Smokin' deal on SureFire flashlights

I was "making the rounds" of the big sporting goods retailers in my local area yesterday, and noticed one of them was running a sale (in-store signs/notification only).

So, I browsed around for a while, not really seeing anything that I had to have, and when I was done, I headed for the door. Well, the exit route took me past the SureFire flashlight display case, and lo and behold, there were some little orange sale stickers on some of the lights. Now, I've always loved SureFires, and while I've settled for owning the less expensive ones, I've always lusted in my heart for one or two of the more spendy items. However, SureFire seems to keep a pretty firm hand on their pricing structure, so the only deals I've been able to exercise in the past when buying these fine lighting tools is to use a general-purpose store coupon for a small percentage off, or something similar.

Casually, I bend over to read the microscopic print on the sale price tag, and my heart almost stops. I do a little quick math, and I realize that they are 50% off! Not every model, though; only a selected few (what I would call "slow movers") are on sale, but still, some darn nice illumination tools were sporting those little orange tags. I circled the case like a shark in bloody waters, seeking a target. There it was! A 4-cell turbo-headed beauty, the M4 Devastator! And destiny surely intended it for me, as I had a moderate wad of undesignated-for-any-specific-purpose cash in my pocket, thanks to St Nick and some gun accessory liquidations I had performed a couple of weeks ago.

I asked the nearby clerk if they had a new-in-box M4, knowing full well I'd happily settle for the display model at that price. No problem, they had one N-I-B M4 left! Oh happy day!

The giddiness was still swirling through my head as I arrived at the front of the line to pay for my purchase. The clerk scanned it, and relief washed over me when the sale price rang-up just fine. Suddenly, she noticed it had a colored sticker on the box. "What a deal!" she said, "This is also included in our additional 20% off sale today!" My lip started to quiver, and I very nearly began to weep with joy. Surely this IS a magical season after all! I paid the tab, floated to my car, and immediately tore open my prize. It would singe the hair on your arm within a few seconds of thumbing the button, and easily lit-up a dark corner of the store's parking lot over 200 yards away in the early evening light. Ecstasy!

The moral of the story: check your local sporting goods retailers regularly; you never know when something you've always wanted might go on a stupidly generous sale while you have money burning a hole in your pocket.





(Apologies in advance for anyone who takes exception to the combined references of "the magical season" and obvious crass commercialism in the same post. Yes, I know buying stuff is not "the reason for the season." It's supposed to be an amusing post, yet with a thread of reality. Grow a sense of humor!)