Help with my wife's attitudes towards guns
In January, I woke up and realized that I was depending on the police to protect me and my family and that even in the best circumstances, some harm to my family was certainly possible before they arrived on scene. I did much research on the topic before deciding to arm myself. It is not a decision I made lightly.
I spoke with my wife about her concerns. She does not fear an attack as we live in a nice neighborhood, hang out at decent places, etc. She does fear that we are at risk of an accidental shooting involving our kids, 4 and 6, or others that may be visiting. I attempted to alleviate her fears by purchasing a GunVault gun safe and mounting it 6 feet off the floor in our bedroom closet. Nothing seemed to allay her fears. My innate need to feel that I could protect my family outweighed my concern over her fears and I purchased a Glock 19 and necessary support equipment with savings bonds I had from before we met (we otherwise have joint finances).
Of course, she was enraged that I would take unilateral action. She said that we ultimately would have (might have?) gotten a gun eventually, but was hurt that I did it without consulting her as she felt this affected the whole family (as did I). She wasn't 'ready'.
It's been 4 months since then. I have established proficiency as measured by the IDPA by being a sharpshooter. I have been careful with how I handle guns. I have worked with my 6 year old son to learn the rules of gun safety. I have exposed her to very select information on the positive side of gun ownership. This includes the Oregon Principal that aprehended a school shooter (she's a teacher), and incidents from local stories where private gun ownership has saved the day. She's tolerated the information because she knew how much I wanted to give it to her, but clearly wasn't 'interested' in it.
I have been considerate to ask if she minds any gun-related activities in the house, such as "do you mind if I clean my gun". She's been very reasonable. We've even been able to joke about guns, etc. She tells me about the guns that are mentioned in the novels she likes to read (I had a laugh at the consistent reference to a Glock 0.9mm[sic] in one novel.)
I thought that she was coming around as she hasn't said anything negative since the 'big blow up' when I told her what I'd done in getting the gun. However, the other day I asked her if her position on guns has changed since we last talked about her feelings. She reiterated that she didn't fear an attack, but she did fear an accident.
So, I seek the advice of women that have 'come to terms with guns'. The rational arguments about being able to protect my family before/until the police arrive has not been persuasive. She has tolerated my decision with understanding for my strong feelings, but she doesn't yet agree. She is a very logical person, but stands firm that her family is more at risk from a gun accident than crime.
The one glimmer of hope I've had is that a neighbor friend has mentioned that he'd like to go with me to my range to teach his wife how to shoot (she's willing). I told my wife about this and asked if she would want to go and she said "maybe" (by far the most positive things she's said about guns yet.) She has fired a revolver when a previous boyfrind and her went on a trip to FL while they were having a crime spree against tourists, if that means anything. Since he was going to have it around, he wanted her to know how to use it (makes sense--I'd like the same thing!)
Sorry this has run so long. It is a complicated situation. I hope you can help.
Character is doing the right thing when nobody is looking.