Rooster Rugburn
06-24-2002, 08:00
So you Yankees can laugh with us, not at us.
Dear Consumers:
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding its' commands. The Southern Edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: "WINDERS 98" with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of H***ard screen-saver.
Please also note:
"The "Recycle Bin" is labeled "Outhouse"
"My Computer" is called "This Dern Contraption"
"Dial up Networking" is called "Good Ol' Boys"
"Control Panel" is known as the "The Dashboard"
"Hard Drive" is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
"Floppies" are "them little ol' plastic disc thangs"
Instead of an "error message" a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up.
CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION:
OK . . . . . . . . . .ats aw-right
Cancel . . . . . . .. stop dat
Reset . . . . . . . . .try er agin
Yes . . . . . . . . . .yep
No . . . . . . . . . . nope
Find . . . . . . . . . hunt fer it
Go to. . . . . . . . . over yonder
Back . . . . . . . . . back yonder
Help . . . . . . . . . . hep me out here
Stop . . . . . . . . . kwit it
Start . . . . . . . . . crank 'er up
Settings . . . . . . . settins
Programs . . . . . . stuff at duz stuff
Documents . . . . . stuff ah done did
Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital
letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are
exclusive to "Winders 98":
Tiperiter . . . . . . . . . a word processing program
colerin book . . . . . . . a graphics program
cyferin mersheen . . . . . calculator
outhouse paper . . . . . . notepad
iner-net . . . . . . . . . . Microsoft Explorer 4.0
pichers . . . . . . . . . . A graphics viewer
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you
received a copy of the SOUTHERN EDITION. You may return it
to Microsoft for a replacement version. I hope this helps
all y'all!
Sincerely,
Billy Bob Gates
Dear Consumers:
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding its' commands. The Southern Edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: "WINDERS 98" with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of H***ard screen-saver.
Please also note:
"The "Recycle Bin" is labeled "Outhouse"
"My Computer" is called "This Dern Contraption"
"Dial up Networking" is called "Good Ol' Boys"
"Control Panel" is known as the "The Dashboard"
"Hard Drive" is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
"Floppies" are "them little ol' plastic disc thangs"
Instead of an "error message" a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up.
CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION:
OK . . . . . . . . . .ats aw-right
Cancel . . . . . . .. stop dat
Reset . . . . . . . . .try er agin
Yes . . . . . . . . . .yep
No . . . . . . . . . . nope
Find . . . . . . . . . hunt fer it
Go to. . . . . . . . . over yonder
Back . . . . . . . . . back yonder
Help . . . . . . . . . . hep me out here
Stop . . . . . . . . . kwit it
Start . . . . . . . . . crank 'er up
Settings . . . . . . . settins
Programs . . . . . . stuff at duz stuff
Documents . . . . . stuff ah done did
Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital
letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are
exclusive to "Winders 98":
Tiperiter . . . . . . . . . a word processing program
colerin book . . . . . . . a graphics program
cyferin mersheen . . . . . calculator
outhouse paper . . . . . . notepad
iner-net . . . . . . . . . . Microsoft Explorer 4.0
pichers . . . . . . . . . . A graphics viewer
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you
received a copy of the SOUTHERN EDITION. You may return it
to Microsoft for a replacement version. I hope this helps
all y'all!
Sincerely,
Billy Bob Gates