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Old 08-15-2011, 19:45   #1
clancy
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How would you handle this, part 3.

Some of you may remember my 2 previous postings concerning the harassment calls by my ex-wife to the NYS police. We are in the middle of a custody battle that seems to be getting nastier by the day. Friday night, at about 2:30am I, as well as all my neighbors in the cul-de-sac I live in were woken by the flashing lights of a patrol car, and the pounding on my door of a trooper. Needless to say, my dogs and my neighbors dogs were quite vocal. There were 2 troopers, in 2 cars. The female trooper, despite the request of the male trooper with her, refused to turn of her lights. I gues I should add that the male trooper was here on 4 previous occasions when my ex made BS calls, so he had a pretty good idea what was going on, but was there to do his job. My ex had called to report that my son had called about 1am, crying and telling her I was drunk and he was scared. She accused me fo grabbing the phone and hanging up and refusing to answer it when she called back. They had me wake my son up so they could question him, and as you have already guessed, he said he never called. The male trooper was apologetic, saying he hoped we understood he was just doing his job, and, while I wasn't happy about another visit, I realize he has to do what he has to do. The female trooper, who had never been there before, well let's just say she had quite the attitude, and didn't seem to care that she woke up all my neighbors. I am just glad the male trooper was with her, because I really think she could have made a good situation very bad. She wanted to cuff me and have me sit on the kitchen floor while all this was going on, and it took the other trooper a good 5 minutes to get her to agree to not to. They got into quite a heated argument at one point. This makes the 18th time the police have been called by my ex since december of 2010, over nothing. It is also the first time I have had a negative attitude from one of the troopers called here.

To add insult to injury, Child Protective Services is doing another investigation on me, the 4th in 6 months. According to the "anonymous" call, I have been allowing my son to go unsupervised with his .22 rifle and shoot in our backyard. This time the CPS investigator has offered to testify on my behalf in family court, because of the harassing charges and what she fears is the emotional damage my ex is doing to our son.

My ex is going for a court ordered mental health evaluation(so am I, it is standard procedure). I wish I could be a fly on the wall at that meeting.
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Old 08-15-2011, 20:03   #2
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Our PD has a "chronic caller" policy where we stop responding to stuff like that. Too bad those troopers don't, I guess.
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Old 08-15-2011, 20:27   #3
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A buddy of mine went through a similar situation a few years back. BS calls to the local PD, where most of the coppers knew the situation, understood where the "EX" wife was coming from and went through the motions when dispatched to residence. The "EX" would even go to the local precinct, file BS complaints against "hubby" where she would be routinely "escorted" from the station house. He just had to "go with the flow" and document / notify his attorney after each "accusation".

Eventually, he was granted "full custody" of the children by the court, he was allowed to keep the primary residence and SHE was ordered to pay child support for all three children. It wasn't exactly what SHE was hoping for, but the court realized the game she was playing and ruled accordingly. The "EX" apparently though that the more complaints / accusations she made against "hubby", the more it would make her look better in court. It turns out that she was sadly mistaken.

The only ones who truly suffered were the children and still do to this day, due to the actions of their mother. All I can say is "just keep doing what your doing" and let the facts play out. I wish you well and hope that your children don't suffer irreparable harm from this ordeal.
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Old 08-15-2011, 20:38   #4
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It's about time for an injunction. Past time. And an investigation into false reporting, or whatever your state calls it. The involvement of your son, his denials, and the observations of the troopers take it out of "he said/she said".
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Old 08-15-2011, 20:58   #5
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In WV I'd charge her with making a false child abuse report. I would think NY would have a similar statute, but perhaps not.
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Old 08-15-2011, 21:20   #6
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Get copies of all reports involving you, ex, and your residence. Obtain a Civil Protection Order, which will get her arrested fairly quickly for continued harassment.
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Old 08-15-2011, 21:56   #7
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Clancy, do you have an attorney? I'm going to guess that you do. If so, what does that blood sucking leach have to say? If your attorney hasn't made a suggestion by now, fire that person. If you have no idea what attorney to use, ask an officer who they would use, chances are they've used or know of the best divorce/custody attorney. DO NOT PRICE SHOP! Get the best that you can afford.

You're going to go through this only once, hopefully, and you damn sure don't want anyone that talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk.

When I went through this 13 years ago, I asked an officer that I knew who had been through one or two divorce/custody battles, and thats what they are, battles. I made an appointment with his suggestion and I got the house/my children, one adopted, and child support. The judge asked if I needed any alimony. I declined.
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Old 08-16-2011, 08:42   #8
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The important thing is it is documented again.

I do have to say that typically when we clear a call, we just do a regular little paragraph statement in the computer saying how we cleared it (if it doesn't involve a report).

However, with all these incidents, I'd be past doing that and doing a non criminal miscellaneous incident full report. That way it is easier to see the documentation. Obviously you need to consult with your attorney. If your attorney isn't trying to do something about all this harassment, then yeah, get a new one.
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Old 08-16-2011, 14:37   #9
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Opening the door is voluntary, I 'm a cop and I would have stopped after the first time I would tell them from behimd a closed door to contact my lawyer I have nothing to say and if they had probable cause to come back with a search warrant otherwise please leave my property.

Enough is enough any real lawyer would have put a stop to this after the 3rd time and charges would have been filed against the wife by now for any one of a number of possible misuse or fabrication statutes.

EDITED TO SAY...
Oh yeah and call in a complaint on the lady trooper she is obviously sexist and will only cause problems the longer she is on the job for the men that work around her.
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Old 08-16-2011, 15:17   #10
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I'm surprised the PD hasn't done something, i.e. false reporting charges as mentioned earlier. I would really push for that next time they show up.

I've charged people for false reporting for doing it one time, let alone 18. Plus, no supervisor here would be putting up with that many calls for service on complaints that are all BS.
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Old 08-16-2011, 15:45   #11
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I'm surprised the PD hasn't done something, i.e. false reporting charges as mentioned earlier. I would really push for that next time they show up.

I've charged people for false reporting for doing it one time, let alone 18. Plus, no supervisor here would be putting up with that many calls for service on complaints that are all BS.
I would have written her for false report after one time. Repeated calls would have led to abuse of 911.
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Old 08-16-2011, 16:52   #12
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With all due respect, I think your lawyer sucks.

Your ex should be in jail by now; and yourself with sole custody of your kid.
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Old 08-16-2011, 17:08   #13
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How do you really feel.



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Well when a naked man is chasing a woman down an alley with a butcher knife and a hard on, I figure he's not collecting for the red cross...Inspector H. Callahan
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Old 08-16-2011, 17:27   #14
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Quote from SWAT:

"Oh yeah and call in a complaint on the lady trooper she is obviously sexist and will only cause problems the longer she is on the job for the men that work around her."

He beat me to it. I would get a name with NYSP and write a letter.
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Old 08-16-2011, 20:37   #15
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My ex is going for a court ordered mental health evaluation(so am I, it is standard procedure). I wish I could be a fly on the wall at that meeting.
I have already diagnosed your wife if what you say is true she is a Sociopath and probably a narcissist and will probably wrap the court Doc around her finger because well the ones working for the state don't have the best creds....
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Old 08-16-2011, 22:21   #16
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I have already diagnosed your wife if what you say is true she is a Sociopath and probably a narcissist and will probably wrap the court Doc around her finger because well the ones working for the state don't have the best creds....
Out of curiosity, how can the court compel a mental health examination?

Seems like it would be much easier to prove who can provide the best living arrangement, rather than who is loopy.
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Old 08-17-2011, 07:06   #17
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Most of the time it's a condition of the divorce in most states where kids are involved. And its mostly worthless


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Well when a naked man is chasing a woman down an alley with a butcher knife and a hard on, I figure he's not collecting for the red cross...Inspector H. Callahan
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Old 08-17-2011, 07:28   #18
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You need to get your lawyer involved and get this shut down asap.
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Old 08-17-2011, 07:42   #19
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Have her killed. It's the only way.
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Old 08-17-2011, 18:29   #20
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You need to get your lawyer involved and get this shut down asap.
Hey, just noticed your sig line....You know Sonny, or someone else associated to the flick?
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Old 08-17-2011, 20:05   #21
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Run this past your lawyer first:

Send a letter to the Chief outlining the fact that your ex has been filing false reports, state that you have had enough and will press charges each time. Hopefully your town is small. Please ask that it is read at roll call, as you will be no longer answering the door. Hell, send the prosecutor a copy.

Explain that you will not be answering any questions regarding any future inquiries, refer them to your lawyer...see attached business card. Post the same thing on your front door. Do not answer the door....period.

Last time I checked, the authority of CPS/DCF was pretty limited, just politely send a registered letter to the investigator and their supervisor stating that you refuse to facilite the ex's games, refer them to your lawyer for any future inquiries. No visit, no interview, no signed releases....nothing.

Go to the PD and get a run sheet of the "cad" and dispositions of the calls, head down to the court and apply for a protective order. A simple "refrain from harassing, etc." should cover it.

-had a wealthy friend who had worse happening...finally put a "police" style cam in the SUV he had and mic'd himself. There are wiretapping laws that come into play, but let's face it, when you call out the date, time & location of a conversation with the ex, it serves to keep you more civil and shut down any non-sense later.

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Old 08-18-2011, 04:47   #22
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Have her killed. It's the only way.

I do hope you are joking.

My lawyer is drawing up papers to present to the court regarding the harassment calls. The town I live in is so small that we don't have a PD, hence the calls to the state police. It is SOP for all parties involved to have a mental health eval in a child cusotdy case, and I don't expect my ex will do all that well. My son's teachers, the school principle, and the parents of his friends all have the opinion she is a condescending, arrogant *****. I don't think she will be able to change that attitude for anyone. A huge plus is that she is shacked up with a Muslim from North Africa(Morocco) who does not allow her to talk to anyone unless he is present. I can just imagine how things will go with that at their evaluations.

In my favor I have a NYS Trooper and CPS caseworker who have both offered to testify for me when we go to trial. They have both asked if she had any mental health issues, and the case worker said she has never had anything quite like my case in her career. Google Malicious Mother Syndrome and Parental Alienation Syndrome. It is like they were written about her.
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Old 08-18-2011, 04:50   #23
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Yes, kidding.

I think you are on the right track. Good luck.
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Old 08-18-2011, 11:20   #24
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Opening the door is voluntary, I 'm a cop and I would have stopped after the first time I would tell them from behimd a closed door to contact my lawyer I have nothing to say and if they had probable cause to come back with a search warrant otherwise please leave my property.

Enough is enough any real lawyer would have put a stop to this after the 3rd time and charges would have been filed against the wife by now for any one of a number of possible misuse or fabrication statutes.

EDITED TO SAY...
Oh yeah and call in a complaint on the lady trooper she is obviously sexist and will only cause problems the longer she is on the job for the men that work around her.
^This - especially regarding the little female nazi with crank envy...
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