Little Johnny Is At It Again [Archive] - Glock Talk

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Glockrunner
05-30-2002, 00:57
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.

She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

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A Sunday school teacher of preschoolers asked the students to learned one fact about Jesus by the following Sunday.

The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.

Susie said, "He was born in a manger."

Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple."

Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it."

Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?"

"From my Daddy," said Johnny. "Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, 'Jesus Christ! Why don't you learn how to drive?'"

AC37
05-30-2002, 20:26
I love little Johnny jokes!!! ;f ;a

MB-G26
05-30-2002, 21:42
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of
children while they drew. She would occasionally walk
around to see each child's artwork.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently,
she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm
drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "but no one
knows what God looks like. "Without missing a beat, or
looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in
a minute."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments
with her 5 and 6 year-olds. After explaining the
commandment "Honor thy Father and thy mother," she asked,
"Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one
little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An honest 7-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that
Billy Brown had kissed her after class. "How did that
happen?," gasped her mother. "It wasn't easy," admitted the
young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother
do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed
that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking
out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looked at her
mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs
white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something
wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns
white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a
while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's
hairs are white?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A 3-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens.
On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that
there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. "How did
you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and
looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on
the bottom."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was
trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group
picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when
you are all grown up and say: "There's Jennifer; she's a
lawyer, or That's Michael. He's a doctor." A small voice
at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher.
She's dead".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the
blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now,
boys, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would
run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am
standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood
doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "'Cause
yer feet ain't empty."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said,
"If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."
A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will
that help?"

m