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ReyFufuRulesAll
06-10-2008, 13:38
http://vpcblog.wordpress.com/2008/03/01/mauser-broomhandle-first-assault-pistol-ever/

Mauser Broomhandle: First Assault Pistol Ever

Posted by vpcadmin on March 1, 2008

In the year 1896, Winston Churchill invented the Mauser C96 in order to crush natives with greater efficiency. The nickname “Broomhandle” refers to the devastating wounds it produces. “[The] bullet… can be called a missile,” a book once said in an unrelated exposition. It fed from a ten or twenty rounds magazine and recharged using deadly stripper clips. Later, even more deadly detachable magazines were used.

It served as the inspiration for all other assault pistols, such as the MAC-10, TEC-9, and Glock. As we all know, the deadly secret of assault pistols is that their magazine is inserted in front of the trigger. The reason for this deadliness is that bullets gain extra power from the position of the magazine. Plus, a murderer could hold onto the magazine using his free hand, producing deadly firing stability.

An even more deadly advancement came in the 1930s, when it was modified to be a “machine pistol,” rapidly spraying bullets with a single press of the trigger. This is not to be confused with the even more deadly semi-automatic version, which is just as even more deadly as the full-automatic version. Both definitely are bullet hoses, despite what the Gun Blobbers say.

In 1977, this assault weapon found its way into the hit movie Star Wars. This was a propaganda coup for the Gun Blobby, indoctrinating a whole generation of children into desiring these deadly weapons. In this absurd and violent story, the fictional character Han Solo savagely murdered Greedo, a law enforcement officer, with this weapon. NRA-shill George Lucas tried to make it look like “self-defense” in his “special edition” version of Star Wars. But the VPC was able to put a stop to that with our “Han Shot First” campaign.

To honor his memory and prevent further tragedies, please make donations to VPC.org. In the future, the Brady Campaign will work with us to pass “Greedo’s Law” to protect police officers. Together, we will take these military weapons off the street!

And, kids, remember what Obi-Wan said: “Blasters [guns] are uncivilized.”

dniles
06-10-2008, 13:43
I'm not sure where to even start...wow.

blankley
06-10-2008, 13:50
That site is satire... Right?

cphilip
06-10-2008, 13:51
.... please make donations to VPC.org.....:upeyes:

epsylum
06-10-2008, 13:58
That HAS to be a joke. Nobody, I don't even think Sarah Brady is that stupid.

At least they used "magazine" and "clips" correctly (which is actually why I think it was a joke written by a gun person). :supergrin:

AJ Dual
06-10-2008, 14:00
That site is satire... Right?

Yes.

VPC let their blog expire there, and someone jumped on it, making fun of VPC with the Star Wars parody, and the use of a Mauser Broomhandle as Han Solo's blaster. And then the subsequent "Han Shot First!" internet/T-shirt campaign where fans expressed their displeasure at Lucas re-editing the original trilogy etc.

Whoever it is, is doing a good job of making it so the parody isn't 100% obvious unless taken in it's totaltiy.

I think only a dyed-in-the-wool gunnie would know or care to find all that Broomhandle Mauser trivia. :supergrin:

blankley
06-10-2008, 14:09
Yes.

VPC let their blog expire there, and someone jumped on it, making fun of VPC with the Star Wars parody, and the use of a Mauser Broomhandle as Han Solo's blaster. And then the subsequent "Han Shot First!" internet/T-shirt campaign where fans expressed their displeasure at Lucas re-editing the original trilogy etc.

Whoever it is, is doing a good job of making it so the parody isn't 100% obvious unless taken in it's totaltiy.

I think only a dyed-in-the-wool gunnie would know or care to find all that Broomhandle Mauser trivia. :supergrin:

Thank God. Man, it's a sad state of affairs when you have to think twice about something like that.

eddief4
06-10-2008, 14:26
WOW:wow:

Coldcases
06-10-2008, 14:47
Stay in one-on-one therapy and have the doc increase your meds.

Doc

zulu45
06-10-2008, 15:41
I'm having trouble stopping my laughter; copied and pasted!

ReyFufuRulesAll
06-10-2008, 16:54
Thank God. Man, it's a sad state of affairs when you have to think twice about something like that.
+1 :faint:

50 cal
06-10-2008, 16:57
Some bonehead will read it and take it as gospel. Most likely a doofus over on Democratic Underground.



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