Your Momma's So Fat [Archive] - Glock Talk


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03-17-2008, 20:54

well, I can't think of any new ones. :frown:

03-17-2008, 21:37
that she has to wear a watch on each arm, one for each time zone.


03-17-2008, 22:01
NASA plans to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer :supergrin:

03-17-2008, 22:57
She has her own zip code...

03-18-2008, 00:17
she woke up on the beach and little kids were using her bellybutton as a wading pool...

she has to get all her clothes made at 'AAA Tent Awning'...

they made sails for a fleet of ships from a pair of her panties...

when she stepped on a talking scale at the drugstore, it said "one at a time, please"...

she works weekends as an extra screen at the local drive in theater. She wears a white shirt and they and show the movies on her back....


03-18-2008, 13:32
my dog bit her and died of high cholesterol.

she went walking in high heels and came back with flip flops.

when she went to KFC and the waitress asked her what size bucket she wanted she said the one on the roof.

when she jumped in a lake the kids YELLED FREE WILLE...


Danny Reid
03-18-2008, 14:52
she looks at the menu in the restaurant and says 'OKAY'...

elephants in the zoo throw HER peanuts...

03-18-2008, 15:41
when she puts on a red shirt all the kids yell HEY ITS THE KOOL AID MAN!!!!!

i've got plenty :D

03-18-2008, 18:06
Yo momma so fat she sweats cooking oil

the last time she saw the numbers 90210 she was looking at the scale!

The Highway Patrol made her wear ''Caution! Wide Turns Flashers!''

You'll get your ass kicked trying to get a gun out of the
ankle holster. :whistling:

03-20-2008, 20:31
When she put on a black dress, she looked like outer space!

Cody Jarrett
03-24-2008, 09:25
when she wears spike heeled shoes, she hits oil!

when they checked her cholesterol they found cheesecake!

when she backs-up she beeps!

after screwing her you roll over twice and you're still on her!

when she sits around the house, she really sits around the house!

when she danced the band skipped!

03-24-2008, 19:37

03-30-2008, 17:29
Yo momma so fat, when she fell down and broke her leg, gravy oozed out.

03-30-2008, 17:41
elephants in the zoo throw HER peanuts...


03-30-2008, 19:46
She's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

03-30-2008, 20:53
Your momma's so fat, she stepped on a cat's tail... and it died.

04-01-2008, 13:14
Yo mamma's so fat she got to have a bathroom scale for each foot

04-01-2008, 17:20
You're momma's so fat, she got on a scale, and it said "one person at a time, please."

04-02-2008, 11:36
Yo momma's so fat, ALL her relationships are long distance!

Yo momma's so fat, to have sex, you have to slap her thigh and ride the wave in!

Yo momma's so fat, she affects the tides when she's at the beach!

04-02-2008, 16:56
Your momma's so ugly, that when she was born, the doctor slapped her father.

04-03-2008, 19:13
Your momma's so fat:
She has to make two trips to haul *****.

04-04-2008, 04:02
Yo' mamma's so fat when god said "let there be light" he told her to move out of the way.

Yo' mamma's so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone.

Yo' mamma smells so bad she made Speedstick stop.

Yo' mamma's so nasty the dog threw watchin her eat.

Yo' mamma's so ugly she has to sneak up on a plate of food to get anything to eat.

Yo' mamma's so fat every time she turns around, it IS Christmas.

Yo' mamma's so fat she got more rolls than a bakery!

Yo' mamma's so stupid she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Yo' mamma's so old, when she farts, dust comes out.

Yo' mamma's so stupid she sold her car for gas money.

Yo' mamma's so poor she got so many holes in her underwear when she farts it whistles.

Yo' mamma's so poor when I walked in the front door I fell out the back.

Yo' mamma's so poor she can't afford an imagination.

04-04-2008, 11:19
Your momma's so ugly, her dad had to tie a T-bone around her neck, to get the dog to play with her.

Your momma's so poor... that one day when I went to your momma's house I saw a lit cigarette on the floor and I stepped on it, to put it out. Suddenly, a cockroach comes out from under the couch and screams "Who turned off the heat?" (is that really a roach joke?)

Your momma eats kitty litter.