GlockTalk.com
Home Forums Classifieds Blogs Today's Posts Search Social Groups



  
SIGN-UP
Notices

Glock Talk
Welcome To The Glock Talk Forums.

 
  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-03-2003, 10:35   #1
TEAK
1*
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: ALABAMA
Posts: 2,204
Send a message via AIM to TEAK
advice for yanks

Yankee Etiquette When Visiting the South

Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Yankees cross states such as North Carolina, South Carolina, Alabama, Tennessee, and Georgia those states' Tourism Councils have adopted a new policy.

In an effort to help outsiders understand the rural Southerner's mind, the following list will be handed to each person as they enter the State.

1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

2. It's called a 'gravel road,' No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way.

3. The red dirt - it's called clay. Red Georgia clay. If you like the color, don't wash your car for a couple weeks - it'll be permanent. The big lumps of it - they're called "clods."

4 . We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.

5 . Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you whipped...by our women.

6 . Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for ... bait.

7 . Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

8. Men, if you want to wear earrings, pierce your nose and whatevers, and wear your hair long - go right ahead - but if we call you ma'am, don't be offended.

9 . If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might want to ensure it's not up to your ear at the time.

10 . That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink.

11 . No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

12. Tea - yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and is sweet. You want it hot - sit it in the sun. You want it unsweetened - add a lot of water.

13. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.

14 . So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.

15. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

16. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.

17. We eat dinner together with our families, we pray before we eat (yeah, even breakfast), we go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays, we go to high school football games on Friday nights, we still address our seniors with 'yes sirs' and
'yes ma'ams', and we sometimes still take Sunday drives around town to see friends and neighbors.

18. We don't do "hurry up" well.

19. Greens - yeah, we have greens, but you don't putt on them. You boil them with either salt back or a ham hock.

20. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream, and carp , too. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

21 . They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 95 goes two ways-Interstate 40 goes the other two. Pick one.

22. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and pepper on them. You want to put milk and sugar on them - then you want cream of wheat - go to Kansas. That would be I-40 West.

23. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.

24. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah, it's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

25. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish - and if you hit it in the rough, we have these things called Diamondbacks, and they're not baseball players.

26. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot...his name is "Sir"...no matter how old he is.

27. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You park your Navigator under them, and they'll leave a logo on your hood.

28. You burn an American flag in our state - you get beat up. No questions. The liberal contingent of our state legislatures (all 4 of them) enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $10 fine for beating the person up.


Now, enjoy your visit... I emphasize - "visit."
__________________
"Fear is what keeps you alive but panic is what kills you" - Leo

"At contact distances, if you can't shoot him, hit him...Nothing says 'TAP' can't be accomplished by smashing the magazine into his face." - Gomez
TEAK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2003, 12:13   #2
king catfish
squirrelwhacker
 
king catfish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Hatfield, PA
Posts: 377
I'm as Yankee as they come, and I agree with just about everything on that list (I'm not religious). Of course, I live in PA, which is a lot like Alabama in the middle.
__________________
Rimfire Club #91
PA Glockers Club #12
Ham Shack #12
king catfish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2003, 21:03   #3
Ender
ComfortablyNumb
 
Ender's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Tactlessville
Posts: 43,756


for some reason, i really liked that. maybe because we have some real hick areas in our state. i applied a lot of those to a place called Shepard, and it fit. wonderful
__________________
Ender

"We'll meet again...don't know where, don't know when; but I know we'll meet again, some sunny day."
Ender is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2003, 22:32   #4
glock_19guy1983
Senior Member
 
glock_19guy1983's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: dixie
Posts: 3,711
Quote:
for some reason, i really liked that. maybe because we have some real hick areas in our state. i applied a lot of those to a place called Shepard, and it fit. wonderful
Hell, Michigan cant be too bad Ted Nugent is from there.The Lighter Side
glock_19guy1983 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2003, 22:33   #5
TEAK
1*
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: ALABAMA
Posts: 2,204
Send a message via AIM to TEAK
you have a point.
__________________
"Fear is what keeps you alive but panic is what kills you" - Leo

"At contact distances, if you can't shoot him, hit him...Nothing says 'TAP' can't be accomplished by smashing the magazine into his face." - Gomez
TEAK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2003, 13:01   #6
Bravo8
Tattooed Freak
 
Bravo8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,990
Quote:
Originally posted by king catfish
I'm as Yankee as they come, and I agree with just about everything on that list (I'm not religious). Of course, I live in PA, which is a lot like Alabama in the middle.
The saying I heard is, "Pa is Philly, Pittsburgh, and Kentucky in the middle."
__________________
Sanity is not my strong point.
Bravo8 is offline   Reply With Quote

 
  
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump




All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:50.




Homepage
FAQ
Forums
Calendar
Advertise
Gallery
GT Wiki
GT Blogs
Social Groups
Classifieds


Users Currently Online: 768
227 Members
541 Guests

Most users ever online: 2,672
Aug 11, 2014 at 2:31