when the fight started [Archive] - Glock Talk

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okie
01-23-2009, 09:08
> One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as
> a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
>
> When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the
> gift I bought you last year!"
> And that's how the fight started.....
>
> ************************************************************************
> My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the tv?"
>
> I replied "Dust".
> And that's how the fight started.....
>
> ************************************************************************
> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
> She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel
> horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
> compliment.'
>
> The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
>
> And that's how the fight started.....
> ************************************************************************
> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
> She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3
> seconds.
> I bought her a scale.
>
> And that's how the fight started.....
>
> ************************************************************************
> I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
>
> It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
>
> 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
> So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
> And that's when the fight started....
> ************************************************************************
> My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were
> in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
> 'No,' she answered.
>
> I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
> She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
> So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
> And that's when the fight started....
> ************************************************************************
> I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
> Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer
> would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
> And that's when the fight started.....
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
> first.
>
> 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
> He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
> 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
> And that's when the fight started.....