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jtm62
04-19-2008, 18:45
Hi Folks,

I do a lot of writing in my free time... mostly poetry and essays. However, lately I have been more interested in short stories and novels. I have begun to outline a novel, and when blockage occurs there, I work on my free written short story.

However, when handling conversation I run into issues... When is it safe or proper to narrate a conversation...

For example:


“I’m not sure Sand, I hope so, but we’ll see how my shoulder and knee hold up. Coach wants me to take it easy for a while, no contact at practice, he says I like it too much,” he said laughing.

His freshmen sister responded, “You do Joe, it is scary watching you play sometimes. You run through people on offense, and read defenses like its nobodies business!”

Joe was impressed, his sister had become a student of the game once she realized that her brother was special, “Thanks Sandy, that means a lot to me.”

“Anytime brother. You better hurry; we are going to be late!”

“Calm down we still have 12 minutes, plenty of time, you just want to see Adam after a long summer break, I know you”

“So what, it has been three months,” she replied, blushing.


The dialog is broken up by narrations... between two people, is it really necessary? I feel I have to many useless words that take away from the conversation. Any advice or personal rules of thumb pertaining to how you handle dialog?

Thanks,

Josh

Scarecrow28
04-20-2008, 07:44
It doesn't flow well, but if you think that the narration is pertanent to the story, just keep it. Otherwise you can probably delete it. You should rework it and play with your style of dialogue writing until you feel satisfied. I've been writing for several years, so I've gotten accustomed to modifying dialogue to still include narrations.

jtm62
04-20-2008, 07:59
It doesn't flow well, but if you think that the narration is pertanent to the story, just keep it. Otherwise you can probably delete it. You should rework it and play with your style of dialogue writing until you feel satisfied. I've been writing for several years, so I've gotten accustomed to modifying dialogue to still include narrations.

See, this is a conversation early in the book, like first three pages... I'm still not sure how I am going to reveal some of this information to the reader. This narration between banter may be the only way... If I can find a smoother more fluent way to introduce the information later in the chapter I will remove these narrations.

Like you, I also do not like how it interrupts the flow of the conversation. I guess I will see as I continue to write this.

Thanks!

Scarecrow28
04-20-2008, 08:56
No problem. Its alway nice to help out a fellow writer. Make sure to come around this part of the forum more often; we need more active participants!