Got me a new gun.....and my wife is leaveing me!

[iron medic]

Yeah, talk about bitter sweet. I got a new Kel-Tec P3AT on saturday, and last night my wife tells me she is leaving me.:faint: So, now we are trying to talk things out, she wants to try seperating for a while and see what happens. So, now I have our 3 kids (twin 4yo, and a 2yo) that I drop off at my moms in the morn she takes the twins to preschool. I go to work (self empolyed) and then pick them up. We got married young (me 19 her 18) first kids young (me 21 her 20). Dated 3 years before married, and now married 6 years. For the last 3 months she has been texting a "buddy" of mine 60-70 times a day, talking 2-3 hrs a day. She told me she did not love me when we got married and that if it was not for her dad saying that she made it this far (doors leading in the auditorium of the church) she was going to go the rest of the way, she would not have done it. She "had to learn to love me". And even told me that she changed herself to meet what she thought I wanted. So basically I fell in love with a facade she put on. So.....now what? I am not saying it is all her fault, I have not been very emotinally conncted lately, and communication sucks. I did not realize that until here recently cause she always told me everything was ok. I am lost as lost can be. And dont know who to talk to, so I turned to GT.

Thanks for listening to my sob story.
:drowning::brickwall:

[silentpoet]

I am sorry. All I can really offer is prayers for you.

[ATL Peach Girl]

damn......is it just me, or are alot of GT marriages ending these days???

Just damn.

Iron Medic.......see Ken's thread running right now. He is going through the same thing, I am sad for you guys. :(

[tbhracing]

What is this? 3 for 3 divorce stories?

[Woofie]

Congratulations on the new gun!

[chadster1]

There must be something in the water. Seems like every day someone is posting something llike this.

[Glock 19 God]

Find a lawyer and get papers drawn. Do it first. And do not look back.

[*ASH*]

damn is something in the water here at GT ?? seems to be alot of this going on . i have been there done that bro and all i can is is get lawyer protect yourself and read the other thread here about fast eddie in the dude tried to kiss my wife thread.


you say guy she texting is your buddy ???? then it would be it's on cuzzzzzz!!!!!!

[tbhracing]

it's on cuzzzzzz!!!!!!

Cracks me up everytime. :rofl:

You forgot this guy...
http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r145/boukca/Cat-itsoncuz.jpg

[rhikdavis]

damn is something in the water here at GT ?? seems to be alot of this going on . i have been there done that bro and all i can is is get lawyer protect yourself and read the other thread here about fast eddie in the dude tried to kiss my wife thread.


you say guy she texting is your buddy ???? then it would be it's on cuzzzzzz!!!!!!


I just PM'd swanny, he'll be over here to rip you a new one in a minute.

[huskerbuttons]

Obviously that guy is not your buddy.

[23skidoo]

i too am sorry to hear of your troubles. Sounds like it is time to lawyer up.

[fnfalman]

I don't know much about women but I do know that when they say that they DON'T LOVE YOU, they usually mean it with all their heart.

Time to cut the losses and move on.

[cmwhitt]

Did she start wearing thong underwear all of a sudden?

[*ASH*]

I just PM'd swanny, he'll be over here to rip you a new one in a minute.

ole swannie yeah he likes to stalk me :rofl::rofl: :wavey: he is one of my best friends in real life. i love him . even thou he is on the poo poo side of things

[SouthernGal]

What is this? 3 for 3 divorce stories?

Yes. I believe it is.

[tarpleyg]

Focus on your kids now...that's your new job. Sorry to hear about all this. We all say that it can never happen to us and I'll bet you were the same way up until yesterday.

Greg

[INJoker]

Go read my posts in that other messy divorce/wife+buddy thread.

Spare yourself the trouble. Get out now, let her bang your buddy for a while and ten years from now you will probably be better off and she will STILL not be happy.

[*ASH*]

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e332/KK_Koala/cuz2.jpg

[okie]

That's a big bite of a crap sandwich Iron. I've never been married and I've never stayed at a Holiday Inn, so I don't know what to do. I reckon seek Council and see what they say. I hope all works out for ya Mate.:crying::sadangel:

[6F0 Nick]

I know that it can be hard to be blindsided after a lot of "I am OK"s and "I am happy"s. It is also hard when someone else rides their entire happiness on another person.
Good luck either way it goes bud.

[NickC50310]

Congrats on getting a new gun and getting rid of a rotten ***** for a wife! You win double today!

[rotax650]

Sorry to hear about it. I have been down that road before, sounds like pretty much the same sitiuation I was in. They tell you everything is fine and in reality it is not. I know I really give up when it happened to me. Luckily we didn't have any kids. We went through a pretty nasty divorce and I was left having to pay for alot of things that she should of had to pay. I will tell you to get a good lawyer and don't settle for what she wants. Always keep your kids at first thought and your soon to be ex far away. Like someone else said, when a woman says that they are not happy and don't love you anymore. They truly mean it. There is no reason to stay around to try and work things out.

Yeah and some buddy that is. But hey atleast you got a new gun....

[dango]

Congrats on the new gun,bummer about your personal problem.I can`t really give any good advice.I`ts amazeing how little control we have over things when other people are involved.Cry,get mad,then get tough,and never forget your children,do right by them.-LIFE GOES ON PAL.You will get through it .;)

[Just Say No]

What is it with American women these days. I my marriage ever ends I am going to central America or Asia where providing for your family is the sexiest thing you can do for a woman. Too many variables in your case but to me it does not sound fixable, I would talk to an attorney ASAP because depending on what state you are in she can tank your business.

[iron medic]

Did she start wearing thong underwear all of a sudden?

Nope always wore those :whistling:.
But she did start wearing more make up, dressing nicer (read:sexier), and wanted to go to school (cosmotoigist) to become "more independent". People were telling me something was up, but she had always said she wanted to work, so I did not think nothing of it. :dunno:

Thanks for all the good words. Now time to find a lawyer and a new friend.

[digitspaw]

damn......is it just me, or are alot of GT marriages ending these days???

Just damn.

Iron Medic.......see Ken's thread running right now. He is going through the same thing, I am sad for you guys. :(


On the other hand, we have some recent GT marriages with another one due in a few days or so.:supergrin:

[Agent6-3/8]

Sounds like the relatioship was doomed from the start. I always feel sorry for the kids, as they are the real losers in these situations.

[Just Say No]

Nope always wore those :whistling:.
But she did start wearing more make up, dressing nicer (read:sexier), and wanted to go to school (cosmotoigist) to become "more independent". People were telling me something was up, but she had always said she wanted to work, so I did not think nothing of it. :dunno:

Thanks for all the good words. Now time to find a lawyer and a new friend.

Thats not good, my wife wears thongs, is going to cosmo school and just got a job to be more "independent." BTW, I paid 16k for her school, so tell her to have fun paying that by herself.

[Norman]

There must be something in the water. Seems like every day someone is posting something llike this.

Sigh. Wonder who tomorrow will be.

[digitspaw]

Is she by any chance "clumsy and careless" while cleaning firearms?:whistling:

[DoubleDog]

Sorry to hear of your troubles...

DD~

[Rooster Rugburn]

I am sorry to be the one to tell you this, if it hasn't already been posted. If she is not doing this other guy now, she will be by the end of the week. Get your mind right, get her behind you ASAP.

It is highly improper for a married woman to be talking and texting a guy that much. Where there is smoke, there is usually fire.

Don't look back, don't try to change her mind, don't try to reconcile. It's over and it's over NOW!! The sooner you get acclimated to that, the better off you'll be. We've all been there.

She will never be worthy of your trust from this day forward. It's over for good, and don't try to think it being anything but over.

Get your guns and finances in line for a divorce, and try to get copies of her cell phone bill with all that activity to him.


Sorry Dude.

[Sam White]

Sorry to hear the news. Make sure your lawyer protects your rights with your children and make sure to be the one who takes the high road with them.

[lee2]

time to kick her to the curb.
there can be no resolution to your relationship now. move on.
be forewarned, that she will use your kids as a weapon against you. be prepared my brother!
good luck.:cool:

[xsiv4s]

Are you suggesting the two are related? If so, Kel Tec sales could skyrocket.

[bocephus549]

That's a big bite of a crap sandwich Iron. I've never been married and I've never stayed at a Holiday Inn, so I don't know what to do. I reckon seek Council and see what they say. I hope all works out for ya Mate.:crying::sadangel:

Okie have you been to Australia lately? Whats with this Mate stuff lately?:supergrin: Oh and to the original poster I feel for ya Man but this will pass and life will once again be good.

[cmwhitt]

Are you suggesting the two are related? If so, Kel Tec sales could skyrocket.


/thread

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Well played, sir.

[bcvojak]

The only thing the two of you should be doing now, is figuring out how to go your separate ways, while causing the LEAST trauma to the kids. I have a 4 year old (almost 5) and there is no way that she could choose between Mommy and Daddy. Either way would cause her great pain. So what ever happens, make sure that both of you can remain in their lives.

The one exception would be if your wife said something like " You take the brats. . I don't want them". In that case they would be better of without her. But I haven't seen anything in your posting to indicate that type of situation.

[skeeter1959]

Well, I am sorry for your pain. Your wife is cheating on you! Maybe not sexually but emotionally for sure. Nothing worse than a cheating spouse. I would call your "buddy" and ask him he likes hospital food, cuz that's where he's heading to.

Your wife has check out of the marriage long ago. Too bad about the kiddos but kids are resilliant. Don't force yourself to stay in a bad marriage. She's already stated that she did not or does not love you. This is woman speak for "I found someone else". You're just a meal ticket. Sorry to be blunt.

The trial seperation is just a way for her to hook up with guys. Trust me on this one! There is no shame in getting a divorce, but cheating on your spouse is unforgivable in my book. :steamed:

I would recommend you do the following as I speak from experience:

1. See a lawyer, NOW
2. Get checked for STD's
3. I would even get my kids paternity tested (that's just me)

When I was going through this same thing I was in a new town with no friends. I found survivinginfidelity.com by accident and the support from those folks helped me a lot.

I am sorry that you are going through this and know that it will get worse before it gets better. In the end you will be a much happier person.

[Turbodreams]

damn is something in the water here at GT ?? seems to be alot of this going on . i have been there done that bro and all i can is is get lawyer protect yourself and read the other thread here about fast eddie in the dude tried to kiss my wife thread.


you say guy she texting is your buddy ???? then it would be it's on cuzzzzzz!!!!!!

:upeyes:

[hill billy]

So she told you her dad made her get to the doors of the auditorium, and you went through with the ceremony six years ago? I feel your pain but what other signs did you need at the time? I hope it works out for the kids one way or the other, why people always have to make them the victims of their stupid decisions, your soon to be ex's that is.

[slathrum]

Might not be a bad idea to hire a PI and file first on grounds of infidelity.

[Coldcases]

Sorry to hear of your painful problems, been there, done that. Its amazing how a person can turn so vindictive going through a divorce. Screw this "trial seperation", let her go forever. A quick clean break is best for everyone.

God Bless

Doc

Try and find some female companionship, or several for that matter. Try to stay "just friends" with them, and forget the dude she is seeing-if it wasn't him it would be someone else.

[fireguy129]

we'll round up the man posse from the other thread and throw a beating on this guy on our way back from Eddie.

Sorry man, that really does suck.

[josh10002]

Trust me, this is a blessing in disguise. She has taken the low road, so you must stick with the high road. The grass is always greener on the other side and I'm sure she'll be crawling back to you one day. However, you shouldn't take her back.

If I were you, I would take a break and enjoy life and spend quality time with your children. You'll find a newer, better woman and your children will respect you. They won't respect her. It is much easier for men to move on after a divorce no matter what the circumstances. Time will heal all wounds.

I suspect your ex-wife will be single for the rest of her life. Your "buddy" probably won't want the commitment and there will be no more "excitement" of dating a married woman. If you don't seem to care about losing her, he will probably lose interest too.

Don't let her suck you into any emotional games. She made her bed and needs to sleep in it. You are the real winner here.

Finally, from a legal standpoint you are golden. If she left you for another man, you should get custody of the kids and not have to pay alimony.

Good luck!

[Jason D]

Sorry about your troubles.

[jhoagland]

A tough one for sure. I am not going to post any quick witty reply on this because I am seeing something else here.

I would have a real heart to heart talk with her and go back to the beginning. I'm not saying this will change the direction things are heading but, it may give the both of you something valuable to carry forward into other relationships.

Ask her why in the world she couldn't tell you the truth so long ago? Is it your fault that she is the one who chose to live a lie? Her lie. Why didn't she think she could be herself? Does she think that you are so shallow that you wouldn't love her for being her? It seems so, so ask her why was she so scared that she couldn't take a chance and tell you the truth.

Do you love her enough to hear what she has to say? Does she love you at all in the least little bit...ever? Ask her what she NEEDS. Tell her what you NEED. I see the biggest thing gone wrong here is communication. That is a WHOLE LOT of stuff to flush away. Ask yourself this..Do you care if you stay together or not. Then the both of you need to ask your selves what will this do to the kids. In my opinion, the kids supersede any foolishness and stupidity you guys have and are committing now. I have seen the results of divorce kids and it ain't pretty.

My wife and I have gone through hell and high water together and have come very close to splitting up. I've never posted about it because it's our business and nobody else. We keep coming back to three things.

We loved each other in the first place.
Nothing worth having comes easy, you have to WORK at it!!
We made a commitment to God as well as each other.

If you have a Bible that is falling apart you will have a marriage that is not. That is the single most important truth that anyone has or will ever tell you. I don't care what any other slob comes along and tells you otherwise.

See a Christian counsellor

Also, don't be a chump and get a lawyer too in case things do not work out.

I wish the very best for you.

[BigChuck73]

Congratulations on the new gun!

Am I the only that died laughing on this? LOL!

[BigChuck73]

I'm WAY too insecure to ever have take a woman back, or try to work it out once they told me it's over. I'm like a light switch or something.... I have the ability to care for someone so much- and then 5 minutes later they can destroy me and I'll never give them the time of day again.

[FastDraw McGraw]

Showing my age but what exactly are thong underwear???????:yawn:

[*ASH*]

Showing my age but what exactly are thong underwear???????:yawn:

strings lol :rofl:

[hiram2005p0]

I'm WAY too insecure to ever have take a woman back, or try to work it out once they told me it's over. I'm like a light switch or something.... I have the ability to care for someone so much- and then 5 minutes later they can destroy me and I'll never give them the time of day again. Exactly the way I feel. People that do me like that, I have no hate for them. I call them non-persons. They no longer exist because I have no feelings for them. Hate is a feeling the same as love. No hate, no love , no feelings.....non-person.

[clipper100]

First of all... A wife is NOT a blood relative.

If she doesn't love anymore... 'Good ridance' ... take care of guns and blood-relatives..

Wives are a dime-a-dozen.

[Malkuth]

Not to worry, but all guys that have got screwed in marriages IE lost everything starts out with

"I just want to separate awhile"

What that means is that I don't want to feel so bad when I'm sleeping with the guy that you don't know about.

Sorry but I would find out whats going on, if you want to do it discreetly you can find ways... But that line is the line of death.

[Targettarget]

Congratulations on the new gun!

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[andybob]

Man, I really don't know what to say but I hope it all works out for you in the end. Over the summer I worked with a guy whose wife left him and their 2 kids. They are still apart after many months and nothing has changed. All I have to say is be true to yourself. If you really don't see it working out you have to take the correct action. Good Luck to ya,



Andybob

[Tx-G30]

What is joy?
It is a bird that we all want to catch.
It is the same bird
that we all love to see flying.
- Sri Chinmoy

[mr00jimbo]

Sorry to hear! Hopefully she doesn't try and take much in the divorce.
If the glove doesn't fit...
jk haha

[blackbmw]

Is she by any chance "clumsy and careless" while cleaning firearms?:whistling:


:rofl::rofl: "She told me she put the safety on when she was playing with my glock 20!!!"

[Aurora]

Exactly the way I feel. People that do me like that, I have no hate for them. I call them non-persons. They no longer exist because I have no feelings for them. Hate is a feeling the same as love. No hate, no love , no feelings.....non-person.

Apathy is the true opposite of love.

V.

[MyBabyDaddy]

damn......is it just me, or are alot of GT marriages ending these days???

Just damn.
:(

Its in the water.

[cowboywannabe]

so you got a new gun and she got a new man?

sounds out of the blue to not have somebody warming up in the bull pen.

[Squished]

Yikes! Another one! With an economy like this it's not cost effective to get divorced!

Hope it all works out.....sorry about the mess you have ahead of you.

[cllrtr]

So sorry for you sir. Hope it works out well for all of you.

[IxR6]

iron medic, I feel your pain. Your "buddy" isn't named Eddie is he? :whistling:

[3rdgen40]

Look on the bright side, you just got a new gun ! :supergrin:

[Steve0853]

Everyone here has covered it pretty well, so I won't repeat. But one thing I will add.....

Don't beat yourself up over the "not emotionally connected" BS.....That's just a catchall for..."I don't care about you anyone and want to run around and bang some other guys"....

I love my wife, she loves me. We've been together many, many years, but if she wanted to leave me tomorrow, I'm sure there's a dozen psycho babble reasons that would perfectly justify it, and all of them pure crap. I've been a good husband and I know it.

[longgonedays]

Congratulations on the new gun!

and the new freedom from that happiness sucking vampire. No offense, I know you still care about her. But one day you won't, other than her being your baby momma.

[odesskiy]

Al those soon-to-be newlyweds need to read these threads to see what the future holds for them...

On the other hand, we have some recent GT marriages with another one due in a few days or so.:supergrin:

[odesskiy]

It's ALWAYS cost-effective to get divorced. No matter how expensive it ends up being, it's worth it.

Yikes! Another one! With an economy like this it's not cost effective to get divorced!

Hope it all works out.....sorry about the mess you have ahead of you.

[Bowtie]

If you dont keep your women happy Someone else will.

[RHVEtte]

Trust me, this is a blessing in disguise. She has taken the low road, so you must stick with the high road. The grass is always greener on the other side and I'm sure she'll be crawling back to you one day. However, you shouldn't take her back.

If I were you, I would take a break and enjoy life and spend quality time with your children. You'll find a newer, better woman and your children will respect you. They won't respect her. It is much easier for men to move on after a divorce no matter what the circumstances. Time will heal all wounds.

I suspect your ex-wife will be single for the rest of her life. Your "buddy" probably won't want the commitment and there will be no more "excitement" of dating a married woman. If you don't seem to care about losing her, he will probably lose interest too.

Don't let her suck you into any emotional games. She made her bed and needs to sleep in it. You are the real winner here.

Finally, from a legal standpoint you are golden. If she left you for another man, you should get custody of the kids and not have to pay alimony.

Good luck!

Here's something to think about, too, if you're feeling a little vindictive. Once she's cheated on you, she'll never be able to have a lasting relationship, especially not with your "friend." There's that annoying little thought in the back of every guy's head, "If she cheated on him, why wouldn't she cheat on me?" Kind of kills the whole romance factor, don't it?

I remember there was a real popular girl in high school. Every guy wanted to date her. Well, except me, but I've got the best crazy-radar in a 20 mile radius (hint: The Gore, Kerry stickers helped.) Anyhow, back to the story, she was dating the center (I think) for the basketball team, but cheated on him. About three seconds after that little gem slipped out, she became just about the least popular girl in school. Proof of concept: After a while in this new low position, she asked me out (here's where that radar comes in.) I mysteriously had an instant hacking cough that sounded suspiciously like mad laughter.

[KenBGlock19]

damn......is it just me, or are alot of GT marriages ending these days???

Just damn.

Iron Medic.......see Ken's thread running right now. He is going through the same thing, I am sad for you guys. :(

Yup...I just had my papers served to her today...dude, I TRULY feel your pain. I'm in a rough spot, too. Newborn baby, wife that doesn't care for me one bit.

[happy seal]

Congrats on getting a new gun and getting rid of a rotten ***** for a wife! You win double today!


Now trade in the Kel-tec and buy a G30 and go visit your so called buddy, or you just let him deal with the rotten #un#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jake Starr]

If you dont keep your women happy Someone else will.


Ding, ding, ding, ding. We have a winner. :wow::wow:

[glockophilic]

Find a lawyer and get papers drawn. Do it first. And do not look back.

do it before its too late. That is what she will be doing.

[MasonJar]

Congratulations on the new gun!



and the divorce.:supergrin:




j/k I hope things work out for you.

[eddief4]

sorry to hear bout that bro. i wish you the best of luck, and that your kids are alright through all of this:angel::wavey:

[themighty9mm]

That sux dude, sorry to hear about the bad news. But at least you got a new toy, congrats on that

[ipfreely123]

Go right now and find a VERY GOOD lawyer. Pay the extra expense for a really good one. Get as much custody as possible. document EVERYTHING.

[magnumize]

Ive been divorced for 4 years now and the divorce rate is up to 52% now I think.IMO,I believe the days of getting married and staying married til death,is a thing of the past.Its not like when grandpa and grandma got married back in the day.When people spend MORE time at work with OTHER people and less time at home,things are going to happen...Ive always thought,a marriage licenese should expire every few years and if you want to renew it you can or if you dont then let it expire.Like hunting and fishing lol...Congrats on the gun.

[byf43]

I'm sorry to hear about the problems with your wife.

The kids are the ones that will suffer.


On the lighter side, my dear old Dad used to say, "If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back, hunt them down and give them a wedgie!"

Seriously, you can't make someone love you. If your wife says that she doesn't love you, let her go.
Your first priority is your KIDS!

[4TS&W]

A Twofer!!!

Congrats!!! :)

[ScottFF00]

She fell out of love with you as soon as your buddy start sleeping with her.

Don't beleive anything else.

[williamN]

Yeah, talk about bitter sweet. I got a new Kel-Tec P3AT on saturday, and last night my wife tells me she is leaving me.:faint: So, now we are trying to talk things out, she wants to try seperating for a while and see what happens. So, now I have our 3 kids (twin 4yo, and a 2yo) that I drop off at my moms in the morn she takes the twins to preschool. I go to work (self empolyed) and then pick them up. We got married young (me 19 her 18) first kids young (me 21 her 20). Dated 3 years before married, and now married 6 years. For the last 3 months she has been texting a "buddy" of mine 60-70 times a day, talking 2-3 hrs a day. She told me she did not love me when we got married and that if it was not for her dad saying that she made it this far (doors leading in the auditorium of the church) she was going to go the rest of the way, she would not have done it. She "had to learn to love me". And even told me that she changed herself to meet what she thought I wanted. So basically I fell in love with a facade she put on. So.....now what? I am not saying it is all her fault, I have not been very emotinally conncted lately, and communication sucks. I did not realize that until here recently cause she always told me everything was ok. I am lost as lost can be. And dont know who to talk to, so I turned to GT.

Thanks for listening to my sob story.
:drowning::brickwall:


Let go and get a seperation agreement NOW. I speak from experience.

A seperation might get you back together for a year or two but you will be facing this again in the near future. End it now and move on. It sounds like she will be relieved to get out of the relationship and you can get her to agree to joint custody BUT the kids living with you.

[stevelyn]

Sorry to hear about your troubles, but I'm convinced that no one should be allowed to marry before age 30. Young folk who marry are likely divorced within 10 years or less.


First of all... A wife is NOT a blood relative.

If she doesn't love anymore... 'Good ridance' ... take care of guns and blood-relatives..

Wives are a dime-a-dozen.

And even blood-relatives can be disowned under certain circumstances.

Pewn is a replaceable commodity.

[Dean]

I've had a few wives. Four, if you count the two I didn't marry.
Your next woman is right around the bend, in many cases.
She never loved you, she says? LET HER GO.
You'll enjoy your freedom. :drillsgt:

[mike1969]

Have you taken the newgun out yet??

Sorry about the family thing though....

[Calculated]

Sucks about your wife and your "buddy"...I feel for ya. Betrayed by two people you thought you could count on!! A good marriage is a great thing but a bad one seems to be a living hell.

I'm fortunate, I have the most beautiful, loving, intelligent, caring wife on the planet. I try to tell her everyday what she means to me.

[Nicky D]

Sorry to hear about the separation and most likely divorce. Unfortunately it seems like it is the best thing for you if she truly does not love you.

[aerod1]

How is the new gun working out?