Pet food woes
A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up three cans and took them to the check out counter.
The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of older people buy cat food to eat, and the government requires proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store, and they sold her the cat food.
The next day, she tried to buy three cans of dog food. Again the cashier demanded proof that she had a dog, because older people sometimes eat dog food.
She went home and brought in her dog, and they sold her dog food.
The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid, and asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole but the cashier refused, saying "No, you might have a snake in there." The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out and exclaimed, "That smells like crap." The little old lady said, "It is. Now can I buy three rolls of toilet paper?"
Don't dial 911, dial 1911
If you don't stand behind our troops, PLEASE feel free to stand in front of them!
Schiit audio, everything else ain't.