Redneck Home Security System [Archive] - Glock Talk

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goldenlight
03-11-2008, 20:45
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's work boots, used, size 14-16. $6.00
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine. Magazine - $5.00
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine. $8.00
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim: I went for more shotgun shells and to pick my check up from the slaughterhouse. I should be back in an hour or less.

Don't mess with the Pit Bulls--don't know what got into them, but they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

Better wait out here on the porch.

Cooter