Snubbie: 38 +P vs 9mm +P+ vs 357 mag?
Like you, I've found that 357 mags in lightweight snubbie revolvers recoil way too much for fast, accurate, comfortable, defense shooting.
I tested the three primary snubbie calibers (38/9mm/357) and determined, after much backyard field testing (velocities + penetration + expansion + recoil + fast shooting accuracy), that 9mm +P+ 115gr JHP's @ 1150 - 1225 fps in small all steel 2" snubbies (S&W & Taurus) came very close to equaling357 mag 2" performance with about half the felt recoil and almost zero muzzle flash. In essence, with 9mm +P+ I get 357 mag performance in a pocket-pistol package that is easy and comfortable to shoot fast and accurately.
38 +P's, on the other hand, had considerably less velocity with about the same felt recoil as the much more powerful 9mm +P+. No advantage there that I could see.
What is your opinion of the 9mm +P+ in 2" revolvers?
My advice isn't for everyone. It's primarily for legally armed citizens who refuse to be victims.