View Single Post
Old 04-20-2008, 07:44   #2
Scarecrow28
Writing Fanatic
 
Scarecrow28's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Unites States
Posts: 1,191
It doesn't flow well, but if you think that the narration is pertanent to the story, just keep it. Otherwise you can probably delete it. You should rework it and play with your style of dialogue writing until you feel satisfied. I've been writing for several years, so I've gotten accustomed to modifying dialogue to still include narrations.
__________________
Visit The Writer's Workshop!
Scarecrow28 is offline   Reply With Quote