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Old 07-21-2011, 10:34   #1
DepChief
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Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he dosen't push himself up, he pushes the earth down.
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Old 07-21-2011, 10:35   #2
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When Chuck Norris jumps into water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.
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Old 07-21-2011, 10:38   #3
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Chuck Norris once shot down an airplane by pointing at it with his finger and saying "bang".
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Old 07-21-2011, 10:39   #4
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The Boogyman looks under his bed for Chuck Norris when he goes to bed.
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Old 07-21-2011, 10:59   #5
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Chuck Norris got into a staring contest with the sun ... and won.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there's no sign of life there.

There's no theory of evolution, only a list of creatures that Chuck Norris lets live.

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.

Chuck Norris got bit by a zombie and the zombie turned into Chuck Norris.

There once was a street named Chuck Norris, but they had to change the name because anyone who crosses Chuck Norris dies.
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Old 07-21-2011, 16:26   #6
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Chuck Norris can pop a wheelie on a unicycle.
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Look, we whipped the World's ass at the Olympics, we have an effin SUV rolling around on Mars, and now our Flag has a confirmed kill. How great is that?
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Old 07-21-2011, 16:27   #7
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Hand Chuck Norris lemons, he gives you orange juice.
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Look, we whipped the World's ass at the Olympics, we have an effin SUV rolling around on Mars, and now our Flag has a confirmed kill. How great is that?
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Old 07-21-2011, 17:20   #8
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Y'all bought the book, too, huh?
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Old 07-21-2011, 18:57   #9
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The Great Wall of China was built to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
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Old 07-21-2011, 19:43   #10
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Someone once shot Chuck Norris with a 10mm.

When Mr. Norris found out about it, he weren't happy.
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Old 07-21-2011, 20:00   #11
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I don't know why but there always funny.
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Old 07-21-2011, 20:20   #12
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I've heard many of 'em but my favorite is still:

Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands.

Now, they're just called "The Islands."
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Old 07-21-2011, 20:30   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AA#5 View Post
I've heard many of 'em but my favorite is still:

Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands.

Now, they're just called "The Islands."
I used this today. Too funny.
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Old 07-21-2011, 20:44   #14
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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Old 07-21-2011, 20:45   #15
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Chuck Norris once made love to Christie Brinkley....9 months later she gave birth to a Total Gym
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Old 07-21-2011, 22:03   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gruntmedik View Post
Someone once shot Chuck Norris with a 10mm.

When Mr. Norris found out about it, he weren't happy.
It was a mistake, really.........
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Old 07-22-2011, 09:00   #17
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My favorite:

Behind Chuck Norris' beard there is no chin. There is only another fist.
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Old 07-22-2011, 09:33   #18
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Chuck Norris was seen leaving Pakistan shortly after UBL's death.
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Old 07-28-2011, 19:31   #19
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Old 07-28-2011, 20:18   #20
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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

When Chuck Norris was born, he gave the doctor a round house kick.
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