50th Anniversary Invites - Help needed?
Hey all, I've been tasked with planning well... pretty much everything... concerning my grandparents upcoming 50th wedding anniversary and I'm running into some idea blocks.
Everything I find pre-made for invites is so damn BO-RING!!! Seriously... they're all for old people. My grandparents might be in their late 60s but they're not old. And neither are their friends. They're a crazy, perverted, hilarious group of people and I'm trying to find some invitations that reflect that and am coming up with bumpkiss.
My grandmother used to play the piano but has pretty much only been a housewife. My grandfather has primarily been a carpenter and home contractor. They both love Elvis and music from the 40s and 50s. They have weekly poker games with their friends and there's usually a yearly pilgrimage to Vegas, New Orleans or a cruise for gambling and partying. They tell off-color, perverted jokes all the time and are real wiseasses. My grandpa flirts with waitresses every chance he gets and likes to tell tall tales (ie - I apparently speak 15 different languages and am in school to be an astronaut, my favorite is where their recently departed cat used to be a "Snow Marine Special Forces" who moonlighted helping out the Easter Bunny by laying eggs in the closet). Grandpa is also interested in WWII history and all of the "Old West" stuff especially dealing with lost treasure. Grandma has blood cancer and grandpa had the lap-band surgery a few years ago and they've both lost TONS of weight because of their illnesses but trying to make the best of it all. Grandma's really excited to be planning a "wedding" (vow renewal) and this party and all because they didn't really have one the first time around (late 1950s, baby on the way... you know how it goes).
Sooo yeah, pushing the boundaries of decency is harder than I thought. The only things I've come up with so far is kinda stupid like "party sponsored by AARP and Viagra" or something along those lines. Grandpa also wanted to jokingly say on the invite that they're registered at Wells Fargo (the bank) and I thought about changing that to say Walgreens Pharmacy because they take soooo many friggin' medications... lol. Seriously though, they don't want any gifts and would prefer donations made to the Shriners hospitals instead if people are adamant about giving something.
The party is gonna be a mid-afternoon affair with coffee and cake served possibly along with a old-timey soda fountain and candy buffet and I'm drawing up plans to play our very own version of the Newlywed Game too. The colors are light candy pink and black with gold accents.
So please... any ideas on some humorous things to put in the invitation? Or how to word it? My grandparents are so beyond non-traditional, it's hard to get inspiration on the web.
"It's a military base... what do you expect? Them to carry around pink daisies and toss rose petals into the air to simulate a frag grenade?"
Life is unfair. Kill yourself or get over it.