Sooo I was in a shoot out.... - Page 9

Armed Infidel · 12-10-2009, 18:57

Well I learned an important lesson from the OP... no, not to have lots of guns throughout the house but... have a spare pair of shorts handy in the bathroom!

steveksux · 12-12-2009, 21:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dexters

Sooooooo I was in a shootout at the clinic......I heard them coming and retrieved my baby glock from my bedpan where I have stashed it. Since the medication I am taking gives me the runs the bed pan was full. Would the Glock function when I needed it the most? I shook off the s##t onto the fan nearbyand then inserted the 30 round clip I had taped to my thigh. It went in smoothly.

The foot steps were getting closer. Who were these guys? The ones from my home invasion trying to finish the job? My girlfriend's ex, who was mad at me for taking her away from him? My girlfriend's sister; a Playboy bunny, who had the hots for me? My girlfriend; wanting her thong back?

The footsteps were coming closer when I realized my cell door was locked from the outside.

Fixed it for ya...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armed Infidel

Well I learned an important lesson from the OP... no, not to have lots of guns throughout the house but... have a spare pair of shorts handy in the bathroom!

+1

They'll come in handy whether you were naked at the start of the shootout or not!

Randy

**RussP** · 01-06-2010, 09:48

Hmmmm, guess he isn't coming back.

MC · 01-06-2010, 18:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by RussP

Hmmmm, guess he isn't coming back.

Ya think?

Beware Owner · 01-07-2010, 10:43

He probably got in another shootout.

stengun · 01-11-2010, 09:12

Howdy,

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beware Owner

He probably got in another shootout.

I guess this one did not turn out so good for him.

Paul

***Gallium*** · 01-11-2010, 09:27

The other one did not make the news either, but seriously, the TSA's death squads don't like word leaked that they got their asses kicked.

stengun · 01-11-2010, 19:44

Howdy,

Quote:

Originally Posted by NYC Drew

The other one did not make the news either, but seriously, the TSA's death squads don't like word leaked that they got their asses kicked.

Too funny!

Will somebody please lock this thread!

Paul

jhmayhem · 01-11-2010, 22:31

Before this thread is locked, I can't be the only one thoroughly disturbed that in this guy's hero shoot out fantasy, he chooses to be naked during the whole ordeal. I'm no psychologist, but one may think there may be some sort of sick underlying sexual meaning behind why he is nude mowing down bad guys with a sub-machine gun in this story.

**RussP** · 01-12-2010, 07:58

Why would the thread be locked before your sexually focused post? If people follow you down that path, it just might be closed.

The OP is easily tracked on the web. He's in the 'entertainment/recording' business. Chase him down and send an email inviting him back.

Beware Owner · 01-12-2010, 13:34

But clothed and no sub machine guns...

jhmayhem · 01-12-2010, 15:08

You're right, some things are just better left unexplored.

krush777 · 01-19-2010, 21:11

This thread was awesome!!!!!

MC · 01-20-2010, 03:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by jhmayhem

Before this thread is locked, I can't be the only one thoroughly disturbed that in this guy's hero shoot out fantasy, he chooses to be naked during the whole ordeal. I'm no psychologist, but one may think there may be some sort of sick underlying sexual meaning behind why he is nude mowing down bad guys with a sub-machine gun in this story.

You mean you should be wearing clothes in a gunfight!...who knew???

cmspeedy · 01-20-2010, 11:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by jhmayhem

Before this thread is locked, I can't be the only one thoroughly disturbed that in this guy's hero shoot out fantasy, he chooses to be naked during the whole ordeal. I'm no psychologist, but one may think there may be some sort of sick underlying sexual meaning behind why he is nude mowing down bad guys with a sub-machine gun in this story.

Good stuff - reminds me of the only time I ever fired while having my pants down. This is a true story, however.

I was fishing out of my kayak at a location near Baton Rouge called Alligator Bayou - early summer (gator mating season). I was paddling down a long man made canal about 20 feet across with marsh grass on either bank.

I really needed to piss, so I ran my yak up into the grass to stabilize it so I could get on my knees to piss over the side of my yak (I should have inspected my bathroom better).

I was kneeling taking a piss when I see some grass move about 3 feet in front of me. Next I heard a hiss and spotted a huge gator (at least 7 feet, but at the time I would have sworn he was 15 feet long) lying with his body about half above the water line - he had his mouth open and WAS NOT HAPPY I WAS THERE!!

He took an aggressive posture and was hissing - this was no joke!! It was mating season they had been pretty aggressive in the weeks leading up to this event.

With my pecker still in my left hand I slowly unholstered my G19 and without hesitation began firing shots about a foot to the side of the gator. He thankfully made a hasty retreat.

After I coaxed my pecker back out - I finished peeing and NEVER EVER stop in the marsh grass of Alligator Bayou (or any LA bayou) to relieve myself.

What a way to go - yanked overboard by your cock - close call, still have nightmares.

That season (last year) I had no less than 5 scary run ins with aggressive gators.

BicycleDay43 · 01-20-2010, 12:02

IBTL!!

This line mandatory to meet character quota.

bluelineman · 01-20-2010, 19:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmspeedy

Good stuff - reminds me of the only time I ever fired while having my pants down. This is a true story, however.

I was fishing out of my kayak at a location near Baton Rouge called Alligator Bayou - early summer (gator mating season). I was paddling down a long man made canal about 20 feet across with marsh grass on either bank.

I really needed to piss, so I ran my yak up into the grass to stabilize it so I could get on my knees to piss over the side of my yak (I should have inspected my bathroom better).

I was kneeling taking a piss when I see some grass move about 3 feet in front of me. Next I heard a hiss and spotted a huge gator (at least 7 feet, but at the time I would have sworn he was 15 feet long) lying with his body about half above the water line - he had his mouth open and WAS NOT HAPPY I WAS THERE!!

He took an aggressive posture and was hissing - this was no joke!! It was mating season they had been pretty aggressive in the weeks leading up to this event.

With my pecker still in my left hand I slowly unholstered my G19 and without hesitation began firing shots about a foot to the side of the gator. He thankfully made a hasty retreat.

After I coaxed my pecker back out - I finished peeing and NEVER EVER stop in the marsh grass of Alligator Bayou (or any LA bayou) to relieve myself.

What a way to go - yanked overboard by your cock - close call, still have nightmares.

That season (last year) I had no less than 5 scary run ins with aggressive gators.

Beware Owner · 01-21-2010, 19:24

I think this thread should live into infamy! I'm loving GT just about now. Let's burn a hole into someone's reputation, shall we?

stengun · 01-23-2010, 23:40

Howdy,

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmspeedy

Good stuff - reminds me of the only time I ever fired while having my pants down. This is a true story, however.

I was fishing out of my kayak at a location near Baton Rouge called Alligator Bayou - early summer (gator mating season). I was paddling down a long man made canal about 20 feet across with marsh grass on either bank.

I really needed to piss, so I ran my yak up into the grass to stabilize it so I could get on my knees to piss over the side of my yak (I should have inspected my bathroom better).

I was kneeling taking a piss when I see some grass move about 3 feet in front of me. Next I heard a hiss and spotted a huge gator (at least 7 feet, but at the time I would have sworn he was 15 feet long) lying with his body about half above the water line - he had his mouth open and WAS NOT HAPPY I WAS THERE!!

He took an aggressive posture and was hissing - this was no joke!! It was mating season they had been pretty aggressive in the weeks leading up to this event.

With my pecker still in my left hand I slowly unholstered my G19 and without hesitation began firing shots about a foot to the side of the gator. He thankfully made a hasty retreat.

After I coaxed my pecker back out - I finished peeing and NEVER EVER stop in the marsh grass of Alligator Bayou (or any LA bayou) to relieve myself.

What a way to go - yanked overboard by your cock - close call, still have nightmares.

That season (last year) I had no less than 5 scary run ins with aggressive gators.

This is almost as good as TicTock's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Paul

cmspeedy · 01-24-2010, 10:02

Mines true!!! Eternally etched in my memory. One of those lessons I'll never forget.

Glad I could entertain!!

Beware Owner · 01-24-2010, 14:29

These kinds of threads belong in Encyclopedia Dramatica, since we're already there...

Grammy · 02-17-2011, 03:02

Having trouble sleeping tonight, rather this morning. I've read all 9 pages, 20 minutes of life wasted I'll never get back.

Draggon, you're the MAN...

Foxtrotx1 · 02-17-2011, 03:17

How the hell did anyone believe it in the first place?

John43 · 02-17-2011, 06:13

I took time and read all this. The comment about the gun in the bed pan cracked me up! If we had all these posts together it would be a great story. The gun in the crap made me think of a video interview I saw the other day about two men in a coffee shop talking about giving some dynamite to a man who got tired of having his septic tank pump pumped out and wanted to save money. You can see where this is going, he put about six sticks of it down his septic tank, he wanted to just crack the container so it would leak out the cracks and he wouldn't have to pay as often. After they backed down the road to watch it happen, it rained crap and the guys wife came out of the kitchen where she was washing dishes, covered in crap with a knife after them. It blew off all the toilets and the house was covered in crap, even the roof.

Glockin21 · 02-17-2011, 13:38

Woah gosh man,that sounds similar to a real ugly shootout i was in a while back.Thank goodness your ok.I know killing someone is traumatizing,i blacked out to.Glad the good guy is alive.