Sooo I was in a shoot out.... - Page 10

kyletx1911a1 · 02-17-2011, 14:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmspeedy

Good stuff - reminds me of the only time I ever fired while having my pants down. This is a true story, however.

I was fishing out of my kayak at a location near Baton Rouge called Alligator Bayou - early summer (gator mating season). I was paddling down a long man made canal about 20 feet across with marsh grass on either bank.

I really needed to piss, so I ran my yak up into the grass to stabilize it so I could get on my knees to piss over the side of my yak (I should have inspected my bathroom better).

I was kneeling taking a piss when I see some grass move about 3 feet in front of me. Next I heard a hiss and spotted a huge gator (at least 7 feet, but at the time I would have sworn he was 15 feet long) lying with his body about half above the water line - he had his mouth open and WAS NOT HAPPY I WAS THERE!!

He took an aggressive posture and was hissing - this was no joke!! It was mating season they had been pretty aggressive in the weeks leading up to this event.

With my pecker still in my left hand I slowly unholstered my G19 and without hesitation began firing shots about a foot to the side of the gator. He thankfully made a hasty retreat.

After I coaxed my pecker back out - I finished peeing and NEVER EVER stop in the marsh grass of Alligator Bayou (or any LA bayou) to relieve myself.

What a way to go - yanked overboard by your cock - close call, still have nightmares.

That season (last year) I had no less than 5 scary run ins with aggressive gators.

that is another reason not to talk to it

hackinpeat · 02-19-2011, 15:12

Man... way to survive!!!!! And people wonder why I keep a 33 round mag ready to rock... This is why. Gang violence. May you continue to be blessed, and I hope you sleep O.k. at night. That sort of action can shake up the old gray matter for years to come, but you know you did what you were supposed to do. As I like to say when I hear a story like this from someone... "Good to see you." (alive)

Rusty Gunn · 02-20-2011, 00:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by greenman19

what did we learn?

i had my doubts when instead of running off when one of them went down they mounted an assault to get their fallen member. in my experience that just doesn't happen.

Unless they were ex-Marines?

Rusty Gunn · 02-20-2011, 00:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by dragoon44

no, mine got shot up in the al queda attack, 16 bg's, i had to beat 4 of them down with the towel rack before getting to my m4 with the m203 attached that i keep in the freezer under the popsicles. It was pitch dark but they gave themselves away shouting "allah akbar" and i used echo location to nail them.

Ho-Chee-Mama!!

Rusty Gunn · 02-20-2011, 00:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dragoon44

You got that right, after having a category 4 hurricane roll right over the top of my house there is no such thing as a window to small to board up.

Do you have a link to that?

Rusty Gunn · 02-20-2011, 00:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by UtahIrishman

Good point on the flooring. Where I used to work there was a woman who had a break-in at her house. The guy bled to death after cutting himself on the window he crashed through. She had wood floors.

She had to have the floors ripped out and replaced because of the blood.

Why didn't she just let her dog lick it up?

MadMonkey · 02-20-2011, 00:19

I knew it was fake the moment I read that he fired more than two rounds out of a Mac without a failure

Foxtrotx1 · 02-20-2011, 00:22

It amazes me that people are still thinking this is real.

Bill Lumberg · 02-26-2011, 10:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by TicTockTheGlock

It's Saturday Morning 2:58am...

I'm in the shower

I stand there naked
my body
My muscles tighten
grab my....
muffled and grunting.
get to the back
ghetto
I'm naked
then i hear
Let Tay in the back
my naked body
behind peanut butter.
these bodies
my body.
another body licking
my way

a body runs <iframe style="border: 2px inset; width: 540px; height: 250px;" tabindex="1" id="vB_Editor_001_iframe"></iframe>
crying
heavy breathing
dark stain
I stay in position
inspect my body for damages
take me down
naked
wet
I'm wet still
my heart pumps fast,

hilarious

Glockin21 · 02-28-2011, 09:39

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I cant remember when the lat time it is i laughed so hard!

Bill Lumberg · 02-28-2011, 10:03

Simple editing of the op's words, in their original order. I admit it was some of my better work.

Mr Spock · 03-02-2011, 14:49

Nothing much to add... Just needed to tag/be part of another epic thread.

TicTockTheGlock · 07-09-2012, 01:40

Guess who's back and won a case?

ranger1968 · 07-09-2012, 02:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by TicTockTheGlock

Guess who's back and won a case?

"won a case" of what?

I have to tell you, your original story was total bull****, but entertaining.....

***Gallium*** · 07-09-2012, 06:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by TicTockTheGlock

Guess who's back and won a case?

Glad you're back. Can you talk about it now?

- G

amilliron · 07-09-2012, 08:07

It would be GREAT, and REALLY helpful if there were some supporting links.....

alexanderg23 · 07-09-2012, 12:18

only been waiting 3 years

Foxtrotx1 · 07-09-2012, 12:59

If I had a son, he would look just like tictock.

ranger1968 · 07-09-2012, 13:01

That story read like an episode of Breaking Bad.....

OctoberRust · 07-09-2012, 13:13

dude, epic thread is epic.

Did I ever tell you guys about the time two tactical bears broke into my house?

Alfred10 and I fought them off, but it wasn't easy. I was upstairs showering, but luckily I had my mac 10 that has 2 barrels attached, that could fire off .308 and 10mm at the same time. I decided to go with that weapon cause I made a bunch of threads asking what caliber for bear and that's the two calibers people recommended me.

I'll post the news links later.

mingaa · 07-09-2012, 13:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmspeedy

Good stuff - reminds me of the only time I ever fired while having my pants down. This is a true story, however.

I was fishing out of my kayak at a location near Baton Rouge called Alligator Bayou - early summer (gator mating season). I was paddling down a long man made canal about 20 feet across with marsh grass on either bank.

I really needed to piss, so I ran my yak up into the grass to stabilize it so I could get on my knees to piss over the side of my yak (I should have inspected my bathroom better).

I was kneeling taking a piss when I see some grass move about 3 feet in front of me. Next I heard a hiss and spotted a huge gator (at least 7 feet, but at the time I would have sworn he was 15 feet long) lying with his body about half above the water line - he had his mouth open and WAS NOT HAPPY I WAS THERE!!

He took an aggressive posture and was hissing - this was no joke!! It was mating season they had been pretty aggressive in the weeks leading up to this event.

With my pecker still in my left hand I slowly unholstered my G19 and without hesitation began firing shots about a foot to the side of the gator. He thankfully made a hasty retreat.

After I coaxed my pecker back out - I finished peeing and NEVER EVER stop in the marsh grass of Alligator Bayou (or any LA bayou) to relieve myself.

What a way to go - yanked overboard by your cock - close call, still have nightmares.

That season (last year) I had no less than 5 scary run ins with aggressive gators.

I know there is a season and you need tags etc. (depending on location) BUT - you fired warning shots at a 7' gator that had his eyes on your unit?!?! I'm not sure what the fine would have been had you been caught but I might have taken it AND the public urination charge as well!!!