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Old 03-25-2012, 03:35   #1
blueyedmule
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"Carrying Makes You More Likely to Escalate"

This is Mrs. Mule's concern. She's Canadian, from Montreal, so being married to a firearm owner and unabashed hick hayseed trucker from rural Oregon has been somewhat of a revelation.

Have you had anyone express this concern to you? When I took my CCW class I related this conversation to my instructor. He said his wife had had the same worry and his response was the same as mine; that carrying a firearm lessens the likelihood he will escalate a confrontation because the repercussions are so much more serious.

My carrying has much more to do with the bad actor intent on murder and mayhem from the get-go than it does the typical chest-thumping testosterone jockey looking for generic ego-boosting altercations. And of course the third reason, social unrest of a wider sort with political and economic causes.

Was anyone in your life expressing these kinds of concerns, that carrying made it more likely you'd press the issue and escalate in a chest-bumping confrontation rather than walk away?
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Old 03-25-2012, 04:16   #2
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Carrying, IMHO, makes you far LESS likely to escalate, because if you have half a brain, you know that you have the ultimate last word on your person with that firearm. If anything, I am less inclined to be confrontational when I'm carrying for that very reason. While I will not allow myself to become a victim, I also walk softly when I've got "the big stick" on my person. I'd be willing to bet that mindset applies to about 95% of legal concealed holders.
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Old 03-25-2012, 04:27   #3
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Having the ability to "have the last word" oftentimes makes ya realize that it's not worth the time or effort of having for having's sakes, know what I mean?

I don't even have the interest in trying to "win" those kinds of things. I'd just as soon the other cat have his say and we all just walk away, no real harm done. My ego just isn't that fragile anymore.
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Old 03-25-2012, 04:56   #4
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That feeling has been brought up by some people I know. They have told me that they were afraid that they would use their weapon on someone if they became angry at someone.

My response to them was that they did not seem mature enough, nor responsible enough to carry and that I felt they made the right choice to not carry. Some people just seem incapable of controling their emotions. Perhaps that is where liberals get their ideas from and assume everyone is like that.
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Old 03-25-2012, 05:29   #5
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That feeling has been brought up by some people I know. They have told me that they were afraid that they would use their weapon on someone if they became angry at someone.

My response to them was that they did not seem mature enough, nor responsible enough to carry and that I felt they made the right choice to not carry. Some people just seem incapable of controling their emotions. Perhaps that is where liberals get their ideas from and assume everyone is like that.
I think the underlying philosophy is this: I have to act on my emotions or I am a hypocrite. If I don't feel love for my wife I have to leave because I have to be true to myself (for instance). Feeling=truth. Not knowing, reason, choosing to act through the intellect, but feeling. If you live by this way of thinking, or non-thinking, then carrying lethal force could be catastrophic. By all means I encourage these kinds of folks to carry nothing more dangerous than a jug of organic milk (non-bGH, of course).
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Old 03-25-2012, 07:38   #6
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From my own personal experience I believe that carrying a firearm makes you substantially LESS likely to escalate. Before I carried regularly, I would get very animated and angry when other drivers did stupid things like cut me off in traffic or tailgate me when I had no where to go. Horn honking, arm gestures and once pulling over to confront the aggressor.

Since carrying, I no longer do such things as I know the possible results of such nonsense getting out of hand. In short, carrying a firearm has made me more polite and tolerant of others.
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Old 03-25-2012, 07:52   #7
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I know the possible results of such nonsense getting out of hand. In short, carrying a firearm has made me more polite and tolerant of others.
This. +1. Amen.

"An armed society is a polite society." It may be trite and bumperstickerish, but it also happens to be accurate and true.
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Old 03-25-2012, 08:00   #8
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I have had to walk away from a few loudmouths while ccw. I guess I didn't HAVE to but it made sense.

I carry a gun to protect my life not my ego.
I don't carry a gun to a fistfight or a fist to a gunfight.


Making order out of chaos
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Old 03-25-2012, 08:02   #9
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Originally Posted by GRIMLET View Post
I have had to walk away from a few loudmouths while ccw. I guess I didn't HAVE to but it made sense.

I carry a gun to protect my life not my ego.
I don't carry a gun to a fistfight or a fist to a gunfight.


Making order out of chaos
You, sir, are a wise man.
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Old 03-25-2012, 08:12   #10
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Originally Posted by GRIMLET View Post
I have had to walk away from a few loudmouths while ccw. I guess I didn't HAVE to but it made sense.

I carry a gun to protect my life not my ego.
I don't carry a gun to a fistfight or a fist to a gunfight.


Making order out of chaos
+1 couldn't have said it any better.

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Old 03-25-2012, 08:14   #11
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Since I have been a CCW Holder, I have found myself to be more than willing to avoid any type of confrontation if possible. I make every attempt that I can to avoid and go around bad parts of a City.

I will do whatever it takes to keep my family and myself safe. However, I would prefer if I didn’t have to use it outside of practicing.

I feel that getting too comfortable with having a firearm as your only protection and getting over confident with it is a recipe for disaster. I think commend sense can be a better use of a tool.
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Old 03-25-2012, 08:53   #12
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I carry on a dialog with myself quite often reminding me that carrying a weapon does not give me the right to dispense justice or prevent fights. My weapon is there to prevent mortal danger to myself or other potential victims, or to potentially stop a felony crime in progress. Those are the only things that the law allows.
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Old 03-25-2012, 11:22   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GRIMLET View Post
I carry a gun to protect my life not my ego.
This is the very essence, IMO, for CCW. Well said. Well said.
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Old 03-25-2012, 12:01   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GRIMLET View Post
I have had to walk away from a few loudmouths while ccw. I guess I didn't HAVE to but it made sense.

I carry a gun to protect my life not my ego.
I don't carry a gun to a fistfight or a fist to a gunfight.


Making order out of chaos

GRIMLET this has been my experience in almost 40 years of CCW. Sure I have been royally P.O. ed by a few people but I did not first get a gun in order to be a "tough guy" but to save my bacon if the occasion arose.
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Old 03-25-2012, 19:02   #15
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I appreciate all your replies, keep 'em coming!
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Old 03-25-2012, 19:05   #16
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Originally Posted by blueyedmule View Post
Was anyone in your life expressing these kinds of concerns, that carrying made it more likely you'd press the issue and escalate in a chest-bumping confrontation rather than walk away?
No.

Nobody who knows me would ever worry about that.

Now, people outside of my life, if you will, bring that up when the general issue arises. I chalk it up projection as much as anything.
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Old 03-25-2012, 19:12   #17
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When I carry, I make myself feel invisible. I am just the opposite of macho and confrontational. I feel that carrying gives me this responsibility of doing everything I can to not be confrontational in any situation. I'd walk away in every situation till someone drew a weapon or I was attacked by several people. The one thing I will not do in that case is turn my back completely, though I will back up to de-escalate if the situation warrants it.

EDIT: I am naturally friendly, so it is unlikely I would offend someone or escalate a situation.

Last edited by chandne; 03-25-2012 at 19:13..
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Old 03-25-2012, 23:37   #18
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In my experience, people who carry are much more likely to NOT escalate a situation and will walk away or avoid as much as possible.

The last thing you want is to get into a fist fight while you are carrying a firearm.

An armed society, is a polite society.
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Old 03-26-2012, 00:31   #19
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I have always been one to avoid potentially violent encounters. Being armed adds a dimension to this, in that I avoid initiating communications that have the possibility of being combative. For example, my wife and I were in a restaurant where she complained to me about a man staring at her a lot. I was reluctant to approach him but instead, I watched for threats.

BTW: One should also realize that many others are armed. This "last word" possibility assumes only one side comes to the fight armed. In reality, you just have a chance armed. You can do everything right and still lose.

Anyway, escalation and deadly force leads to no good. I do not lower my rules of engagement if I am armed. As Sun Tsu said, the cost of victory may too great; there is wisdom in avoiding costly battles even when victory is very likely. The suffering may exceed the benefits gained.
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Old 03-26-2012, 01:10   #20
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I noticed the exact same thing when I started carrying all the time. I am much more polite and non-confrontational now. My gun doesn't make me a "badass", as some of my family believes is the reason why I choose to carry, it just assures me that if I need it then its there.

I open carry, so its also a bit different than CC in the fact that people I encounter during the day know I am armed. The last thing I want to do is get into a verbal or physical altercation with someone in public because everyone can see that I'm carrying. It hasn't happened yet and I'd like to keep it that way.
I also try to avoid going stupid places if I can help it.
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