John, as far as the gun goes, are you trying to stay within SSP guidelines? If not, your options are greater (1911, HiPower, XD, grip-reduced Glock, etc..).
For the record...for me, the M&P, even with the small grip, had a greater LOP than a comparable Glock. It was just uncomfortable enough for me that I sold it and bought another Glock.
If the DOH didn't work for her as far as vertical drop, not sure what to suggest. We have a Gunsite Ladies holster for a G19 that you're welcome to try, if you like. Comp-Tac used to make a rig similar to the DOH, and they will do custom work if you ask.
Glad she's interested in IDPA...I can't even get my wife to come out and watch!
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Detached reflection cannot be demanded in the presence of an uplifted knife.
-Justice Oliver Wendel Holmes Brown v. United States, 1921