[ChuteTheMall]

Originally Posted by _The_Shadow

MOVED to Page 634

[countrygun]

Originally Posted by samurairabbi

Yeah ... gold plating ... not even worth a minimal embezzlement effort. The world really started its slide to mediocrity when the term "24 caret gold filled" came into use. That phrase SOUNDS like it means "filled with gold", but it really means "thin gold surface, but FILLED with el cheapo metal".

I have always felt that the money in the Olympics was in the "side money" anyway. The event draws too much attention, there are too many languages involved, and more importantly too many ham-fisted amatures in the way and getting caught. With them creating a diversion our usual "operation" goes completely unnoticed.

Low-profile is the key to longevity in some businesses.

[VN350X10]

If we could create an Official 10-Ring Olympic trinkit, we could cash in on the entire flock of sheep concerned with them & make a fortune fleecing them !
Something that we can produce for say $.29 and sell for $19.95 + S&H
Or better yet, something that we charge someone else $5.00 to dispose of & THEN sell. Without any effort on our parts.


uncle.

[samurairabbi]

Originally Posted by VN350X10

Or better yet, something that we charge someone else $5.00 to dispose of & THEN sell. Without any effort on our parts.

uncle.

I subscribe to your wholesale option setup. Let some other clown take on the distribution hassle; we'll take our wholesale profit and return to partying.

Have to be careful on ONE aspect, though: the IOC bigshots got all bent out of shape over the "ambush marketing" wrinkle at the '96 Atlanta Olympics. It may be useful for us to rip off a lower profile operation.

[ChuteTheMall]

We can get a stimulus grant to have them produced, a training grant to train unskilled workers to produce them, a research grant to design them, and then a foreign aid grant to move production offshore. It doesn't matter whether we produce and market them because we will more than make up for it on volume alone. Finally, we'll get an education grant to study what the F just happened.

[samurairabbi]

Originally Posted by ChuteTheMall

Finally, we'll get an education grant to study what the F just happened.

I counsel NOT getting a grant to study what the F just happened. A grant would mean we would have to share WHY what the F just happened with the people coughing up the funding for the grant. If WE cough up the funds for the study, then we're better off because ONLY WE would know what the F just happened!

[ChuteTheMall]

Originally Posted by samurairabbi

If WE cough up the funds for the study, then we're better off because ONLY WE would know what the F just happened!

I can do that for you wholesale.

[samurairabbi]

Originally Posted by ChuteTheMall

I can do that for you wholesale.

... But if we do it RETAIL, then we can embezzle more money from ourselves than if we do it wholesale!

(I know, that statement is contrived, even for me, but it IS late, and we're behind in the nightly count of the take because one of the forklifts hauling the Lagoon Party receipts to the counting room got lost for a while, and we had to divert some of the staff to find it - turns out he got diverted by participating in a "slowness contest" with a .45ACP round fired on the hundred yard range)

[VN350X10]

We handle the wholesale, sub-contract the retail operation & embezz......er, I mean,...re-direct the profits to our advantage, & therefore are NOT embe...that word again....., from ourselves, but from someone else.

uncle

[samurairabbi]

Originally Posted by VN350X10

We handle the wholesale, sub-contract the retail operation & embezz......er, I mean,...re-direct the profits to our advantage, & therefore are NOT embe...that word again....., from ourselves, but from someone else.

uncle

... but then, embezzling from OURSELVES is excellent conditioning practice for embezzlng from someone else!

[VN350X10]

practice, smactise.....there's NO profitability in practice !

[_The_Shadow]

Why is it that Doctors and Lawyers call it a "Practice"?
Will they someday do things for Real!
"Gynocology Practice" I keep trying!

[VN350X10]

HOKAY......I give you that one.

Better stated: for US there's no profit in practice.


uncle

[samurairabbi]

Originally Posted by VN350X10

Better stated: for US there's no profit in practice.

uncle

Better, but still scope for improvement.

The Alliteration A*sses Advocacy Alignment of the Dungeon Linguistics Unit offers this: Proper prior preparation preceding profitability.

[VN350X10]

A's & P's........

wan't that a supermarket chain ??

[countrygun]

Originally Posted by ChuteTheMall

I can do that for you wholesale.

No, no no. for once in our lives, since we are "rechanneling" as it were, our own funds, we WANT to pay retail. More to write off. Besides it attracts less attention if you pay market price than if you keep coming up with deals.

[samurairabbi]

Originally Posted by VN350X10

A's & P's........

wan't that a supermarket chain ??

Excellent memory, Unkle. I too remember the A&P supermarket chain. My parents could remember when the full name was Atlantic & Pacific Tea Company.

On the other hand ... T&A is something completely different!

[Taterhead]

Originally Posted by _The_Shadow

Why is it that Doctors and Lawyers call it a "Practice"? ...

Shadow, good Sir, us accountants refer to it as "practicing accounting" too. We keep practicing until the numbers come out like we want them to.

SR would know a thing or two about that over in Dungeon Finance. He is truly a professional practitioner. Get enough N' Sweats in him and he might "talk a little shop," so to speak. Sometime when he is appropriately lubricated (now is probably a good time most likely), ask him how he consistently manages to "hit the numbers."

[samurairabbi]

Originally Posted by Taterhead

Shadow, good Sir, us accountants refer to it as "practicing accounting" too. We keep practicing until the numbers come out like we want them to.

SR would know a thing or two about that over in Dungeon Finance. He is truly a professional practitioner. Get enough N' Sweats in him and he might "talk a little shop," so to speak. Sometime when he is appropriately lubricated (now is probably a good time most likely), ask him how he consistently manages to "hit the numbers."

Actually, Tater, we don't "hit" the numbers; we SEDUCE them! I will show my age with this one-liner about "aggressive" accounting: Write off that loss with the help of Touche Ross.

Appropriate lubrication is not really necessary. I prefer to be superbly coherent when dispensing instruction on my embezzleme ... Whoops! ... on my precisely meaningful ... accounting technique. It is vital that my subordinates be as insightful as I am; after all, I like to take vacations, too!

[Taterhead]

Originally Posted by samurairabbi

Actually, Tater, we don't "hit" the numbers; we SEDUCE them! I will show my age with this one-liner about "aggressive" accounting: Write off that loss with the help of Touche Ross.

Appropriate lubrication is not really necessary. I prefer to be superbly coherent when dispensing instruction on my embezzleme ... Whoops! ... on my precisely meaningful ... accounting technique. It is vital that my subordinates be as insightful as I am; after all, I like to take vacations, too!

I must admit that I am lost me on "Touche Ross." Never met the guy. Was he good with numbers too?

RE: your vacation -- just leave us your rubber stamp and a fresh ink pad. We'll cover for ya.

[ChuteTheMall]

Originally Posted by samurairabbi

Actually, Tater, we don't "hit" the numbers; we SEDUCE them! .....Appropriate lubrication is not really necessary.

There's a fine line between seduction and hitting, and lubrication is more useful for the former than the latter.

[samurairabbi]

Originally Posted by Taterhead

I must admit that I am lost me on "Touche Ross." Never met the guy. Was he good with numbers too?

RE: your vacation -- just leave us your rubber stamp and a fresh ink pad. We'll cover for ya.

In the eighties, Touche Ross was one of the "Big 8" accounting firms, and rumor had it, the most aggressively creative in masking bad news for its clients. The firm later merged with Deloitte Haskins & Sells, creating the current Deloite & Touche.

[_The_Shadow]

Originally Posted by Taterhead

Shadow, good Sir, us accountants refer to it as "practicing accounting" too. We keep practicing until the numbers come out like we want them to.

SR would know a thing or two about that over in Dungeon Finance. He is truly a professional practitioner. Get enough N' Sweats in him and he might "talk a little shop," so to speak. Sometime when he is appropriately lubricated (now is probably a good time most likely), ask him how he consistently manages to "hit the numbers."

Well if this is the case the Dungeon Finance accountants may need to practice my method of doing taxes...You work them backwards! You decide how much you want [$$$] back then work said numbers with a little practice and arrive at the best numbers to achieve your desired results! You may be familure with part of this method referred to a Fudging!

[Taterhead]

Originally Posted by _The_Shadow

Well if this is the case the Dungeon Finance accountants may need to practice my method of doing taxes...You work them backwards! You decide how much you want [$$$] back then work said numbers with a little practice and arrive at the best numbers to achieve your desired results! You may be familure with part of this method referred to a Fudging!

My mistake. I thought "fudging" was what happened inside your trousers when the IRS man busts you while seducing the numbers.

[ChuteTheMall]

How are those Packers doing?