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Old 06-11-2012, 13:54   #1
JBnTX
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Why Should God Let You Into Heaven?

Could you get into Heaven?

This guy dies and goes to heaven where he meets Peter at the Pearly Gates. Before he can enter Peter gives him a few questions to answer. He has to accumulate 100 points before he can go in.

"So, how often did you go to church?" Peter asks.

"I went every Sunday and Wednesday," replied the man.

"That's one point," answers Peter.

"One point? wow! I figured it would be worth more than that."

"And did you give in the offerings?" asked Peter.

"Yes, I gave 10% of all my income every week," answered the man.

"Well, let's see," answers Peter, "that's worth 3 points. Did you do anything else?"

"Well, right off hand, I can't think of a whole lot. I did mostly what I thought I was supposed to do."

"Well, we'll give you 5 points for good behavior, can't you come up with something else?"

By this time, the man is completely flustered. He finally cries, "Well, I can't come up with anything else. It looks like that no one can enter heaven except by the Grace of God!"

"100 points! Come on in!"

(Author Unknown)
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Old 06-11-2012, 18:41   #2
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Are you saying that God's Grace only worth.....91 point?

1 + 3 + 5 + 91 = 100 points

OK. Now, let's get serious: I know this is suppose to be a funny story. However, it could mislead some people. You see: God's Grace alone will get you to Heaven. Anything else worths.....nothing....0 point. That's right. ZERO point.

Here is the proof from the Bible:

"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God. NOT OF WORKS, lest any man should boast" Ephesian 2:8-9
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Last edited by SIGlock; 06-11-2012 at 18:45..
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Old 06-11-2012, 18:46   #3
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I'm going to have a talk with him about that, as soon as I meet him.
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Old 06-11-2012, 20:26   #4
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Well looks like I'm screwed.
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Old 06-11-2012, 21:34   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SIGlock View Post
Are you saying that God's Grace only worth.....91 point?

1 + 3 + 5 + 91 = 100 points

OK. Now, let's get serious: I know this is suppose to be a funny story. However, it could mislead some people. You see: God's Grace alone will get you to Heaven. Anything else worths.....nothing....0 point. That's right. ZERO point.

Here is the proof from the Bible:

"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God. NOT OF WORKS, lest any man should boast" Ephesian 2:8-9
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that I seriously doubt it'll mislead even the thickest of folks.
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Old 06-11-2012, 22:05   #6
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I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that I seriously doubt it'll mislead even the thickest of folks.
I wish that joke was the only thing that could mislead people. Unfortunately, so many people are mislead by the concept of good works (with or without that joke).

The reality is: If you ask anyone this question: Why should God let you enter heaven....the majority of all the answers you will get from most people.... will have nothing to do with God's grace. Sad, very sad.
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Old 06-11-2012, 22:08   #7
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How did he get into heaven without Jesus Christ?

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Old 06-11-2012, 22:11   #8
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Well looks like I'm screwed.
Not necessary. Unless you want that way. You have a choice. Everyone has a choice. God does not force anyone to accept him. It's all up to you.

"Amazing Grace: how sweet the sound,
that saved the wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I am found.
Was blind but now I see".
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Old 06-11-2012, 22:19   #9
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How did he get into heaven without Jesus Christ?
No one can get to heaven without Jesus Christ.

God's plan of salvation is simple: It has to do with putting our faith and trust on Jesus Christ and not of your good works. So, by faith, you believe that Jesus Christ (and him alone) will save you. For you can't save yourself based on your good works alone.

The ENTIRE bible comes to focus on this verse that we all know as John 3:16. Quote by many, yet most people do not understand the simplicity of God's plan of salvation. Perhaps, most people do understand it....but their PRIDE get in the way....and they find it hard to believe that salvation does NOT require any good works. Perhaps, it requires humility...to accept that we are all sinners and must come to Jesus by faith, which turns out to be quite a difficult task for many people.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son (Jesus Christ), that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life". John 3:16
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Last edited by SIGlock; 06-11-2012 at 22:31..
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Old 06-11-2012, 22:35   #10
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Who wants into Heaven when Valhalla is an option?
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Old 06-11-2012, 22:40   #11
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Who wants into Heaven when Valhalla is an option?
Well, it's your choice. You are free to choose.
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Old 06-11-2012, 22:44   #12
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Originally Posted by SIGlock View Post
Not necessary. Unless you want that way. You have a choice. Everyone has a choice. God does not force anyone to accept him. It's all up to you.

"Amazing Grace: how sweet the sound,
that saved the wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I am found.
Was blind but now I see".
Yep I'm definitely screwed. I believe in God, I just don't believe in any of the rest of that nonsense.

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Who wants into Heaven when Valhalla is an option?
Good point. Add some pasta and I'm all in.

Last edited by juggy4711; 06-11-2012 at 22:46.. Reason: more clever comment.
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Old 06-11-2012, 22:54   #13
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Yep I'm definitely screwed. I believe in God, I just don't believe in any of the rest of that nonsense.

Are John 3:16 and Ephesian 2:8-9....as part of that nonsense you don't believe? They are taken from the Bible, you know.

If you said you believe in God; will you believe what God says in the Bible about how to obtain salvation....God's way. Not your way.
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Old 06-11-2012, 23:37   #14
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Will there be hookers and beer? If so I am repentant.
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Old 06-12-2012, 00:24   #15
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Will there be hookers and beer? If so I am repentant.
Ex-hookers and beer without drunkeness.
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Old 06-12-2012, 00:49   #16
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Ex-hookers and beer without drunkeness.
Bless me father for I have sinned. It's been 47 years since my last confession........can't recall what litany comes after that. Anyways, I want in before the ex-hookers are all spoken for. Hey, maybe we are each guaranteed a certain number, you know, like the mooslums all get 72 virgins? How many hookers or skanks does a medium sized white guy who hasn't done much bad get?
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Old 06-12-2012, 09:22   #17
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I want to go to hell, if that's where all the bad girls go.
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Old 06-12-2012, 10:43   #18
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I can hit a 1 iron.
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Old 06-12-2012, 20:16   #19
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Are John 3:16 and Ephesian 2:8-9....as part of that nonsense you don't believe? They are taken from the Bible, you know.

If you said you believe in God; will you believe what God says in the Bible about how to obtain salvation....God's way. Not your way.
Yes they are and yes I know from where they came. And no I won't because God did not write the Bible, man did. Man which I know to be fallible. So yeah my way, not what some dude decided to write down was God's.

How many days a week do you go to church?
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Old 06-12-2012, 20:22   #20
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Pretty sure there's unlimited ammo in Heaven.
And FYI-- Jesus is a Glock guy, too.
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Old 06-12-2012, 20:27   #21
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Heaven is a made up place in the future.

"sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."

Live for the today, the future will take care of itself.

If you walk with God in the present, there is no reason to think you will not be with God in the future heaven, if there be one.

Why should God let me into heaven?
"I'm already in heaven." I think Jesus would have said something like that.
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Old 06-12-2012, 21:00   #22
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Will there be hookers and beer? If so I am repentant.
Actually, I have heard of this type of heaven. Contrary to the teaching from the Bible, this special type of heaven does not require God's grace but much good works. It may require good works that goes beyond attending church, give offering, etc. It actually requires the greatest self sacrifice of yourself in this life. For example, one can fly an airplane full of people and slamp it into a building....killing everyone including yourself. Accomplishing such task all by yourself....scoring 100 points. You get the picture.

No thanks, this method is too hard for me to get into heaven. It is not scripture anyway. You may try it your way...if it means that much to you.
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Old 06-12-2012, 21:04   #23
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Bless me father for I have sinned. It's been 47 years since my last confession........can't recall what litany comes after that. Anyways, I want in before the ex-hookers are all spoken for. Hey, maybe we are each guaranteed a certain number, you know, like the mooslums all get 72 virgins? How many hookers or skanks does a medium sized white guy who hasn't done much bad get?
So much for repentant that you show....with such request, huh? You just sin again.
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Old 06-12-2012, 21:05   #24
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I want to go to hell, if that's where all the bad girls go.
Just curious, but have you ever heard this joke.....

Quote:
While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'
'No problem, just let me in,' says the man.
'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.'
'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the senator.
'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
'Now it's time to visit heaven.'
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.'
The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.'
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the senator. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.
What happened?'
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning.. ..

Today you voted.'
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Old 06-12-2012, 21:11   #25
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Yes they are and yes I know from where they came. And no I won't because God did not write the Bible, man did. Man which I know to be fallible. So yeah my way, not what some dude decided to write down was God's.

How many days a week do you go to church?
Thanks for being honest with your answer. Very straight forward. I respect that.

How often I go to church is not an important point here. Plus it's all about work and not Grace. So, I'd rather not say.
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