Hey guys! I've noticed some of the religious folk seem REALLY happy!
So, I've decided to go shopping for an imaginary friend. I want one that is kool with me taking days off, but you know, I'll talk and hang out with him on maybe one day a week, not sunday though, that's too cliche'. Read below for the prerequisites of features this god must have before recommending me an imaginary friend/god/whatever you guys want to call it.
1. Must be big, burly, and ready to kick butt! If this god is not male, and is female, she must be HOT! Preferably a brownish female IE middle eastern, hispanic, asian, etc. She must still be kool though, and know how to use tons of weapons and fight like a man, while maintaining the beauties and femininity of a woman.
2. The heaven has to be cool, roomy, and tons of guns and tech toys for me to play with. If I'm going to take the time out of my life and dedicate one day to this imaginary friend, I want my return on investment to be GOOD.
3. No lame rules, and fear mongering, unless it's on those "non-believers". Then by all means! Lame rules consist of, but are not limited to "no sex before marriage, no polygamy, no drinking, no bad words, etc etc"
4. The god or goddess needs a pet. Like an awesome fierce looking pet. I would say a wolf, but that was fenrir in Norse mythology, and I'm afraid they'd sue me. So maybe like a dog...... The dog needs to be a breed that doesn't take crap from anybody! So maybe a Rottweiler, Germanshepherd, dobermann, etc etc......
I'll come up with more criteria for this imaginary friend to meet later, for now I hope my religious buddies and non-religious buddies here can help me concoct a new and improved religion! We can even maybe find ways to make a good amount of money off this, and of course since it's a religion, we'll be able to hide behind that "churches aren't taxed" stuff.
Let the ideas begin!
PS - and NO flying spaghetti monster!