Actual GOP Convention Agenda

[Mass10mm]

And now, in friendly reply to the GOP version of the DNC conference agenda, we have here the proposed agenda for the GOP Convention.

7:00 P.M. Opening rant about late-night liberal media news reports hosted by Pat Buchanan
7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to NRA and opening speech - Charlton Heston
7:30 P.M. Proposal for a Fundraiser - Jack Abramoff
7:35 P.M. Church and State Unification prayer and worship hosted by Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson
8:00 P.M. Proposal for a Fundraiser - Jack Abramoff
8:05 P.M. Ask-a-page to breakfast program - Mark Foley
8:15 P.M. Evangelical Crystal Meth Toast - Ted Haggard
8:30 P.M. Women in Politics Tea and Book Club with Phyllis Schlafly and a reading of "Sisters" by Lynne Cheney
8:35 P.M. Find Saddam's weapons of mass destruction rally - Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney
9:00 P.M. Keynote speech: "Gerrymandering, The Good Ol' Days" - Tom DeLay
9:15 P.M. Proposal for a Fundraiser - Jack Abramoff
9:20 P.M. Dept. of State collection to send a Saudi Prince to college fund - Condoleeza Rice
9:30 P.M. "How to not to appear like a crazy former Senator" - Zell Miller
9:40 P.M. "Why I love the military lobbyists" - Randy "Duke" Cunningham, inmate no. 8765432
9:45 P.M. Republican Outplacement Forum hosted by Rick Santorum, Jim Talent, Mike Dewine, Lincoln Chafee, and Conrad Burns
9:50 P.M. Presentation of Truth in Drug-Free Broadcasting Award to Rush Limbaugh - Anne Coulter
9:55 P.M. "Plausible Deniability - The Art of the Cover-up" - Scooter Libby
10:00 P.M. "How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld were Right about Iraq" - George Allen
10:30 P.M. Nomination of Jeb Bush for President; "It's his turn!" - Barbara Bush
11:00 P.M. "How to Always Carry a Big Stick! - The Power of the Pharmaceutical Industry Lobbyist" - Bob Dole; sponsored by Pfizer
11:05 P.M. "Eliminating the Dept. of Education and National Spelling Bee" - Dan "Potatoe" Quayle
11:15 P.M. Proposal to change presidential eligibility rules - Arnold Schwarzenegger
11:30 P.M. Coronation of Arnold Schwarzenegger as write-in candidate - Karl Rove
12:00 A.M. "How to Succeed in Government Without Really Trying" - Michael Brown; sponsored by FEMA and the Arabian Horse Federation
12:05 A.M. Jack Abramoff drives some former members of Congress back to prison

[major]

Touche! lol........that one is pretty funny also.

[Ballistic40]

where was the proposed DNC agenda link

[Mrs. Tink]

7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to NRA and opening speech - Charlton Heston


I knew that the GOP was all-powerful, but bringing back Heston from the dead? :faint: :supergrin: