faction of Israeli intel guys, maybe operating outside the country at the time of the calamity.....they'd serve either as a nasty enemy or a helluva ally.

Best of luck

Just my 2 cents!

That's an awesome idea, and one I hadn't considered. I'll have to think a little bit on it. I'd almost invisioned the main character as someone who was just a normal guy who really had nothing left to work for but couldn't bring himself to commit suicide.

As for the intelligence part, the thought occured to me to have a sort of "Special Forces" group within that larger contingent. They'd go all around the Middle East doing things. I'm just not sure how to make that fit in aside from having the main character get into that group.

[waltlb]

Since you're casting the story in the future, you might have the U. N., or some successor body, decide in a fit of semi-rational thinking to have the region become a mandate of the big powers, which, as always, have internal disagreements about goals, war-fighting, political agendae, etc. Your protagonist could be one of the American contingent, who, lowly by birth and rank, and defeated in ordinary life, by dint of his leadership and courage rises to rally and unite the heretofore ineffectual dissenting powers against whatever crazed adversaries are out to blow up the region, earth, mankind, or whatever.

Good luck with the project.

[ArodJohns]

Since you're casting the story in the future, you might have the U. N., or some successor body, decide in a fit of semi-rational thinking to have the region become a mandate of the big powers, which, as always, have internal disagreements about goals, war-fighting, political agendae, etc. Your protagonist could be one of the American contingent, who, lowly by birth and rank, and defeated in ordinary life, by dint of his leadership and courage rises to rally and unite the heretofore ineffectual dissenting powers against whatever crazed adversaries are out to blow up the region, earth, mankind, or whatever.

Good luck with the project.

That's more or less the jist. I was going to write in a couple corrupt members who were trying to "take over" the region.

That's another question that arose. If I write a completely and 100% fictional part about a UN ambassador being killed, would it be illegal?

[silentpoet]

They made a movie about George Bush being killed, so writing about some fictional UN official should be no problem.

[bubllehead]

dito the catastrophe. Israel would have something to say about being taken over if they still exist so you have to destroy them 1st.

[Scarecrow28]

Sound intrigueing. Like everyone's already said, just start getting the ideas down on paper and go from their.