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Old 04-20-2008, 07:59   #3
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Pittsburghish, PA
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Originally Posted by Scarecrow28 View Post
It doesn't flow well, but if you think that the narration is pertanent to the story, just keep it. Otherwise you can probably delete it. You should rework it and play with your style of dialogue writing until you feel satisfied. I've been writing for several years, so I've gotten accustomed to modifying dialogue to still include narrations.
See, this is a conversation early in the book, like first three pages... I'm still not sure how I am going to reveal some of this information to the reader. This narration between banter may be the only way... If I can find a smoother more fluent way to introduce the information later in the chapter I will remove these narrations.

Like you, I also do not like how it interrupts the flow of the conversation. I guess I will see as I continue to write this.

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