Glock Talk
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03-29-2011, 14:45
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#1
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texas proud
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: dallas, tx
Posts: 2,434
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why did the chicken cross the road?
why did the chicken cross the road? ............ to show the armadillo it could be done!  just being goofy
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03-29-2011, 14:59
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#2
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Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 89
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Why wa sthe skeleton afraid to cross the road?
Because he had no guts!
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03-29-2011, 15:30
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#3
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NRA Patron
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Richmond, Virginia
Posts: 5,911
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The chicken crossed the road, but who egged him on?
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03-29-2011, 15:37
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#4
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Dungeon Schmuck
Join Date: Dec 1998
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 6,922
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Why did the TEA Party chicken cross the road? ... ... ... To get from the left to the right.
__________________
Samurai Rabbi
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04-25-2011, 09:30
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#5
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texas proud
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: dallas, tx
Posts: 2,434
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did the chiken cross the road ?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with his problems on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after his problems on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road ..
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it. It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. Probably.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes, and in the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me what direction that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken - cross the road? Did he cross it - with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road - but why it crossed - I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken is gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it, the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: In a few moments, we will be listening for the first time,that same chicken tell us, in its own words, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens .... It's easy, if you try ..... Crossing roads, together .... Hoping not to die ..... Imagine all, the chickens .... Crossing, roads, in peace ....
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2000, Millennium Edition, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is a integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cras ... #@&&^(!
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
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04-25-2011, 10:07
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#6
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Silly
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: S.W. MO
Posts: 1,699
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Because Okie was hornswaggled by a major pizza chain
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04-25-2011, 10:12
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#7
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CLM Number 135
Smartass Pilot
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Short final
Posts: 11,307
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Why did the baby cross the road?
Stapled to the chicken...
__________________
Peace is our profession (war is just a hobby)
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04-25-2011, 10:41
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#8
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Hello
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Somewhere in MD
Posts: 6,287
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Quote:
Originally Posted by barstoolguru
did the chiken cross the road ?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with his problems on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after his problems on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road ..
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it. It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. Probably.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes, and in the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me what direction that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken - cross the road? Did he cross it - with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road - but why it crossed - I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken is gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it, the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: In a few moments, we will be listening for the first time,that same chicken tell us, in its own words, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens .... It's easy, if you try ..... Crossing roads, together .... Hoping not to die ..... Imagine all, the chickens .... Crossing, roads, in peace ....
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2000, Millennium Edition, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is a integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cras ... #@&&^(!
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
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04-25-2011, 10:42
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#9
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CLM Number 2
Scouts Out
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 62,667
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To avoid Mrs Kitty's locking hammer...
__________________
Sent from my rotary phone
"The way I see it as soon as a baby is born, he should be issued a banjo!"- Linus Van Pelt
UNIX - Not just for Vestal Virgins any more
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04-25-2011, 10:48
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Orlando
Posts: 560
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Are you folks okay? Boy, strange bunch here at GT. 
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04-25-2011, 10:49
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 236
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Corny joke thread?
A pair of jumper cables walked into a bar and ordered a beer, bartender says " I'll let you in here but don't you start nothing."
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04-25-2011, 10:53
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#12
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CLM Number 135
Smartass Pilot
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Short final
Posts: 11,307
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hi480volts
Corny joke thread?
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"Cross the road" corny joke thread.
__________________
Peace is our profession (war is just a hobby)
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04-25-2011, 10:59
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Maine
Posts: 2,359
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hi480volts
Corny joke thread?
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What did the ocean say when it met the beach?
nothing, it just waved.
__________________
568213784925664
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04-25-2011, 11:04
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Orlando
Posts: 560
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hi480volts
Corny joke thread?
A pair of jumper cables walked into a bar and ordered a beer, bartender says " I'll let you in here but don't you start nothing."
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Taken as a positive warning by one cable and and a negative by the other.
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04-25-2011, 11:08
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#15
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"SHOOTING"
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Willamette Valley
Posts: 7
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Why`d the prevert cross??
Stuck to the chicken
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04-25-2011, 11:12
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#16
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Semper Paratus
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 13,521
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Quote:
Originally Posted by barstoolguru
why did the chicken cross the road? ............ to show the armadillo it could be done! just being goofy |
Why to bang da hens of course.....
__________________
How do you establish intent?
Well when a naked man is chasing a woman down an alley with a butcher knife and a hard on, I figure he's not collecting for the red cross...Inspector H. Callahan
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04-25-2011, 11:13
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#17
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Semper Paratus
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 13,521
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What has floppy ears and makes you sleepy.........................The Ether Bunny
__________________
How do you establish intent?
Well when a naked man is chasing a woman down an alley with a butcher knife and a hard on, I figure he's not collecting for the red cross...Inspector H. Callahan
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04-25-2011, 11:20
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#18
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Slacked jawed
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 11,213
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Why did the Chicken cross the road? To evade arrest.
Last edited by Bilbo Bagins; 04-25-2011 at 11:21..
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04-25-2011, 11:28
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#19
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,737
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Funny stuff.
__________________
Florida Glocker 154
Quote: Ancient_Serpent. Being kind, polite or having class isn't PC.
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04-25-2011, 11:35
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#20
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Use Linux!
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Land of Idiots and Libtards
Posts: 14,153
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gonepostal
Why wa sthe skeleton afraid to cross the road?
Because he had no guts!
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I thought it was because he was still in the closet!
__________________
Using Microsoft is like playing Russian roulette with an automatic pistol... the results are always messy
"The Constitution is my Law. The Declaration of Independence my bible. And Freedom my religion." - Me
Thick skin... a must in a free society.
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04-25-2011, 11:42
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#21
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Dungeon Schmuck
Join Date: Dec 1998
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 6,922
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Why did the chicken cross the road TODAY?
To resurrect this thread.
__________________
Samurai Rabbi
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04-25-2011, 11:48
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#22
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 168
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A three legged dog walks into a bar, goes up to the bartender and says, I'm looking for the man that shot my Paw!
__________________
Glock 17 Gen 3, Glock 19 Gen 3, Glock 30SF Gen 3, Glock 36, DPMS AR15
When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are safe. Luke 11:21 NIV
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04-25-2011, 12:01
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#23
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,863
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What do you call a deer with no eyes ?........... I have no idear. (ba dum tish)
Thank you folks, I'll be here all week. 
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04-25-2011, 12:34
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#24
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texas proud
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: dallas, tx
Posts: 2,434
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A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes.
The woman asked the gentlemen,"What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?" The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden naked in my trench coat and flash them. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."
Well, the woman was so impressed; she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she flashed her garden hoping for the best.
One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"
No", she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."
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04-25-2011, 12:51
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#25
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Infidel
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Texas, where else?
Posts: 655
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.E
Why`d the prevert cross??
Stuck to the chicken
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Thats just wrong...
__________________
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul, can always depend on the support of Paul.
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