OK, take her to see Viggo Mortensen's new movie, 'A History Of Violence'. Once your wife watches Mrs. Stahl trying to get that shotgun loaded as the bad guys approach the house, she'll quickly understand what you're trying to tell her!
WARNING: This movie contains full frontal nudity shots that add absolutely nothing to the plot line, and may require you to use your popcorn container as an expedient vomit bag! (NOT attractive!) Interesting fight scenes, though. Viggo's got the moves! ;P
PS: This might, also, help!