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Old 05-25-2002, 23:01   #1
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Location: Not My Legs; Not My Feet
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Dumb Laws on the books....

Inspired by this GNG thread:

No indication whether any of the following constitute "felonies" in the respective jurisdications, and I can't vouch for the accuracy, but after I went digging for 'dumb laws', came acros a couple very amusing places:
--It is illegal to tease skunks.
--Every man in Brainerd is required by law to grow a beard.

--A state law stipulates that a woman's hair legally belongs to her husband.
--Under state law, dentists are officially classified as "mechanics."
--In Clawson, it is legal for a man to "sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens."

New York:
--In Saten Island, it is illegal for a father to call his son a fag--t or queer in an effort to curb girlie behavior.
--In NYC, "it is disorderly conduct for one man to greet another on the street by placing the end of his thumb against the tip of his nose and wiggling the extended fingers of that hand."

North Carolina:
--It is illegal to have sex in a Churchyard.
--It is illegal to make love on the floor of a hotel room between two double beds.

--Whale hunting is strictly forbidden.
--People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.

--In Columbus, it is illegal for stores to sell corn flakes on Sunday.
--In Oxford, it is illegal for a woman to disrobe in front of a man's picture.
--In Youngstown, it is illegal to run out of gas.

--The town of Hood River prohibits the act of juggling without a license.

--In Whitehall, it is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels. ;d ;d ;d
--It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.

--If a child burps during a church service in Omaha, his or her parents may be arrested.
--It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license.

--Unmarried women who parachute on Sunday's will be jailed.

--In Quitman, it is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.
--In Columbus, it is illegal to sit on one's porch in an indecent position.

--"Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes." ;d ;d

Rhode Island:
--Its illegal to throw pickle juice on a trolley.

--It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
--In Dyersburg, it is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date. --In Memphis, it is illegal for a woman to drive by herself; "a man must walk or run in front of the vehicle, waving a red flag in order to warn approaching pedestrians and motorists." :D

--The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
-It is illegal to milk another person's cow.

--A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife in his presence.

--In Richmond, it is illegal to flip a coin in any eating establishment to determine who buys a cup of coffee.
--In Lebanon, it is illegal to kick your wife out of bed.

--It is illegal to deny the existence of God.
--It is illegal to whistle underwater.
--Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

--A man can legally beat his wife, but no more than once a month.

--In L.A., a man may legally beat his wife with a leather strap, as long as it is less than 2 inches wide, or she gives him permission to use a wider strap.
--It is a misdemeanor to shoot any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

--It is illegal to wear a goatee without a license.
--North Andover prohibits its citizens from carrying "space guns."
--In 1659, the state outlawed Christmas.

--Monkey's are forbidden to smoke cigarettes in South Bend.

--In Chicago, it is illegal to take a french poodle to the Opera.
--According to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is "American."
--In Joliet, it is illegal to mispronounce the name Joliet
From, individual states' sections:
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
Masks may not be worn in public.
Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.
Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.

Hunting camels is prohibited. {Well, there goes THAT hobby I guess.....}
Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony.
There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
A class 2 misdemeanor occurs if one places a mark upon a flag which is "likely to provoke physical retaliation".
When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.
It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

Mohave County
A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.

It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.


Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
Bathhouses are against the law.
It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
Women may not drive in a house coat.
No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.

Arcadia (city)
Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.

Baldwin Park
Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.

Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk.
Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.

It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.

It is illegal to shoot "silly string" at parade participants.

Long Beach
Cars are the only item allowed in a garage.
It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.

Los Angeles
It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent.
You cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
You may not hunt moths under a street light.
It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
Toads may not be licked.
It is a crime for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church. Breaking this law is punishable by a fine of $500 and/or six months in prison.
Zoot suits are prohibited.
It goes on and on....... there's a subsection for every state!

Note to self: admonish G&KL to get rid of her Zoot Suit
I'm doin the best that I can.

Last edited by MB-G26; 05-25-2002 at 23:07..
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