I like the new letter as it is. (English major and 4.0 gpa here). Yes, there are typos; no, it does not look like it was written by an English professor. This is good. It shows that you are the average person, that shops at their average store; that you are making the decision that you have the right to make, and you're informing them that you're not returning is due to their own actions. They are supposed to be very interested in customer concern/apathy, so it would be interesting to see how this plays out. Please keep us posted on this.
PPQ M2, G-19, PT-140 Pro, PT-111 Pro, Core-15