"A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. The Annual Sexual Education Convention in Chicago."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for sex education!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded, "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really!," he said. "What myths are those?"
"Well," she explained. "One popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed, when in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent. We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern Redneck." Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."
"Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."
I am a professional I always aim true whether firing single shots or full automatic, I know neither fatigue nor failure I would take pride in my work but for one thing, I do not know my target, I am not the one that kills, that distinction belongs to the man who pulls my trigger, I am an assault rifle my name is Kalashnikov