"Politically Correct Statements for the New Century" [Archive] - Glock Talk


View Full Version : "Politically Correct Statements for the New Century"

05-30-2002, 21:37
*Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

*Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

*You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

*You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

*No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically enhanced."

*You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."

*You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."

*It's not called gossip anymore. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."


*The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."

*No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

*You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."

*These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."

*Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

*Your homework isn't missing, it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

*You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

*You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

*You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

*You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."
Via Langalist, from the Internet At Large......