A mountain woman went to the doctor
and was told to go home and come back in a couple of days with a specimen.
When she got home she asks her husband,
"What is a specimen?"
He replies. "Hell if I know.
Go next door and ask Edith. She's a nurse"
The woman goes next door and comes back in about twenty minutes
with her clothes all torn and with multiple cuts and bruises on her face and body.
"What in the world happened?" asked her husband.
"Damn if I know," she replies.
"I asked Edith what a specimen was
and she told me to go piss in a bottle.
I told her to go crap in her hat
and then all hell broke loose.
Don't dial 911, dial 1911
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