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Old 12-10-2009, 19:57   #201
Armed Infidel
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Well I learned an important lesson from the OP... no, not to have lots of guns throughout the house but... have a spare pair of shorts handy in the bathroom!
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Old 12-12-2009, 22:58   #202
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Sooooooo I was in a shootout at the clinic......I heard them coming and retrieved my baby glock from my bedpan where I have stashed it. Since the medication I am taking gives me the runs the bed pan was full. Would the Glock function when I needed it the most? I shook off the s##t onto the fan nearbyand then inserted the 30 round clip I had taped to my thigh. It went in smoothly.

The foot steps were getting closer. Who were these guys? The ones from my home invasion trying to finish the job? My girlfriend's ex, who was mad at me for taking her away from him? My girlfriend's sister; a Playboy bunny, who had the hots for me? My girlfriend; wanting her thong back?

The footsteps were coming closer when I realized my cell door was locked from the outside.
Fixed it for ya...
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Well I learned an important lesson from the OP... no, not to have lots of guns throughout the house but... have a spare pair of shorts handy in the bathroom!
+1

They'll come in handy whether you were naked at the start of the shootout or not!


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Old 01-06-2010, 10:48   #203
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Hmmmm, guess he isn't coming back.
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Old 01-06-2010, 19:46   #204
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Hmmmm, guess he isn't coming back.
Ya think?
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Old 01-07-2010, 11:43   #205
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He probably got in another shootout.
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Old 01-11-2010, 10:12   #206
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He probably got in another shootout.


I guess this one did not turn out so good for him.

Paul
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Old 01-11-2010, 10:27   #207
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The other one did not make the news either, but seriously, the TSA's death squads don't like word leaked that they got their asses kicked.


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Old 01-11-2010, 20:44   #208
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The other one did not make the news either, but seriously, the TSA's death squads don't like word leaked that they got their asses kicked.


Too funny!

Will somebody please lock this thread!

Paul
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Old 01-11-2010, 23:31   #209
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Before this thread is locked, I can't be the only one thoroughly disturbed that in this guy's hero shoot out fantasy, he chooses to be naked during the whole ordeal. I'm no psychologist, but one may think there may be some sort of sick underlying sexual meaning behind why he is nude mowing down bad guys with a sub-machine gun in this story.
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Old 01-12-2010, 08:58   #210
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Why would the thread be locked before your sexually focused post? If people follow you down that path, it just might be closed.

The OP is easily tracked on the web. He's in the 'entertainment/recording' business. Chase him down and send an email inviting him back.
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Old 01-12-2010, 14:34   #211
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But clothed and no sub machine guns...
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Old 01-12-2010, 16:08   #212
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You're right, some things are just better left unexplored.
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Old 01-19-2010, 22:11   #213
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This thread was awesome!!!!!
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Old 01-20-2010, 04:23   #214
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Originally Posted by jhmayhem View Post
Before this thread is locked, I can't be the only one thoroughly disturbed that in this guy's hero shoot out fantasy, he chooses to be naked during the whole ordeal. I'm no psychologist, but one may think there may be some sort of sick underlying sexual meaning behind why he is nude mowing down bad guys with a sub-machine gun in this story.
You mean you should be wearing clothes in a gunfight!...who knew???
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Old 01-20-2010, 12:38   #215
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Before this thread is locked, I can't be the only one thoroughly disturbed that in this guy's hero shoot out fantasy, he chooses to be naked during the whole ordeal. I'm no psychologist, but one may think there may be some sort of sick underlying sexual meaning behind why he is nude mowing down bad guys with a sub-machine gun in this story.
Good stuff - reminds me of the only time I ever fired while having my pants down. This is a true story, however.

I was fishing out of my kayak at a location near Baton Rouge called Alligator Bayou - early summer (gator mating season). I was paddling down a long man made canal about 20 feet across with marsh grass on either bank.

I really needed to piss, so I ran my yak up into the grass to stabilize it so I could get on my knees to piss over the side of my yak (I should have inspected my bathroom better).

I was kneeling taking a piss when I see some grass move about 3 feet in front of me. Next I heard a hiss and spotted a huge gator (at least 7 feet, but at the time I would have sworn he was 15 feet long) lying with his body about half above the water line - he had his mouth open and WAS NOT HAPPY I WAS THERE!!

He took an aggressive posture and was hissing - this was no joke!! It was mating season they had been pretty aggressive in the weeks leading up to this event.

With my pecker still in my left hand I slowly unholstered my G19 and without hesitation began firing shots about a foot to the side of the gator. He thankfully made a hasty retreat.

After I coaxed my pecker back out - I finished peeing and NEVER EVER stop in the marsh grass of Alligator Bayou (or any LA bayou) to relieve myself.

What a way to go - yanked overboard by your cock - close call, still have nightmares.

That season (last year) I had no less than 5 scary run ins with aggressive gators.
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Old 01-20-2010, 13:02   #216
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IBTL!!

This line mandatory to meet character quota.
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Old 01-20-2010, 20:56   #217
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmspeedy View Post
Good stuff - reminds me of the only time I ever fired while having my pants down. This is a true story, however.

I was fishing out of my kayak at a location near Baton Rouge called Alligator Bayou - early summer (gator mating season). I was paddling down a long man made canal about 20 feet across with marsh grass on either bank.

I really needed to piss, so I ran my yak up into the grass to stabilize it so I could get on my knees to piss over the side of my yak (I should have inspected my bathroom better).

I was kneeling taking a piss when I see some grass move about 3 feet in front of me. Next I heard a hiss and spotted a huge gator (at least 7 feet, but at the time I would have sworn he was 15 feet long) lying with his body about half above the water line - he had his mouth open and WAS NOT HAPPY I WAS THERE!!

He took an aggressive posture and was hissing - this was no joke!! It was mating season they had been pretty aggressive in the weeks leading up to this event.

With my pecker still in my left hand I slowly unholstered my G19 and without hesitation began firing shots about a foot to the side of the gator. He thankfully made a hasty retreat.

After I coaxed my pecker back out - I finished peeing and NEVER EVER stop in the marsh grass of Alligator Bayou (or any LA bayou) to relieve myself.

What a way to go - yanked overboard by your cock - close call, still have nightmares.

That season (last year) I had no less than 5 scary run ins with aggressive gators.
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Old 01-21-2010, 20:24   #218
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I think this thread should live into infamy! I'm loving GT just about now. Let's burn a hole into someone's reputation, shall we?
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Old 01-24-2010, 00:40   #219
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Howdy,

Quote:
Originally Posted by cmspeedy View Post
Good stuff - reminds me of the only time I ever fired while having my pants down. This is a true story, however.

I was fishing out of my kayak at a location near Baton Rouge called Alligator Bayou - early summer (gator mating season). I was paddling down a long man made canal about 20 feet across with marsh grass on either bank.

I really needed to piss, so I ran my yak up into the grass to stabilize it so I could get on my knees to piss over the side of my yak (I should have inspected my bathroom better).

I was kneeling taking a piss when I see some grass move about 3 feet in front of me. Next I heard a hiss and spotted a huge gator (at least 7 feet, but at the time I would have sworn he was 15 feet long) lying with his body about half above the water line - he had his mouth open and WAS NOT HAPPY I WAS THERE!!

He took an aggressive posture and was hissing - this was no joke!! It was mating season they had been pretty aggressive in the weeks leading up to this event.

With my pecker still in my left hand I slowly unholstered my G19 and without hesitation began firing shots about a foot to the side of the gator. He thankfully made a hasty retreat.

After I coaxed my pecker back out - I finished peeing and NEVER EVER stop in the marsh grass of Alligator Bayou (or any LA bayou) to relieve myself.

What a way to go - yanked overboard by your cock - close call, still have nightmares.

That season (last year) I had no less than 5 scary run ins with aggressive gators.


This is almost as good as TicTock's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Paul
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Old 01-24-2010, 11:02   #220
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Mines true!!! Eternally etched in my memory. One of those lessons I'll never forget.

Glad I could entertain!!
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