Once again, in my self-sacrificing manner I foind myself ready to put my considerable skills and experience to use for the good of the whole.
Summoning up my years of making such important decisions, often in the wee hours of the morning around "last call" in the give environment, I feel well qualified to to, shal we say, "evaluate" the moral character (and hopefully lack thereof) of the assistants we might want to consider for such a serious enterprise. I can assure all involved that have a fine ability to determine the suitability of an applicant in an efficient and effective manner. Often in my life this was a primary concern to me and more than once, given the time constraints mentioned above, I was only allowed the time to make one decision (or two on a good night) and it had to be the correct one. My success rate was, some would say and many did, considered "outstanding".
I offer my skills for the good.