Ira, any of the above can be workable choices. Much more important will be letting her try different guns at a gun club or a rental range, and letting her pick what SHE is most comfortable with...getting her training in shooting and mindset...and letting her progress at her own pace.
Be happy that she has come to a logical decision. Be supportive. Please come back later and let us know how it all went.
If we go with the snub nose revolver, are the makes and models you'd recommend?
Also, I assume a .38 snub loaded with a decent SD load is going to kick a lot more that a 9mm Kahr...is this true? I ask because there aren't any rental ranges nearby.
You're correct, recoil is going to be distinctly sharper with the small lightweight .38. All-steel S&W or Ruger SP101 will probably prove to be the most controllable and the least punishing.