Divorce

frizz · 10-09-2012, 07:06

I'm not going to throw my personal details out, but this may be in my near future.

A lot of it depends on how a conversation I'll be having with her today goes. I don't want this, but there are some things that just can't work.

This is a big part of why I've been jerky (or extra jerky) as of late. No excuse, but please consider it.

FiremanMike · 10-09-2012, 08:55

Very sorry to hear that. Just remember, in sickness and in health, good times and bad.. You should fight to your core for your marriage. Not judging, just trying to encourage you.

Glock30Eric · 10-09-2012, 09:03

Divorce is not worth it. Try save your marriage and have both parties to give their shares into the marriage.

scccdoc · 10-09-2012, 09:21

I was divorced about 8 years ago, though I begged my wife to understand our differences and work on them including counseling. She was content with our "separate" lives while we were married, I wasn't. I divorced her. After 3 years, we came to an understanding and we have been remarried for 5 years now. Do everything in your power to stay married, in the end there is less pain.As my father used to say "It takes two to make a bargain" I wish you the best.............DOC

rockapede · 10-09-2012, 09:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by frizz

I'm not going to throw my personal details out, but this may be in my near future.

A lot of it depends on how a conversation I'll be having with her today goes. I don't want this, but there are some things that just can't work.

This is a big part of why I've been jerky (or extra jerky) as of late. No excuse, but please consider it.

Maybe log out from here and "log in" at home?

PaulMason · 10-09-2012, 09:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by frizz

I'm not going to throw my personal details out, but this may be in my near future.

A lot of it depends on how a conversation I'll be having with her today goes. I don't want this, but there are some things that just can't work.

This is a big part of why I've been jerky (or extra jerky) as of late. No excuse, but please consider it.

Children?

What are the big issues/stumbling blocks to getting out?

Short answer- marriage isn't a suicide pact - get it over and done with ASAP and out of your life. Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't let it fester, it only gets worse.

PrecisionRifleman · 10-09-2012, 09:40

Its cheaper to keep them. Make it work. If no kids are involved and its just not working, and you were wise enough to get a prenup. then end it. Run a cost benefit analysis and then you will know your options.

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Chesafreak · 10-09-2012, 09:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrecisionRifleman

Its cheaper to keep them.

Not in every case. Even after paying child support and alimony, I have hundreds left over after bills every month. When I was married, I was broke just days after every payday and we bounced checks just before payday as well. I survived 21 years of that before I threw in the towel.

frizz · 10-09-2012, 10:07

Thank you all for the kind words of support. I have had one divorce, and it nearly killed me.

I do want to save this. We have no kids, and we met and married in our 30s.

jeepinbandit · 10-09-2012, 10:36

I was married once. Screw that noise I've never been happier and will not be getting married again.

Grab ahold of that yellow and black loop and pull my friend.

frizz · 10-09-2012, 10:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeepinbandit

I was married once. Screw that noise I've never been happier and will not be getting married again.

Grab ahold of that yellow and black loop and pull my friend.

To each his own. Don't forget that ejection seats usually cause injuries. Even the best outcomes leave the aviator about an inch shorter!

frizz · 10-09-2012, 10:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockapede

Maybe log out from here and "log in" at home?

Astute observation, but it is actually the other way around.

PaulMason · 10-09-2012, 10:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by frizz

To each his own. Don't forget that ejection seats usually cause injuries. Even the best outcomes leave the aviator about an inch shorter!

Certain death (stay in the plane) versus a chance for life and happiness?

Gee, let me think about that one.

frizz · 10-09-2012, 11:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaulMason

Certain death (stay in the plane) versus a chance for life and happiness?

Gee, let me think about that one.

Let me clarify. Ejection has its own risks, so you have to weigh the options. By way of metaphor, my engine is wonky, and an airport is in range. My rudder and elevators aren't jammed from a SAM hit.

Beware Owner · 10-09-2012, 11:25

Sometimes separation makes the decision easier to come about to.

scccdoc · 10-09-2012, 11:29

Growing old by myself is not very appealing. Besides, who's gonna feed the cat? DOC

collim1 · 10-09-2012, 13:51

I have a co-worker and close friend in the same boat. They have two small children and an a teenage step-daughter. They are both good people, just cant work it out. Neither one could afford the home they live in on ther individual salary, and my buddy would be beaten to death on child support and alimony.

I am begging him to stick it out, but he is ready to give up.

Luckily me and my wife have a good relationship despite the job. I was doing this when we met so we didn't have the stress of a career change into LE.

PaulMason · 10-09-2012, 14:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by scccdoc

Growing old by myself is not very appealing. Besides, who's gonna feed the cat? DOC

Get a Monkey.

PaulMason · 10-09-2012, 14:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by frizz

Let me clarify. Ejection has its own risks, so you have to weigh the options. By way of metaphor, my engine is wonky, and an airport is in range. My rudder and elevators aren't jammed from a SAM hit.

OK. I still say, eject and don't get in another plane.

More then 50% of first marriages end in divorce.

Second marriage 60%

http://www.divorcerate.org/

Beware Owner · 10-09-2012, 14:10

Try separating for a little bit, it helps.

scccdoc · 10-09-2012, 14:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaulMason

Get a Monkey.

Beginning to understand why your relationships don't work

cowboywannabe · 10-09-2012, 15:13

sometimes you have to cut your loses....knowing if things have gone too far will help with that decision. somethings can not be gotten over.

Glock Holliday · 10-09-2012, 15:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chesafreak

Not in every case. Even after paying child support and alimony, I have hundreds left over after bills every month. When I was married, I was broke just days after every payday and we bounced checks just before payday as well. I survived 21 years of that before I threw in the towel.

I've been there a couple times. I think I took put up with more crap off of the second one because I knew how painful (and expensive) another divorce would be but after 20 years or so of a declining relationship I threw in the towel too. In retrospect the only real regret I have is not divorcing her sooner.

cowboywannabe · 10-09-2012, 15:24

life is too short to waste it with somebody who doesnt adore you.

**janice6** · 10-09-2012, 15:27

Didn't see if you had kids.

My father and mother were divorced when I was 12. After listening to the night long fights and cold treatments during the days, the distrust and suspicion, I think the divorce for my parents was the right thing. My father was great to us kids after the divorce, but he was hell for my mother to live with while married.

Maybe you have a case, only you know.